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A Desperate Housewife - in limerick form

Listen to poem:
A desperate housewife I knew
had such mundane housework to do.
Being so tired of it,
she decided to quit.
Then off to Las Vegas she flew.

Having always been such a lithe girl,
she thought “I’ll give dancing a whirl!”
Her audition went well.
From a large oyster shell
She emerged, so they all dubbed her Pearl.

Her skin, soft and fair, shone like dew
as she smiled with eyes crystal blue.
All the men threw her money
as her voice, sweet as honey,
called out, “Let me entertain you!”

As Pearl danced each night, looking pretty,
Her husband, back in her home city,
was fit to be tied,
thinking maybe she’d died!
Poor fool didn’t have a clue, did he!

Unbeknownst to sweet Pearl, her “dear” spouse
had been sneaking off as she’d played house.
To conventions he’d said
he was going. Instead,
he’d been gambling in Vegas, that louse!

Off to strip clubs he’d gone every chance
that he got. How he loved to see dance
naked women all sizes 
in sexy disguises
while his wife at home longed for romance.

Now the tables were very much turned.
And her husband was feeling quite spurned.
He would sleep restlessly
thinking where could she be!!
But her whereabouts he never learned.

No longer could he run away
on a whim. He still had bills to pay.
That cleaning and cooking
meant no time for looking
at girls! He had less time to play.

In Vegas, his wife had come far.
In fact, she was a superstar.
Wearing naught but a fan,
she’d entice every man,
then drive home in a pearl-colored car!

Her spouse lost his job. The years fled.
His wife he then had declared dead.
But with no job in sight,
he’d stay home each night,
with loneliness causing him dread.

Do you think this guy ever has let
his conscience feel any regret
that his wife did so much
while he gambled and such?
Has he learned anything at all yet?

Did he marry and get a new bride?
Did Pearl go and change her sweet ride
to a sleek red Corvette,
and did SHE marry yet?
I leave it to YOU to decide!

Written June 2016 for the Desperate Housewife Contest of PD

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016

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Date: 4/15/2018 2:14:00 PM
A hilarious darling chain of limericks, Andrea. Superbly done. Love it.
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Date: 1/1/2017 11:30:00 PM
I just saw that you recorded this winning gem Andrea. It is a limericks master piece! Loved hearing you read it Andrea. You are excellent at writing these. Brava! 7 ; ) I believe this is in my faves already.
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Date: 11/19/2016 1:49:00 PM
Wow! Never seen a limerick given such lavish treatment, Andrea. Well worth the payoff. Great poem and creativity. Much love to you, lady.
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Date: 10/6/2016 9:35:00 PM
Very good, and great when you can hear the poet read it! Limericks are fun, and this was a joy to listen and read along with. Very good Job...I smiled all the way through! MC
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Date: 8/18/2016 7:08:00 PM
Thought I'd visit this one to hear your voice!...Love it!...both your voice and the cute limerick where the woman comes out on least that's what I decided!
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Date: 8/18/2016 2:00:00 PM
Love you limericks--such a breath of fresh air! Thanks!
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Date: 7/14/2016 6:21:00 PM
I really enjoyed this spectacular write. Thanks for sharing.
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Date: 7/13/2016 2:27:00 PM
Congrats on appearing among the most popular poets....I surely can't regret this.
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Date: 7/10/2016 11:27:00 AM
Ha, just awesome..skat
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Date: 7/7/2016 6:20:00 PM
Andrea: No one can read it like them that writes it. That was wonderful. I'll not spend too much time wondering. I'd rather spend that time with my wife. :o) oldbuck
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Date: 7/4/2016 11:33:00 AM
Revisiting to congratulate you, congratulation my lovely smiling friend on your top placement. Loved always, bl
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Date: 7/4/2016 8:07:00 AM
Congrats Andrea, for your top placement with this wonderful piece!! ;-)
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Date: 7/3/2016 9:31:00 AM
Congratulations on your win, Andrea. This is the funniest and longest Limerick I have ever read! I have enjoyed reading it and it goes straight to my favorites. Have a Happy Fourth of July. Hugs, Andrew.
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Date: 7/3/2016 8:08:00 AM
This is fun Andrea! Congratulations.
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Date: 7/3/2016 7:30:00 AM
I'm back to give my congrats! I am so pleased to see this in the top three! I listened in delight to hear this again. Your voice is so pleasing. Cheers! 7 ; )
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Date: 7/3/2016 7:04:00 AM
This is great...interesting! Congrats on your win :)
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Date: 7/2/2016 11:48:00 PM
Andrea,, Congratulations on your Desperate House Wife WIN. I thank you for writing for my contest. Stop by my latest blog "UNION OF DISGUISING FACES "HZ1" blog #2." if you'd like. Always & Forever ~LINDA~
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Date: 7/2/2016 11:47:00 PM
Andrea, I triple thank you for this one... AWESOME... thank you, thank you and thank you... LOL... DID you know, I was enjoying the sound of your voice while judging all the poems under yours. :) Hugs to you my lovely friend. LINDA
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Date: 6/27/2016 6:54:00 PM
loved hearing your voice,and I 'm going to visit more often.This one went speeding toward a sad but just reward. Good job Andrea.
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Date: 6/24/2016 5:25:00 AM
Very well crafted and lovely audio to read along to. It's always a great pleasure reading from you. Always, Laura
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Date: 6/22/2016 6:44:00 PM
I could listen to more and more Andrea. Just a lovely story in a lovely format.
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Date: 6/21/2016 8:26:00 AM
I love this humorous take on a housewife. I just don't know how you can create limerick after limerick and form a story with them. Well done. Loved listening to you read it also.
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Date: 6/20/2016 10:45:00 AM
Very sad excellently expressed. Good luck in the contest my lovely smiling friend. A 7. Loved always, blk
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Date: 6/19/2016 2:53:00 PM
Cute one..Reads like a winner..Best of the run away club yet..Thanks for the visit to my page..Sara
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Date: 6/18/2016 8:54:00 PM
this such a terrific story, can I please join Pearl in her new life..... Good luck in the contest. Hugs Eve
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