Best Housewife Poems
A desperate housewife I knew
had such mundane housework to do.
Being so tired of it,
she decided to quit.
Then off to Las Vegas she flew.
Having always been such a lithe girl,
she thought “I’ll give dancing a whirl!”
Her audition went well.
From a large oyster shell
She emerged, so they all dubbed her Pearl.
Her skin, soft and fair, shone like dew
as she smiled with eyes crystal blue.
All the men threw her money
as her voice, sweet as honey,
called out, “Let me entertain you!”
As Pearl danced each night, looking pretty,
Her husband, back in her home city,
was fit to be tied,
thinking maybe she’d died!
Poor fool didn’t have a clue, did he!
Unbeknownst to sweet Pearl, her “dear” spouse
had been sneaking off as she’d played house.
To conventions he’d said
he was going. Instead,
he’d been gambling in Vegas, that louse!
Off to strip clubs he’d gone every chance
that he got. How he loved to see dance
naked women all sizes
in sexy disguises
while his wife at home longed for romance.
Now the tables were very much turned.
And her husband was feeling quite spurned.
He would sleep restlessly
thinking where could she be!!
But her whereabouts he never learned.
No longer could he run away
on a whim. He still had bills to pay.
That cleaning and cooking
meant no time for looking
at girls! He had less time to play.
In Vegas, his wife had come far.
In fact, she was a superstar.
Wearing naught but a fan,
she’d entice every man,
then drive home in a pearl-colored car!
Her spouse lost his job. The years fled.
His wife he then had declared dead.
But with no job in sight,
he’d stay home each night,
with loneliness causing him dread.
Do you think this guy ever has let
his conscience feel any regret
that his wife did so much
while he gambled and such?
Has he learned anything at all yet?
Did he marry and get a new bride?
Did Pearl go and change her sweet ride
to a sleek red Corvette,
and did SHE marry yet?
I leave it to YOU to decide!
Written June 2016 for the Desperate Housewife Contest of PD
Categories:
housewife, adventure, wife,
Form:
Limerick
By day she goes about
the weary business of her dreary life:
a housekeeper, bookkeeper, shopper, chef,
chauffer for two active teens, and
hostess of her husband’s dinner parties
is she.
In the middle of her day
she naps,
for in the night. . .
when her work-obsessed spouse
soundly slumbers
and the kids at last are fast asleep,
she goes into the darkness
of the woods
behind her house.
The mask of this woman
falls without a sound
to the leaf strewn ground.
She raises her face to the moon.
In its light, the stripes
of a tigress are revealed!
Her legs feel strong and limber.
That ferocious appetite
for something that she stifles
flees away
as
she
runs.
Among the pines and midst the sounds
of the woodland’s crepuscular creatures
she runs and runs and runs.
She is running after something
she cannot put a name to.
She’s a good woman.
She would never use a bar or night club
as her jungle.
Now - with her tigress face -
swift, stealthy, and strong -
but above all,
not beholden to any body
she is simply free to be.
After an hour of running,
the mask of the housewife
is restored.
Then she collapses, exhausted on her bed,
where she dreams refreshing dreams -
which are necessary -
for tomorrow
she begins again
the weary business
of her dreary life.
10/26/2014; Now used for Skat's A poem you are proud of #3 Poetry Contest
Categories:
housewife, wife,
Form:
Free verse
“The
children
are always
interrupting.
You never have time
for me,” her husband whined
as he dropped his dirty clothes
right there on the floor by the bed.
Trying not to roll her eyes, she gave
this quick response to her disgruntled spouse:
“The kids, chores and mishaps have me spinning,
and you tell me you feel rejected.
To have a blissful home takes two.
Consideration is key.
I’m also missing you!
To be successful
in our bed, take
time OUT of
it. . . for
ME!”
A Double Etheree written May 27, 2012
for David Williams'
The Three H's Poetry Contest
Categories:
housewife, wife, work, me,
Form:
Etheree
He walks into the room each day at six
As around their Dad all five children mix
He smiles at them with glee
Meantime he sneers at me
So I get prepared to take all his licks
“What have you been doing all day?” he asks
No appreciation for all my tasks
“Washed clothes and changed diapers
Don’t need any gripers”
This insensitive father wears two masks
Each morning his breakfast is served on time
Later, vodka collins are served with lime
He never shops for food
Says my cooking’s no good
And when he bathes, the tub is filled with grime
My Mom said, “Men just work from sun to sun,
But a woman’s housework is never done”
I found a new game plan
A hearty, handsome man
Together, my husband we could outrun
May 25, 2012
*Entry for David’s 3 H contest
Categories:
housewife, funny, husband,
Form:
Limerick
the housewife looks out
stained window, sees herb garden....
soul journeys through pane
Written: November 10, 2020
Categories:
housewife, age, health, heartbreak,
Form:
Senryu
Fourth in the Mother's Day Poetry Contest
The woman married at a young age
to the eldest son of a farmer-
my maternal uncle and neighbor.
Usually, she woke up early at the crow's caw
and swept the dirt floor of the house with a broom
often wiping it with water and a nura ( wet cloth )
After that she took a bath, changed her clothes
and wiped with water the surface before the holy Basil(Tulsi)
in the middle of the courtyard
as well as the surfaces at the portico and inside the house
where the family Deities traditionally reside.
After these tasks, she prayed the Deities and holy Basil
while burning mekruk(,an incense).
The prayer was once again repeated at dusk
lighting a lantern or candle.
As a routine she grinding,hand-pounding
and flapping paddy,(sometimes cutting firewood)
alone or with a sister- in -law,
cooking food( burning firewood) and serving the family members,
cleaning the kitchen and utensils after the food served.
After these she washed clothes for the family members.
And in the afternoon she wove clothes
at the fly scuttle loom in the outhouse.
Besides, she helped the neighbours in times of need.
She treated her father-in-law and mother-in-law with devotion,
regarded her husband's younger siblings
as if they were her own children.
Many children were born to her
but, she died prematurely at the age of seventy.
After her death I sometimes remember her
as one of the symbols of traditional housewives
of the old past .
.
Categories:
housewife, 1st grade, woman,
Form:
Free verse
I used to be a boss in the cut-throat business world
Until the day I woke and everything I ate I hurled
My belly grew, my energy shrank, so I "simplified" my life
Added two sons, lost bladder control, now I'm a desperate housewife!
It seemed so easy at the time, no tedious nine to five
Cook some meals, clean the house, keep the dears alive
How could I know each'd come out cutting his own cord with a knife?
One look at their red, glowing eyes and I'm a desperate housewife.
I begged my husband to go and have a simple snippy-snip
Did he see the way those spawn of hell caused my flesh to rip?
"C'mon you baby! Get them cut! Just do it for your wife!"
As he fell unconscious to the floor, Crap! I'm a desperate housewife!
I attended groups for house-bound moms hoping for relief
Instead they heard I don't breast feed and gave me lots of grief!
"Cloth diapers and organic foods, extend our planet's life."
Chugged my "water" half filled with gin, 'cuz I'm a desperate housewife!
My story has a happy end, as most such tales you'll hear
I started my own Mommy's group, dues cigarettes and beer.
And when we meet I forget the stress with which my day is rife
And for a night I feel like I'm no more a desperate housewife!
6/11/2016
Categories:
housewife, children, funny, humor, mother,
Form:
Rhyme
The morning paper is everywhere, the breakfast dishes, are here and there
Her feet up in the easy chair, the old man in his underwear
The phone starts ringing loud and clear, so hubby quickly disappears
When he returns, she sees a frown,…, He calmly says, “Guess who’s in town?”
“The corporate boss, not far away….I've asked them here to spend the day!”
“A little lunch would be no trouble. He’s with his wife…her name is Mable”
“You did what???? she screams. (The neighbors hear!)
"Company?? ... You say they're near?”
“Help me quick. Get off your rear!!”
"Oh dear,.... oh dear, ......oh dear) !!
"Get off your rear, you lazy man! And if you don't .....I SWEAR!"
She frets and stews and carries on….her hubby simply mutters
She runs around the messy room and stashes all the clutter
She’s acting like a headless chicken, her partner in a quandary
He watches as she runs around, hiding dirty laundry
Oh dear, they’ll need some lunch to nibble, whatever could she fix?
She finds some fruit, some crackers, cheese, a bag of party mix
Running to the bedroom, she’s gasping raves and rants
“You’ve got to get your shirt on!…For Pete’s sake, dear! Find your pants!”
“Heaven’s, we must hurry! We’ve got to make the bed!”
"Whatever you say, dear" he grumbles, and shakes his bewildered head
She discards her frumpy nightgown, powders her frantic frown
She quickly brushes hair, a dab of lipstick too
Tosses sloppy slippers, dons her pretty shoes
A knocking on the door, she pastes a cheery smile
Her unexpected company has come to stay awhile!
Breathing deep, she goes to greet them “So good of you to call!”
“What’s that.....a bother?” “ Now don’t be silly, you aren’t bothering us at all!”
She shoots a glance, a daggered lance, into her husband’s mug
He has no clue, ignores what brews…a deep, dark hole he's dug
For, once again, he’s lost his head…and says
….”Stay the night, it's quite all right, we have an extra bed!!”
She fakes a smile, and says "OF course!!".........
(but tomorrow he’ll be DEAD!!!)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Categories:
housewife, angst, funny, husband, wife,
Form:
Rhyme
The poor housewife
He steals her chickens
The township tsotsi
Tsotsi: a thug
Categories:
housewife, best friend,
Form:
Haiku
Love her lingerie
as she moves in towards me
pleads fasten my bra
© Harry J Horsman 2016
Categories:
housewife, anxiety,
Form:
Senryu
The music thumps, the walls jump
She pole dances against the jamb
Dust rag in her right
Polish in her left hand
House is hers for a few hours
To fulfill a fantasy
Bump and grind it babe
The vacumn whiiiirrrs away
Shake that booty, strut that stuff
Transfer clothes in washer to dryer
Wearing faded blue jeans
Kick that leg up higher
Beds are made, bunnies dusted
She cat walks looking demure
Practises a sultry pout
Wiping spots from the mirror
Work the shoulders, drop to a deep squat
Then stick the tush up in the air
Family is due home very soon
Straighten her clothing with care
Greet the kids with hugs, husband with kisses
Getting dinner to the table
While news plays in the background
Her life is happy, solid and stable
Dishes washed, kids off to sleep
Taking my husband by the hand
This housewife leads him to our room
Where her stripper soul takes command
Categories:
housewife, adventure, anniversary, fantasy, funny,
Form:
Light Verse
I sit here looking out at the street
As I have my cup of coffee with cream
I see a woman walking in the heat
Who would be many teenagers' dream
I know that she is not true
To the man she has married
He doesn't have a single clue
Of the baby which is carried
No the child is not mine
But it belongs to my friend
They both had too much wine
Before the night did end
He is scared of being shot
By her husband's shotgun
It's his fault she got hot
Because he wanted some fun
And because she was a desperate housewife
My friend is now on the run for his life
Categories:
housewife, conflict, desire, fear, imagery,
Form:
Sonnet
I must have left the window up
For a creature came inside.
She was bright and beautiful, with ornate wings;
You would never believe your eyes.
"What are you doing here, little thing?
The meadow is your home.
You are much too stunning, lovely, wonderful,
To be in the dreary dome.
But you might just be the perfect thing
To give this house some light."
So I fetched a jar of transparent glass,
And lured her in without a fight.
She flapped and fluttered in her crystal lodge,
Inducing the cat to the table.
I then moved her up to a safer place
Where she was seen but not obtainable.
This should keep the critter safe;
Secure and snug in her own bubble.
No dangers shall she ever face:
No killers, no storms, no trouble.
A week had passed with my radiant guest
Though I hadn't much observed it.
I was far too busy tending other things
To notice every flit.
Then one day while knitting it was grimly silent,
And staleness filled my mug.
I sat 'til I finished my husband's sweater
Then got up to check the bug.
How long was she like this? I gasped,
As I cringed with utter disgust.
Nothing was left of her but folded wings,
For her body had turned to dust.
Categories:
housewife, abuse, death, gender, house,
Form:
Rhyme
50’s housewife on kink
I like to please, always have
you need something, already in the car, your favorite dish- surprise it’s made
delicious, nutritious , satisfying
catering to all whims
don’t get up, i’ll get you another drink daddy
it’s so natural
saw it in my grandmother and mom, catering to men’s wishes remaining on task
putting others first as you lag behind only to realize that you are under appreciated
when you stumble on the right one you realize their love for you is overwhelming
so I choose this part of me, fulfills me
truly who I am
i know your thinking how can she love herself submitting to another
submission it’s so taboo, so deviant, conjures up images of cruelty, worthlessness
nothing could be farther from the truth
yes, good jewish girls were not taught to behave this way, walking around in heels completely naked as they clean the house
crinolines off as well as separate beds
what most people don’t know is that submission is a precious commodity- if it was available on the stock market it would out pure gold
why?
it’s a gift to one who earns it
connections so strong the desire to please in anyway is a joy
i am a 50’s house wife on kink
never felt this calm
Categories:
housewife, art, change, culture, myth,
Form:
Nobody has never expected
Anything great from Mrs Kerr
The wife`s obligation was to make sure
That her family was safe and secure
She wad thinking about everyone
But they were rarely thinking about her
She was so gentle, kind and pure
The mother`s task was to comfort and cure
Now, her children and husband are gone
She is left all alone
The flowers on the tree of her life
Are no longer rife
And sometimes she thinks
That with her big heart and great mind
She could have done something great
But it is too late
Yes, it is too late
Categories:
housewife, introspection,
Form:
Rhyme