Best Gus Poems
Many are the 'characters' I met while serving my nation.
Seems there's always one who stands out in every organization!
In Bermuda (where I fought the Korean War) was such a cuss.
He was my bunkmate and he went by the name of Gus!
Gus was the old man of the outfit, a staff sergeant as I recall.
He'd been up and down the ranks and boozing caused his fall!
Never to be promoted beyond 'staff'', he was happy with his lot.
Gus floated on cloud nine as long as he had his daily tot!
Near payday, funds depleted, out of booze, in a nervous funk,
He'd surreptitiously place this beseechng note upon my bunk:
"My boy, may I propose for your benevolent consideration,
A temporary loan for relief from my dire financial situation?"
Now, how could I deny his plea phrased in such flowing verse!
Besides, on payday, he'd promptly seek me out to reimburse!
On paydays, Gus and his pals were wont to go on a spree!
He'd relieve his bloated bladder nigh any convenient tree,
Proclaming, "Wherever you may be let your water flow free!"
(For some reason the local constables happened to disagree!)
Gus was a good man and I enjoyed our comradely association,
Despite his innate proclivity for intemperate intoxication!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
At the end cab of the bus
the dog lay it’s paw on top
of the pup who was now Gus.
Gus was a fuss, he ran and hop
on the cop . The cop saw us
Can I ask, is he one to stop
roll, beg, and sit on my lap cus
he has wet! Now who will mop?
Oh, Gus, on the net in a fog
sad all in a mass. Why a dog?
Saw a hog and fell off a log
off he ran till he saw mom up
hill as he use too as a pup
Gus now sup out of the tea cup
4/9/2016
4/9/2016
The Funom's Sonnet consists of 14 lines, each line made up of 7/8 syllabic word count. The rhyme pattern is in this form; a-b-a-b,a-b-a-b,c-c-c,d-d-d.
Gus sipped a few brews and went on a spree,
And in public piddled on a prized tree.
When the cops nabbed him that day,
Poet Gus had this to say:
"Where'er you be, let your water flow free!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2015 All Rights Reserved
(Witty Epitaph)
Herein lies Cornelius Gus Huss
Who wanted more muscles and then plus
Til one day he had more of his "juice".
It killed him when he combined it with booze.
Dorian Petersen Potter
aka ladydp2000
copyright@2014
October,31,2014
Herein lies Cornelius Gus Huss
Who wanted more muscles and then plus
Til one day he had more of his "juice".
It killed him when he combined it with booze!
Dorian Petersen Potter
aka ladydp2000
copyright@2011
September,24,2014
What’s going on at the Co op
Its been cordoned off, with some tape
The police have a ten strong contingent
Was it robbery, murder or rape ?
We telephoned Lynn cos she works there
But it turned out she’d had the day off
She wasn’t too well, by her voice you could tell
And every so often she’d cough
The policemen were not very helpful
As they stood and they guarded the door
But looking between, their two legs, gabardine
I could swear there was blood on the floor
The rumours were rife “ someone stabbed with a knife”
A robbery, someone got shot
A terrorist gang, going out with a bang
Was there truth in these tales, there was not
For fact is far stranger than fiction
There’s no murderer, on the rampage
Just a poor little beast enjoying a feast
A small creature, escaped from its cage
It was just after two when the men
From the Zoo, arrived in a van with a gun
Said “ we’ve been ‘ere before, hold open the door
We’ll soon put an end to his fun”
Going down with a thump and a dart in his rump
Spread-eagled he lay on the deck
No one thought that this ape would ever escape
Or would be such a pain in the neck
Now he’s back in the great ape enclosure
He’s a hero of cunning and guile
Regaled by the others, both sisters and brothers
On his face, fixed, a permanent smile
© John W Fenn 07-09-2009
Below lies Gus
Hit by a bus
Crossing the road
To save a toad
AP: Honorable Mention 2020
Submitted on August 10, 2021 for A BRIAN STRAND 1 TO 14 LINE POETRY contest sponsored by BRIAN STRAND - RANKED 1ST
and April 14, 2019 for contest AN EPITAPH TO MAKE US LAUGH 2 sponsored by JESSE ROWE
Their eyes widened, and the group leaned in with curiosity. “What’s in it for us?” one of them asked, lowering his phone and adopting a tone that suggested a wild adventure was imminent, perhaps even Trans storytime or "Elementary School Teachers Gone Wild", in class. Maybe even genital mutilation and Jones Kool Aid + visual aids, plus umm, aids, and monkey pox and band aids. OK Gus was getting ahead of himself.
“Help us distract Michael! Promise you’ll get the real story behind the Easter Bunny,” Penney pitched.
The teenagers exchanged glances, and with a shared nod, they sprang into action. One of them grabbed an absurdly large basket of fake Easter eggs from a nearby store display while another started a group chant: “Bunny! Bunny! Bunny!” The noise attracted attention, echoing through the mall like a siren call.
“Where’s the playboy bunny?!” a kid shouted, turning the heads of middle afed Men. “We need her for a photo op!”
The Bunny, momentarily flustered, turned to the group, delighting in this unexpected attention. The teenagers began prancing around him, flinging eggs into the air as Michael, caught in a haze of confusion and rage, stumbled toward them. I am the playboy bunny, just Baroke wokey Bear !
“Why is everyone so obsessed with real women?!” he roared, shaking his fist in frustration, but momentarily losing his focus on Penney and Gus.
“Now’s our chance!” Penney hissed, taking Gus's elbow as they sprinted toward the Escape Rooms, leaving the staged chaos behind. With the door to Room One in sight, their hearts raced with momentum and fear.
Inside the rooms, walls transformed with dazzling illusions and outrageous puzzles awaited—a place where fantasy ruled and magic reignited the thrill of adventure. As they bolted through the door and barely managed to slam it shut, laughter erupted from behind them.
“Isn’t this just a tad absurd?” Gus panted, hands on his knees.
“Absolutely! But if it distracts Michael long enough for us to figure out our next move, then let's embrace the madness!” Penney winked, trying to catch her breath amidst the resurgence of adrenaline.
gobsmacker Gus was his own kind of balloon man, what dare I say?
flew to his Monday internal voices, other times whispers of the day.
He heard voices that spoke of fantasy and whimsy complete.
We tried to follow his antics on social media so sweet.
He could not be held to any one standard, he was an eclectic dude.
Flying his contraptions high in every kind of insanely high altitude!
You know him! Some asked me, surprised of this I would readily admit.
I loved Gobsmacker GTW. He was whimsical, creative, and fit!
Moments later, a furious Michael stormed in, eyes ablaze with determination. But the moment he stepped closer, he was faced with an army of Penneys and Guses—four, five, six reflections dizzying his focus.
“What?! Which one is real?!” he bellowed, frustration splattering onto the walls.
“Time to play, Michael!” Penney called out cheerfully. “Thanks for coming to our show!”
The laughter from behind them—the teenagers, the Bunny, and the overall allure of their escape room adventure—turned the tension into pure comic chaos. Michael, now lost in the funhouse of mirrors and illusions, momentarily froze in befuddlement.
As his gaze darted and the gleam of confusion started to settle, Penney and Gus seized their moment. “Let’s get out of here!” they shouted, hand-in-hand running down the hall toward what truly felt like freedom, the echoes of their laughter trailing behind them, like farts.
Once more, as the chaos of the mall became a distant memory, they could sense that they’d survived a wild adventure—but not without the magic that came from both friendship and a sprinkling of absurdity in the heart of a place where fantasy could intertwine with reality.
After all, in a world that sometimes felt like an endless loop of chaos, assassinations and CIA controlled Media, they had found their own sanctuary, a kind of brotherhood befitting a brave and whimsical hero's tale—surreally absurd, but undeniably memorable. Unlike the Satanic Olympics in Paris, which probably lost money, and embarrassed the people of France, leaving communist Beijing, snickering from poetic, politics-apologetics.
Giving up on Gus
Giving up on us
Giving up on u
Giving up
As they hurried to the door, the sounds of laughter and shouts from outside faded but never completely disappeared. They could still hear the teenagers chanting and the Bunny making sarcastic comments to keep the situation wierd. Their distraction technique was working, but they knew they couldn’t linger. Gus looked at Penney, who farted
again, because his berating look, lingered.
Gus inserted the key into the lock, and with a satisfying click, the door swung open to reveal a new challenge: a room filled with sparkling lights and a shimmering floor that looked like a galaxy of stars. Hanging above were various musical instruments—an odd assortment indeed, from ukuleles to maracas to instruments of torture and bdsm.
“This place is amazing!” Penney exclaimed, her spirits lifted by the sensory overload. “But how are we going to solve the next puzzle?”
Suddenly, a loud thud reverberated from the room they had just escaped. Michael's voice boomed through the door. “You can’t hide forever, Penney! I’ll get you, I'll get you a free bus ride to Butler Pennsylvania!”, it blurted.
“Time’s running out!” Gus said as a tingle of panic shot through him. “We need to make music together!" Penney's eyes lit up. "Maybe that’s the key!”
Gus dashed to the nearest instruments. Penney a bit bummered out, grabbed a maraca while Gus took hold of a be-dazzling tambourine. With an improvised beat, they tapped and shook, creating a rhythm that filled the room. Just as they began to lose themselves in the music, the room responded; the walls shimmered brighter, and notes floated into the air, intertwining with the delicate air raisin like sounds they created.
Suddenly, the floor lit up, revealing a beautiful pattern that corresponded with their tune. It was clear now—they needed to hit the right notes to unlock the next door. They took a deep breath and focused.
With every shake and strum, they gradually deciphered a melody, one not only full of life and attention but filled with intention—an anthem of escapism against Michael’s looming threat. As the final note echoed, a door on the opposite end of the room slid open.
In a mall that could only be described as a circus of chaos, Penney and Gus found themselves in an absurd game of cat and mouse. The air buzzed with a mixture of excitement and anxiety—it was just another day at Mallville, where the ordinary became extraordinary, and every moment held the potential to be either hilarious or downright dangerous.
Penney eyed the bright signs that advertised "Escape Rooms: The Ultimate Adventure!" The fluorescent colors felt oddly welcoming amidst the pandemonium that was unfolding before her. She couldn't help but smile at the absurdity of it all. Who would've thought that the mall's Easter Bunny would become an unwitting ally in their escapade?
“I never thought I’d be saved by a giant rabbit,” she murmured to herself as they ducked behind a row of chic retail displays, barely avoiding Michael’s frantic gaze.
“Look! It’s a bunny!” Gus exclaimed, his eyes shining with an idea. “If we can trick Michael into thinking that bunny is the true prize to chase after—or maybe even a secret agent—we might just have our distraction.”
Penney nodded, catching a glimpse of the furry creature adjusting his oversized glasses and attempting to regain composure after the chaotic encounter with Michael. The bunny, apparently, was more than just a seasonal mascot; he looked sharp and surprisingly agile.
As Penney and Gus strategized, Michael was already on his feet, brushing away faux grass and chocolate-covered Easter eggs from his attire. His nose still dripped crimson, but his focus remained unwavering. “I will find you, Penney! You can't hide forever!” he yelled, the intensity in his voice suggesting he was ready to unleash chaos on anyone who got in his way.
Gus noticed a group of teenagers nearby giggling as they filmed the unfolding drama for social media, creating a modern archive of what could easily be titled “Mall Madness.” They seemed oblivious to the seriousness of the situation—distraction was their specialty after all.
“Hey, you!” Gus called out, pointing dramatically at the teenagers. “Zany TikTokers! How about a collab? We need an epic stunt for your next viral video!”
Glorious gamer going by Gus generously greased giant gamma goblin
on glamourous gamma rays, galvanizing gamecock’s gallstones in the
Gallery game Gallant Glitzy Goose fuddle.
Gus got all of those who were allowed to attend
and "available" settled in around his big oak table.
He even put in an extra leaf to accomodate,
so there was enough space to keep from
slap fights and infighting of kin. He handed out
charmingly and diplomatically, the swami hats each containing an indian feather and a bedazzle kit- stone standard. He didn't have time to personalize
a moniker, this would have to do in a pinch.
Speaking of pinching weiners, Gus had to go to the bathroom, and was potty dancing and squinching,
this whole seance thing and having the floor for
everyone's attention was getting him excited.
On his way to the bathroom, he noticed Silky had
already fashioned his into a pimp hat,
cocked to the side as he slapped Penney for good measure to help break the hat in.
Penney fashioned hers into a pirate hat and shot Silky a look of smug mutiny. Kenny was too busy dealing
Vatican 2 pedopriest some product to personalize his for the moment. Gus pulled the hat from LizPiggo's
mouth and made his way, forgetting he locked
Nancy and Chuck in there and took a two story wiz
out the window. What a story! they were embarking
on indeed, was all he could think about,
except for the fact that he couldn't use the kitchen
sink because he couldn't find his step stool and
the arc of his stream no matter how proficient his trajectory would go all over the floor on re entry
unless he jumped toward the sink in the final throes.
He remembered what happened last time.
Wet floors and jumping were a wicked mix.
After he heard the voices seemingly coming from somewhere close "out there", he shook
the distraction off
and resolved to get back in there and get this seance underway. The spirits needed him !...