Desperate Housewife
I used to be a boss in the cut-throat business world
Until the day I woke and everything I ate I hurled
My belly grew, my energy shrank, so I "simplified" my life
Added two sons, lost bladder control, now I'm a desperate housewife!
It seemed so easy at the time, no tedious nine to five
Cook some meals, clean the house, keep the dears alive
How could I know each'd come out cutting his own cord with a knife?
One look at their red, glowing eyes and I'm a desperate housewife.
I begged my husband to go and have a simple snippy-snip
Did he see the way those spawn of hell caused my flesh to rip?
"C'mon you baby! Get them cut! Just do it for your wife!"
As he fell unconscious to the floor, Crap! I'm a desperate housewife!
I attended groups for house-bound moms hoping for relief
Instead they heard I don't breast feed and gave me lots of grief!
"Cloth diapers and organic foods, extend our planet's life."
Chugged my "water" half filled with gin, 'cuz I'm a desperate housewife!
My story has a happy end, as most such tales you'll hear
I started my own Mommy's group, dues cigarettes and beer.
And when we meet I forget the stress with which my day is rife
And for a night I feel like I'm no more a desperate housewife!
6/11/2016
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