Bad Hair Day
Hair looked wild, got to hide my tattoo,
Because today I have a job interview.
I wear a long sleeve shirt, scarf, and hat,
To hide my dragon-skull and vampire bat.
Went into Blackrock, the secretary smiled,
I wanted to spend time with her a while,
Then she saw the beer stains on my shirt,
Decided she didn't want to flirt.
Talked to human resources, the questions came fast,
Tried to prevent them learning of my past,
Didn't mention my prison time, lied about my résumé,
Then the fan blew off my hat — what a bad day!
(Chorus)
It’s a bad hair day,
But I’m showing up anyway,
Got to meet the test
Can't always look your best.
The interviewer said, “You don’t qualify,
You lack the skills, and you need not apply.”
Then I said, “I may lack skills, but I’m part Cherokee,
Surely you can meet some target of diversity?”
The interviewer explained with a satirical grin
that diversity was out, experience was in.
I walked outside, felt life wasn’t fair,
People gave a stare at my wild hair.
Then I saw a dog try to bite two men outside,
I’ve dealt with pit bulls before, a matter of pride,
I gave the dog a whack on the nose,
Found out I had saved two CEOs.
Now I’m on the board of BlackRock Inc.,
Even though I look like a missing link.
They don’t mind my hair’s a mess,
Einstein looked that way too, it can impress.
That Neanderthal look has its perks
It intimidates bureaucrats, usually works..
It also helps with leftist assassins on New York Streets
They can't believe you're a capitalist if your hair speaks.
You can't win if you don't play
So don't be sunk by a bad hair day.
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