Best Hood Poems
Little Red left karate class with a grin,
her black belt tied tight below her chin;
the trail smelled of pine,
the sunlight a shine~
when the wolf slunk out wearing a grin.
He circled with swagger and show,
his growl pitched theatrically low;
but Red only sighed,
her patience denied~
she’d seen fiercer foes long ago.
She tossed off her hood with a flare,
revealing bright colors that made everyone stare;
a super-girl suit,
cape fluttering cute~
the wolf froze mid-step in mid-air.
He lunged with a howl and a boast
but Red moved like wind through a ghost;
she flipped him around,
then pinned him to ground~
his ego deflated the most.
He tumbled through mushrooms and leaves,
his pride snagged on branches and eaves;
the squirrels looked down,
the jays laughed aloud~
his ego and dignity lost to the trees.
He whimpered and staggered away,
his bravado gone fully astray;
the birds in the trees
chuckled on the breeze~
his pride in complete disarray.
At Grandma’s, Red knocked on the door,
glowing from triumphant Karate encore;
no woodsman required,
no rescue desired~
Big bad wolf will bother us no more.
And the wolf, with his tail hanging low,
decided it best to never again show;
for legends now spread
how Big Red said~
“I’m a superhero hero, just so you know.”
The New "Robbin'" Hood
This guy I describe can have many names.
He’s greedy and mean and likes to play games.
I’ll just call him Robbin’ with double-b,
for he is robbin’ from you and from me.
It’s possible he is from a real hood.
A gangster he’d be then, up to no good.
Oh yes, Robbin’ Hood (a fitting name, that),
who hooks kids on drugs. A scumbag, a rat!
A politician Sir “Hood” could be too,
who’s secretly robbin’ from me and from you.
Some rich CEO who plays on his yacht
with money which from the public he got.
He robs from the poor and gives to the rich.
Yes, he is the worst, that son of a *****.
The new Robbin’ Hood who dirties this earth
will find when he dies just what his soul’s worth.
Written Feb. 12, 2016 for
the twisted poem about Robin Hood Poetry Contest of CT
‘Come bring my bow of English yew and raise me from this bed
And let me look upon the wood where once I lay my head’
With fading sight and wearied limb through window rose he gazed
With summoned strength and trembling arm his mighty bow was raised
Sinews drawn to fullest test he let the arrow fly
And sinking back upon his bed he breathed a heavy sigh
‘Follow yonder willow shaft through forests darkened keep
For flighted by the angels, twill appoint where I shall sleep’
The stalwart oak tree caught the shaft, appointed by Gods grace
Beside a brook, in bluebell’d wood, there marked his resting place
In tunic Gold and Lincoln green, his sword upon his breast
Beneath the trees of Sherwood green was Robyn laid to rest
That mighty heart, its labour done, when stilled its Valliant quest
All England mourned its stalwart son who bore the Locksley crest
And through the silent forest, soft April showers wept
To wash that place from hearts and minds, a secret ever kept
One maid, one Friar, with little John, in sombre vigil stood
In silent witness mourning, the passing of the Hood
On England’s green and pleasant land was played a Hero’s part
And Never more on sceptre’d isle will beat a truer heart
Once there was a girl, little hood,
She was a fine mamma, looking good.
Hood decided to take a walk
Didn’t see the wolf watching her like a hawk.
Mesmerised by her swinging ass
He trailed behind watching her sway with class
He said “I gotta have a piece of hood,”
“That ass is juicy and good for food.”
Suddenly he stopped with a frightful stare
Across from her was mamma, papa and baby bear.
The notorious trio who did goldilocks
Just down the road about three blocks
Wolf said “I’m not gonna stand for this.”
The Wolf now was getting pissed.
He draws his ooze and colt 44
Rat a tat tat mama , papa and baby no more.
Smoke clears and he sees hoods’ on the floor
“F--k!” he screams “I killed my wh-re.”
She stirs and looks at him with a smile,
Hood says “Bad boy tonight you get to do d--gystyle.”
Adventures of Robin Hood and his Merry Men.
No1.
Robin’s Thick Member
We wuz out huntin that day
Ah remembers as plain as can be
When a ansome buck came us way
Fust to shoot was me mate Unlucky
Now that buck he just looked in us faces
With an air of his royal decree
Displayin his arrogunt graces
At the arra there stuck in the tree
Ah says, “Robin, he won’t be best pleased
At missin his dinner agen
Your damn good at arrain trees
An pissin off his merry men”
If we goes back to camp with no meal
That maid, she will giv us sum stick
She’ll shove us sum manky old veal
An the merry men will all be sick”
Then Unlucky he says that he saw
Over there be-ind the rockery
A big ol boy of a boar
But his arra, yes, it foun a tree
Stood Marion with expectation
The night would be one great party
But after me grand explanation
We was whipped a foot up from the knee
Then Robin “Unlucky”, he says
“You’s a poor shot as all us can see
If that buck agen inter view strays
Just bloomin well aims fer the tree.
Coz averages seem to dictate
You could bag that buck if you tried
If only you’d concentrate
An wern’t so bloody cross eyed”
So Unlucky he thinks to his sen
I’ll show them a thing or two
That big head an his stinky men
Will be dinin on best red deer stew
Once more he foun his sen afore
That deer who was showin no fear
He watched as his arra did soar
Past that grinnin bucks twitchin left ear
But wait, that buck he was down
His hooves in the air on his back
The arra that just missed his crown
Had given him sheer heart attack
He was cheered when he got back to camp
An the night became one great party
With a bow he was proclaimed a champ
An no longer known as Unlucky.
Little Red Riding Hood went into the woods
Little Red Riding Hood
left for nearby Pine Wood
to meet her Dear Grand mom
whom she loves from her bosom.
Little angel, little fairy wore red dress.
Pet Micky Mouse put red hat to impress.
Quack duck put on red shoes on webbed feet.
Three were out for Grandmother to meet.
On her way she met a wolf in white dress
wearing woolly shoes with white lace.
Wonderful wolf named Wow-Wow
nodded its head and made bow.
Wolf was driving an old vintage car
shown in a movie that won prize Oscar.
Wow-Wow said ‘Wait just a minute.
I can give all of you a quick lift.’
So she boarded the car with each pet.
Wow-Wow drove car to the gate
of the wood house of Grandmother
waiting eagerly for her Granddaughter.
Grandma wore white blouse with red border
on red skirt with prints of white flower.
She sat on soft red sofa cum bed.
Her socks were white and shoes red.
Micky played guitar, Quack nicely sang.
White balloons, red ribbons Wow-Wow hang.
Wow-Wow became friend so helpful.
Wild wolf can also be wonderful.
Little fairy, little angel is my Granddaughter
She plays with toy pets and is busy to chatter.
I meet her on Skype every Sunday
My little Red Riding Hood jubilant and gay.
02/05/16
Once Upon a Time Poetry Contest Third Place
Sponsor Laura Loo
Third Place
'Into The Woods
' Contest by Silent One.
two sneakers frayed jeans sweatshirt with hood
thrown overnight on the floor
waiting lazily just for
another chance at glory
and story
time fame
A young fellow in our neighborhood
ran around claiming, “I’m Robin Hood.
When we rob from the rich,
our positions we’ll switch.”
Well, of course, he was up to no good.
Some delinquents soon followed his lead.
They were merry men. Merry indeed!
After each nightly raid,
in the camp they had made,
they’d get high on their exploits and weed!
Jan. 30, 2019 for Joseph May's Limerick 3 Poetry Contest
When Robin Hood hides in our wood
I shall not turn him out
I'll let his merry gentlemen
Hang all their bows about.
So when a swaggering M.P.
Comes riding by alone
The arrows of the hidden host
Will ring against the stones.
The horse rears up,the man looks round
To see what's caused the stir
And what he sees amidst the trees
Is green men everywhere
Let him complain to Sheriffs all.
The green men will be gone.
When soldiers come to hunt them out
They've vanished every one.
The forests of England are the home
Of rabbit,deer and game.
The green men live their natural life
And we should do the same.
let us all take to the greenwood life
And feel the strength of trees
They do not change at every poll,
Nor do just what they please.
In Nature all is linked to one
And one to all extends.
If we could change our cut throat ways
Maybe all could be friends.
The hearts and souls of all of us,
Form a great human wood.
So let the love we feel be shared,
And heard for the common good.
If everyone is given their place
Then Robin could go home
His men would not be in my wood,
And M.P.'s could safely roam.
Let us all sing,"Robin for King,"
"We all want Robin Hood."
"He took the money from the rich
To be spent for the common good.
An archer from Sherwood made shooting an art
Persuaded the wealthy from surplus to part.
He fell for a maid at first sight
But fearing to tell her outright
Enlisted friend Eros to capture her heart.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Limerick 3 Contest
Hosted by Joseph May
© 31st January 2019
Robin Hood and merry men took great delights
In protection of the peasants and their rights
But what really gave them pleasure
And which emphasised their measure
Was cavorting through the forest wearing tights
31 January 2019
piercing opposition
female mutilation
adorningly so
***
If I had to choose Robin Hood, Robinson Crusoe or Peter Pan?
Hmm……
What a quandary.
What a plight.
I truly do not think I can.
I will never grow up, so I have the Peter Pan part down, furiously.
I have always yearned for my own island, and a giant tree house, curiously.
Wouldn’t I love to steal from the rich who have already stolen from the poor?
This choice cannot be done. I need a part of all of them, forever more.
The woods hissed and sn*ggered but weren't without their charms
A ghostly silloette in the distance like a girl without her arms
A floating figure, lifted as if hung down from yarn, puppet like
Blocked out some light as the moon rose into sudden night
A puddle, suprized by the kick of life it was given
Dived over the crimson clothing of a passer by
Not batting an eye the shadow glides an leaps in wind
Approaching a tree supporting a corpse beneath its limbs
The breeze's secretive so it seems the bodies breathin' sings
Arrived. A cloak hides its features, a bag opens, it reaches in
Still speachless in the shower, yet no wet words to greet us
Though now a mouths visible behind work of an expert seemstress
Wild weather beats the woodland creatures deep undercover
All but two inhabitants, the hooded one.. & one other
Our second stood, furred thickly, big teeth in a brown jaw
Having difficulty reading, vision blurred by the downpour
Lit by light the town brought, a poster was just clear enough
''Assassin Wanted! If you catch the killer, fear you should
For finding this foe will bring, not tears, but blood
And a reward of 10 g's for anyone, police.. even Robin Hood'
The final statement sent shivers up his spine, an how then?
The King hated Robin, and the Queen signed the announcement
Heart poundin' at the thought of ten big ones he couldn't wait for
The character reread the paper, rapid fast.. just to make sure
Sure enough the word was good, but the woods weren't silent
A twig broke, someone close quitely worked beside him
The tree sustaining the message had been blocking them from view
The otherside was a hooded person, white stockings an gloves on too
The hood moved......and the disguise unravelled
It was Red Riding Hood picking mushrooms the size of apples
In my head is a little green monster who wants to put me down.
He has a pointed purple tail, and he wears an angry frown.
He says such mean things to me, he used to keep me mad and sad.
Now when he starts up, I barely hear him, and this is rather rad.
He used to call me loser, tell me I was not so good.
He used to put down my choices, and called me mean words like “a hood”.
He used to tell me I would always come in last in every kind of race.
I heard him in my cocoa, my math class, and every other place.
He was an uninvited monster, and he ruled me long and hard.
He was aggressive, and mean, made my life feel like a chard.
I stopped listening to him, when I became a baby child’s mother.
I knew I had to throw him out, so I did, in which way and another.
He kept creeping back into my mind, whispering stupid, mean stuff.
I had to get vicious with him; I threw him out, and frankly, I was tough.
Finally, I told him he could stay, but only if he was willing to change.
Now he is my advocate, and my friend, for we are both deranged.