Cool Hand Gus

What’s going on at the Co op Its been cordoned off, with some tape The police have a ten strong contingent Was it robbery, murder or rape ? We telephoned Lynn cos she works there But it turned out she’d had the day off She wasn’t too well, by her voice you could tell And every so often she’d cough The policemen were not very helpful As they stood and they guarded the door But looking between, their two legs, gabardine I could swear there was blood on the floor The rumours were rife “ someone stabbed with a knife” A robbery, someone got shot A terrorist gang, going out with a bang Was there truth in these tales, there was not For fact is far stranger than fiction There’s no murderer, on the rampage Just a poor little beast enjoying a feast A small creature, escaped from its cage It was just after two when the men From the Zoo, arrived in a van with a gun Said “ we’ve been ‘ere before, hold open the door We’ll soon put an end to his fun” Going down with a thump and a dart in his rump Spread-eagled he lay on the deck No one thought that this ape would ever escape Or would be such a pain in the neck Now he’s back in the great ape enclosure He’s a hero of cunning and guile Regaled by the others, both sisters and brothers On his face, fixed, a permanent smile © John W Fenn 07-09-2009