Best Job Interview Poems

As a former executive recruiter, I used to hear about some incredible things that applicants have said on job interviews.  A few of them are a bit 'spicy' to list here, but here are some choice tidbits:

My name's John.  But you can call...

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The HR person called me in… I was turning gray… Was he even twenty-one?
I wondered if the interview would go well, as he did fung shui the chairs around.
Offered a caramel expresso mocha late decaf, I told him I took my coffee black.
Alas my friend,...

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There once was a boy, named Abdul;
Went to get a job, fresh out of school. 
All dressed up like July,
With a bow and a tie;
But left his fly open, what a fool!...

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Going For A Job Interview

The moment of truth comes, when one comes face to face with a prospective boss…
Having secured an appointed date for interview, it is time to meet the boss…

This learned  young man is well prepared  in his spirits, mind and...

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I hurried to a nearby town
to give an interview.
I knew this perfect job would help
me start my life anew.

I took the elevator and
pushed button number eight.
The car lurched; then it wouldn’t budge.
I cried, “Oh, I’ll be late!”

One shrieking nut, two clueless girls
who texted or played...

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Went for a job interview
And was grounded by many stupid questions, not just few.

They started with, Describe yourself in three words.
Just read the documents and find the answer yourself.

Where do you see yourself in five years?
I am a computer  engineer, not an astrologer.

What are...

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his nose was distracting
but so was mine
i listened to it ; in the car on the way
there
the bass was in my brain

what if he'd never heard it?
the questions kept coming
questions about
stuff 
thinking about the book of judges
i saw paintings  

i followed him home
hid beneath...

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The raw innocence of a first job interview



I'm sitting at a McDonald's
writing a poem. I save it.
My interest is piqued,
at a young lad interviewing
for his first job, presumably. 
At first I see him dressed in shorts,
plain white t-shirt, and 
slippers, and I then think of...

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Before we begin let me say this is not a fun job.
I stand up, and shake their hand.
Thanks.
Fastest job interview ever....

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JOB INTERVIEW IN AFRICA

Changing bus
Walking heat
Worth the pain
Of aching feet....

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They asked “so what would you say is your biggest weakness?”
My inability to answer questions like this. 

What do you think you could bring to the role? 
Probably the motivation created by the payroll 

Where do you see yourself in 5 years from now? 
Doing...

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I'm scheduled to interview a few applicants for the job of master carpenter, and among them is the name of my ex. hmmm... I can't wait to see the look on his face when he sees me. After 9 years, there's a lot I'd like...

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in the plan
to help you stand
have god writing hand
cloths should be
is one of the key
nices shrit no drit
and something new
for the
JOB INTERVIEW...

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Hair looked wild, got to hide my tattoo,
Because today I have a job interview.
I wear a long sleeve shirt, scarf, and hat,
To hide my dragon-skull and vampire bat.

Went into Blackrock, the secretary smiled,
I wanted to spend time with her a while,
Then she saw the beer...

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