At the Crux

4/8/24

Aww shucks
Still at the crux
In a state of flux
With reality still out of touch
I've been puzzled much
So I smoke a couple blunts
That's a double dutch
From dawn to dusk
I turned myself into a husk
Just so I could seek another rush
The door opens then shuts
Hinges rust
Nearby accumulated dust
Atop the Earth's crust
Standing in another gust
I struggled on who to trust
So I had to adjust
In order to do what I must
It felt like I was on the cusp
Only for it all to combust
I've been a schmuck
Too often I snuck
All to get an extra buck
I push my luck
Like I give no 
But I've been stuck
Like a sitting duck
Always being the one to muck it up
Sometimes feels like I got ran over by a truck
Then by lightning I keep getting struck
Is that what I get for being denser than a hockey puck?
In order to get out of all the ruts
There will be cuts
It takes guts
To turn the negative around into a plus
I should add
That I just want to be a good dad
But I don't even have anyone, I know that just looks sad
Like me another lost soul in this woodland
Time will tell if that's something I could have
Holy moly
Blocking me out like a goalie
Still feeling lonely
If only
She'd give me a chance and try to know me
It's all good if you want to move fast pace or take it slowly
I deserve to be loved
Not be judged
By ideals that put themselves above
Hold on to the grudge
Let my name be smudged
Through the mud and sludge
Can't discover my roots
Or makes the best of all these fruits
So what's the use
If I can't find the truth
Or any proof
Because it got destroyed by men in suits
Makes it all seems like a spoof
A sinister group
Why did they make such a bloop
Were they following orders from a Duke
Regardless if they're in cahoots
I've been a recluse
Involved in substance abuse
To live is
A privilege
Got to stay disciplined
Even though it feels like my knowledge is limited
That I'm inhibited
By all the material being distributed
I've been far too interested
How can I ever figure out if this planet was visited?
They want me to stay dim witted
Otherwise it's prohibited
At one point there was an answer but it got hidden quick
Trying to figure it all out they have forbidden it
It's been scripted
All these eerily similar depictions
Yet differences
Across vast distances
There's no credible witnesses
Only scarcely interpreted images
Too much contradictory
History
Still a mystery
It all feels like no victory
Just endless trickery
Against the current I continually swam
Stubborn and more foolish than a ram
Rarely went out of my shell like a clam
Still time slipping through my hand
Like a grain of sand
As a man
Did no good to follow a plan
I wrote as a kid in crayon
I'll be damned
It surely all went down the can
Quicker then I could understand
The cause and effect is like a rubber band
It all comes full circle, so get the upper hand
Do what's best for you, because no other can
Almost had it then it all dispersed
Still fully immersed
With an endless thirst
Heart soon to burst
It's the worst
Evil always lurks
A faster outcome toward a hearse
Will I ever break such a curse?
As I conduct research
All across this Earth
Back to healthy, can I be nursed?
I won't be the last nor the first
People pass, all we got left is memories and their face on a shirt
Trying to lead a better life, going to church
All for others to look down on you from their perch
No matter, I must find what works
I pay no mind to such jerks
But I keep my eyes on them because they'll smirk
While they stab you in the back with a dirk
This use to irk
Make me go berserk
The same said for continually getting burnt
It would hurt
But now I'm at peace even if I end up in the dirt

Copyright © | Year Posted 2024



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