Best Hockey Puck Poems

Warning, if you are under 60 you may not "get" some of these.

Mohammad Ali
taunting with poetry,
his opponents he'd zing
as he danced 'bout the ring.

Graham Kerr "The Galloping Gourmet"
oft with our minds he would play.
Why else would he pick
the dessert "Spotted Dick"?

Ichabod Crane
rode down rode down...

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Lecherous Luther was wont to grope
He ceased to function at the end of a rope!

Here lies Cletus as stiff as a board
He slipped on the ice and busted his gourd!

Here rests our dear Ruby who failed to duck
She was beaned on her noggin by a...

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I've got enough paper to build a new tree
maybe i can get some kind of reward
I'm doing it all to make you happy
And maybe this will move things foward
Seeing as the drawer is stuck
And I'm being pushed around like a hockey puck 
I see no...

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You see there's a nice man.
He's Mister Ice Man.
And Mister Ice Man.
Skates on a hockey team.

Mister Ice man.
Hockey stick in hand.
And Mister Ice Man.
Do the best you can.

Just slap that hockey puck.
Show your golden luck.
Your hockey team.
They're always on the scene.
Your hockey team.
They're skating in...

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Team players shake hands good luck
Shoot scores the hockey puck
The soccer player kicks the ball 
The sky diver takes the fall 
The football player must run fast
All winners first or last
A little white ball and a tee
A game of golf or maybe rugby
The skater twirls...

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To the most ardent fans, this year has been hell.
There are plenty of idle hockey rinks throughout the NHL.
With season ticket holders, this has not been nice.
They want to see their favorite players roughhousing on the ice.
The team owners have been staging a lockout.
Will there...

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There I was, a lonely soul, lollin' on a Bermuda beach soakin' up the sun,
Where the sand is pink and the rum swizzles will never be outdone!
Where college goils from New Joisey and New Yawk flock to each Easter,
To frolic on the beaches, find romance...

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Clyde O'Toole suffered a heap of bad luck

   He was beaned with a wayward hockey puck

      He was heard to swear

         As it creased his hair

    ...

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Smiling recollections,
summer evening reflections, now
almost gone for new generations
while my venues of childhood musings
and adolescent anticipations
...near extinction.
I must concede my willingness to share
what they will never recall
     - the exhilaration 
when Dad would pronounce,
"We're going to the drive-in tonight".
A creature double...

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having grown up with a smoker for a father
i have most certainly inhaled my fair share of second-hand
so i never fell for the allure of big tobacco & the
kool kids
still, there have been parts in my life where i have found myself
chewing---
i must admit,
large quantities...

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'Yelp's' a lark, (truth indeed?), maybe servant of greed?
You want 'natural' ratings? Please your advice heed!
Now your model for earning seems blackmail at best,
You pollute client's site with competitor's ad,
Which you'll clear if we pay (proof intentions are bad),
Even Satan can see that Yelp fails...

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Of all the foods in all the lands of culinary charm
     There is but one offender my taste buds can’t disarm
While others may enjoy it, perhaps fried or as pate’
     I would rather eat a heaping pile...

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Why does love always feel like a stick in my eye
When I constantly reach for the sky
Looking for the answers why
It's kicking my butt and leaves 
An empty feeling in my gut
Instead of chasing woman like a rutting buck
I always get stuck with the ones
That want...

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Tell me, my friend, when can I send 
My spirit gently into that good night? 
How many times do I have to die 
Before I get it right? 
Every car crash, train wreck, 
Overdose, misstep, 
Splintered bone, rug burn, 
Danger zone, poisoned cup, 
Open sore,...

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4/8/24

Aww shucks
Still at the crux
In a state of flux
With reality still out of touch
I've been puzzled much
So I smoke a couple blunts
That's a double dutch
From dawn to dusk
I turned myself into a husk
Just so I could seek another rush
The door opens then shuts
Hinges rust
Nearby accumulated...

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