Best Humourous Poems

Dave made a comment about his cowboy boots so I simply had to weave this joke into a little narrative

An elderly couple moved to Texas and the old man had always wanted some cowboy boots
Guess he dreamed of being a cowboy and getting involved in...

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BEARDED LADY

Sue woke and looked terribly weird 
She’d sprouted a black bushy beard 
To get rid of this look
Should she wax or just pluck
Would the re-growth be worse than feared?

Sue tweeted her best friend called Mary
(Sue knew that HER nipples were hairy)
She said try using...

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Would it be considered nefarious
If I call my poems ‘hilarious’
Our humour is subjective …
I write from MY perspective 
It’s a trait of my sign Aquarius!


I have never categorised any of my poems as ‘hilarious’ as what I consider is  humourous is a matter of...

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The mystery of ‘the hole’,
is that it has no mass at all.
A thing that only can exist
through nothingness - that’s the twist!

A hole can be of any size,
yet of nothing does it comprise.
Nothing has no size at all,
no matter how big or small.

So what conclusion...

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Dancing the Dixie Dough Ray Dew
Left foot danced faster than her Shoe
She kicked it off and it really flew,

Disqualified now and so angry too!
Got so mad she had the loudest boo-hoo
Never again danced the Dixie Dough Ray Dew

Left the dance hall in the form of...

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Proud pirate flag, peacock, pumpernickel pie,
Perfumed prairie pinwheels, paper two-ply.
Happy hanging homebody having healthy hi.
Heaving hitting heartfelt Harry hopping high.

Ballooning blissful blossoms beaconing blue Babe,
Luxurious lumberjack licking lemonade.
Merry mashing marshmallows mysteriously made.
Fine frolicking French frankfurters fearful and afraid.

It is fun to throw some alliteration into...

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Keep life simple:
Wag your tail, knock everything off the table
Chase anything that runs
Always stop to pee on the roses
Be fiercely loyal to the ones you love
Forgive morons quickly
Don't growl or bite, keep your dignity 
Nap often as possible, eat with ridiculous gusto
Greet each day with...

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One Merry Christmas Or Another

Will this Christmastime be the best one you’ve had?
Will it be a joy and Feliz Navidad?
Will it be an endurance of familial hell,
Or peace and goodwill and a Joyeux Noël?

Is visiting kinfolk at Yuletide quite risky,
Or thrilling and Felicem Natalem Christi?
Are...

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