Best Idiot Poems
Idiot
You with the black eye
Idiot
You all bruised and blue
Idiot
You with dried blood and no hope
Idiot
You who climbs and plays
Idiot
You who feels hungers pain
Idiot
You who was born into the rain
Idiot
You who never saw a rainbow
Idiot
You who is all of four years old
Angel
Rescued at last from satan's helpers grasp
Idiots
Little child who suffered so
You so sadly found your parents were foe
You have been restrained in bondage
By the blackness of human shame
Tears rains down
Thinking why the devil plays such games
Deep purple bruising,
Only the surface pain
May your first four years
Never exist again
May a thousand cuddly hugs
and a thousand loving smiles
Blanket your heart and tickle your tummy
Saved
You are gods little angel
Safe and sound at last
Loved
* see notes
To Quick To Speak To Dumb To Hear
Vigilante wannabe
Intentions always good
Lost causes are his nemesis
Loyalty his strength
Abysmally annoying
Gauche socially to say the least
Egomaniac~ there’s one in every village
AP: Honorable Mention 2021
Posted on March 12, 2020
You’re an idiot –
Can’t you see
That what you write isn’t poetry?
Why aren’t you embarrassed?
How can you be pleased?
Your poetry’s the snot
Blown out of a sneeze
An ooey gooey booger
You want me to read
Well NEWS FLASH
YOU SUCK
Your poems are so bad
I can’t read past the first line
Without going MAD
Get them out of here
Your poems aren’t a gift -
In fact I will tell you
The truth and it’s this:
Your poems are just steaming
Piles of S H I T …
So, as we say in Greece
That’s where I’ll End my story
For the things that happen next
Weren’t made for song of glory
So many Tails, throughout the ages
Have spoke of love and loss
Of passions and betrayals
The triumphs and the cost
But never was one told
That meant as much to me
To launch a thousand ships
And survived through history
And with every great Greek story
There’s a lesson to be learn
So, I’ll leave you with this message
Now the last page, has been turned
The moral still stands true
Throughout all time, which passes
Don’t steal a person’s love away
And beware Greeks bare-ing asses
THEE END Authored By Jerry T Curtis
08/10/2014
The Year of The Horse
I met a man the other day
I think he thought he knew me
He heard me speaking with a friend
He said "Hey, are you from Kentucky?"
Well, I'm from West Virginia
He obviously doesn't know me
He grinned and then persisted
"Do you know Jethro," he inquired
"Or maybe you know Jesco?"
I wondered who he thought I was
but could not recall these people
so I just shrugged my shoulders
He obviously doesn't know me
He giggled then and called out a name
Someone he called Hillbilly
God, then names this fellow knows
I have to wonder about their parents
I smiled quietly and shook my head
He obviously doesn't know me
He seemed disappointed and on he went
"You dropped out of school in eighth grade?"
I wish. Grad School almost killed me
Even though I was a Mensa member
This guy sure knows some winners
He obviously doesn't know me
He asked if I was a moonshine farmer
I said' "no, electrical engineering"
He then accused me of never wearing shoes
So I wiggled my La Sportivas
Boy this guy sure is off the mark
He obviously doesn't know me
He surely wasn't satisfied
and started speaking strangely
It sounded vaguely Norwegian
"Venn, er du litt treg?" I asked him
He just stared at me blankly
He obviously doesn't know me
Finally, he went on his way
I told my friend, "I think he thought he knew me"
He angrily replied, "I think that he was teasing"
I laughed from deep inside, smiled then winked
"Who was that idiot, anyway?
He obviously doesn't know me"
I can't explain what sorrow i felt if was denied a show on your face,
how devastating it was for me to go through the pain of denial,
how wonderful you were was all i thought every time i watched you,
all the while with me....like my best friend,
as a kid you were so special,
nothing and no one bothered me as long as i could watch you.
Growing up i realized how important and informative you are,
i was addicted to you from the time i opened my eyes,
my connection to the world was you,
my idea to feel destressed was you.
I can feel the winds of change approaching me,
can feel that the one i always loved will not be valued by me.
Have you lost your magic or haven't i an eye for interest? ,
coz watching you no longer interests me,
you can't even hold my gaze anymore,
not entertaining or even watchable anymore,
rather stupid, unrealistic and to my surprise i was reduced to an ignorant fool!
laughing at every joke, acting silly......
watching everything and nothing, ignoring life,
so long all you did was led me to stupidity.....silly me, i pity me.
So much time i have wasted on you,
for my sleepless nights i blame you,
needless to mention i was obsessed of you,
not my escape but a grave are you,
i have finally agreed with those who say an idiot box are you.
Note: i am calling TV an idiot box.
King Menelaus' Song aka ( Helen's husband )
A Trojan boy, he stole my love
And I know where he’s hidin’
But all I have’s a thousand ships
I need your help Poseidon
I dare not tell a single soul
But in you I’m confidin’
I want to tear his huge walls down
And stand there right beside him
Poseidon
Poseidon
I hope on me you’re smilin’
I can not live another day
With this pain I’m feelin’
So please let me just have my way
Can’t you see that I am kneelin’
Poseidon
Poseidon
It’s on you waves, I’m ridin’
I know some way, there’ll come a day
I, with my love abidin’
Until that day, all I can say
I’m glad with me You’re sidin’
Poseidon
Poseidon
You’re the best of all the titans
Blooming Idiot in Pennsylvania
what we would want to do
plant flower seeds which we knew
that they grew and grew
Can you ever really imagine this?
Killer who was a small Shrimp;
There he is wearing a backpack.
Had become a killer natural born.
So dark while light reflected on face.
Seekers have been waiting for daylight.
Maybe he will pop up out of nowhere.
Need to put him back in prison again.
He violently stabbed woman to death.
Vengeance is mind sayeth the Lord.
Guy is blooming idiot and a lost cause
Need him like having big hole in head.
Maybe he should disappear into past,
No longer in our lives and existence.
We never needed him in first place;
Are many weird things in this world.
Page 7
We’ll build a wooden structure
With planks torn from our ships
And place it by their gates
Then we wait for the eclipse
Now I know you all have questions
About how I know these things
But I’ve studied all religions
Foreign Nations, Queens and Kings
Some kingdoms honor Bears
Some worship cats and eagles
Some lions, tigers, bears, “Oh My”
Foxes, wolfs and beagles
Now, these Trojans have one fondness
It stands upon four feet
It feeds upon the grassy plains
And they ride it down their streets
We will build it long and sleek
With a tail tacked to its end
And ears, upon its oblong head
But, with one thing more to send
There, concealed inside its belly
Are those who lie in wait
For the beast to be drawn inside
The Trojan’s massive gates
Page 8
So until the sun starts rising
You men must now embark
And assemble the device
While working in the dark
The others on the beach
A distraction will devise
To keep your labor secret
From those Trojan’s prying eyes
Now off with you, behind that mound
I have a party to attend
It’s not often I can have some fun
At the same time to offend
( Troy 1184 BC, The Beach Party )
The Flames of passion darted up
Into the evening air
It made the glittering of sand
Seamed like stars were everywhere
The drums had reached a beat
That made the young men, have to dance
And I’m sure it made The Trojans
Lose control and wet their pants
Page 9
While young men danced on burning sands
Displaying sex appeal
The Greeks would pause and strike a pose
And flex their buns of steel
The Trojans on the wall
Filled with heighten passion soon
Turned their backs and dropped the drawers
Displaying many moons
It seemed as if, we played all night
Now its time to take our chances
Bring forth the horse, and by due course
We all took second glances
The carpenters that worked all night
Had never seen the beast
It was a horrible interpretation
That is to say the least
I should have choose an artist
Much more suited for the task
For instead of building a mighty horse
There stood a giant ass.
No time to make corrections for
The dawn was growing near
We must move without detection
And crawl in through its rear
To be continued...................
Once there was a woman called Curry Mean “the Queen”
Her persuasive dialog “you shut up. I mean what I mean”
“It’s really mean to find the mean
of the extremes queen and Dean”
bloody “extreme idiot” is no fair word to accuse Curry Mean!
////”Curry Mean” is Sea fish to cook//////
Page 10
‘T wasn’t long before we nestled
In the belly of the beast
And we might not all have fit
If it wasn’t for some grease
Demetre was disturbed
By the prodding of a sword
So he said to Val discreetly
You’re not the only one who’s bored
There’s no time to horse around
Or for gaiety of sorts
Until we win this town
There’ll be no more water sports
I had to be very firm
For these men sure like to play
And focus on the reason
We were all crammed in this way
Achilles’ please stop shoving
There’s no room to give you more
And , Philo please wake up
For, I loath to hear you snore
The others on the beach
Have set sail, and left in mass
As I could see so very well
From a crack found in the ass
Page 11 You're Just Busting My Walls
Then just as we expected
The large Gates opened wide
And all those crazy Trojans
Came out, who were inside
Some looked upon my ass
With glee and adoration
While others sot to burn it down
Without investigation
Their highest Priest, now stepped forth
To speak the voice of reason
Don’t you see it is a "Horse"
A gift we should find pleasing
Still others shouted out, awful words
Not worth repeating
And our ass seem in some trouble
As their tempers started heating
It wasn’t long, till it began
The eclipse was right on time
It convinced the unbelievers
That my big ass was divine
They all bowed down to kiss it
It was a spectacle to see
And I’m glad I didn’t miss it
For it was, personal to me
Page 12
My men until this day
Claimed a tear, formed by my eye
And I quickly turned away
So they wouldn’t see me cry
But the moment didn’t last
As we found we were in motion
They tied ropes around my ass
And applied a slippery lotion
Now the wheels had proper grease
And the lines where taunt and tight
They started pulling on my ass
And were using all their might
We were really rolling now
As we headed for the gate
The men got so elated
That they hardly couldn’t wait
When we finally reached the gates
We had to stop a bit
Our structure was too tall
And this big ass, wouldn’t fit
But one of their members
A fricken genus, if I may
Said, lets tear down that portion
Of the wall that’s in the way
Now a word from the Author.
I hope all the readers are familiar
with, Homer's "lliad and the Odyssey"
From which this was inspired.
In addition to what you may remember
of Greek mythology, I would like to add
That the Greek God Aries, presumably
never took sides in war, he was content
to let men fight it out themselves, but
this time, was different, and here is his song....
ARES’S SONG
I was quite content
Never giving my consent
In any godly matter that occurred
Now some don’t think that’s right
Leaving humans left to fight
But to me, all this bickering absurd
I really hate to choose
Who should win and who should lose
But there’s one town that I thoroughly enjoy
I love Troy
I love Troy
I love every Mother’s son
And soldier boy
What a town, just look around
In a minute you’ll be dancing upside down
So much to eat, Oh what a treat
This city is on fire, feel its heat
If you’re going to live it boy
There’s no city like my Troy
I love Troy
I love Troy
I love Troy
Sure, I’m the God of War
But, I never felt this way before
So here, I’ll say it one more time
Though the Gods may stand divided
In my Heart I have decided
There’s no reason, that I should be playing coy
I love Troy!
Page 14
It took time to remove
The stones that formed the arch
That’s the place above the gates
Under which their armies marched
But we remained very quite
Observing through the cracks
Drinking bottled wine
And nibbling on some snacks
They finally cleared a way
And opened the gates wide
Then laid their hands upon the ropes
To pull our ass inside
There were times, I felt cunning
And times I felt amused
That men of such intellect
Could fall for such a ruse
But, be it as it may
My concern is only this
To burst out of this ass
And take a good long p**s
I know what you’re thinking
And I’d like to keep it clean
But as you know how stories go
I have to paint the scene
Page 15
When they got us in the city
There was music in the air
The Trojan started dancing
Food and drink were everywhere
There were pigs biting apples
Above the flames formed in a pit
With every sort of creature
They could skewer upon a spit
Oh, and wine flowed from fountains
And confections by the score
The soldiers ate and drank
Till they couldn’t feast , no more
Their priest stopped by at midnight
To bless our parting gift
And I christened it myself
If you kinda catch my drift
It was early morning hours
When the last ones fell to sleep
So we opened up the hatch
And we began to creep
Down a rope, we slid slowly
To the ground we made our way
To the gates that we must open
At last I’ll have the day
To be continued..............
Page 4
They do not move a muscle
Nor give unto their fears
But contemplate their carnage
Have you even not, one tear
Had I known you like I do now
You wicked callous beast
I never would have shown you
That my heart was in your reach
When the first drop of precious blood
Impacts upon this ground
I swear I’ll not forgive you
And by the Gods I’ll strike you down
But could we not turn, this tide
And you and I once more
Find the love sent from about
And do, as we adore
NO, cause you insist to make my wish
Lie broken on the floor
And wear a glove while touching love
Just like a filthy whore
Don’t think the Gods won’t notice
You’re defiled and you’re sick
By using love to hide behind
To pull this dirty trick
Page 5
Ah, to one trick there’s another
And I possess my share
Be patience and I’ll show you
What can happen to your lair
With cunning and with cruelty
My counsel will evoke
A very cunning plan
That would make Poseidon choke
I will converse, with Apollo
To have the sun replace the moon
So therefore catch a tan
If it’s possible, by noon
Then I’ll call on my Seamstress
To sew me something smart
With these hand made silver boots
This is Fashion’s off the charts
Of course all my solders
Will be dressed up in their best
Tunics will be optional
And so might the rest
We will decorate the beach
With a bonfire and some torches
So the enemy can watch
While they’re lounging on their porches
Page 6
Send a ship down to the tropics
I think seafood would be nice
And one up to the artic
To fetch all some ice
I know some Greek dancing songs
We’ll get the band to play
And I’ll maybe sing a solo
To melt, their hearts away
Cause no one, but no one
Puts a party on like me
And makes the end to every war
A spectacle to see
When things start dieing down
Very late at night
We all crawl to our ships
And we’ll put out the lights
We give them the impression
We’re all drunk and going home
This should make them feel relieved
That we’re leaving them alone
But that is when we pull
The oldest trick, found in the book
With a sinister contraption
This deception’s off the hook
To Be Continued.................