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Best Gnat Poems | Poetry

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New Gnat Poems

Don't stop! The most popular and best Gnat poems are below this new poems list.

The Infuriating Gnat by McGrath, Brenda
The Gnat by O'Leary, Terry
The Gnat Nebulae by Wignesan, T
Nasty Gnat by Johnson, Joyce
Henry 'Gnat' Wilson's Bedtime Routine by Jones, Nancy
Gall gnat by Mehta, Dr.Ram
A Gnat by Colasurdo, Marcello
Ogden Gnat by MOCKETT, NEILL

View all new Gnat Poems

The Best Gnat Poems

Details | Gnat Poem |

An Atoms Tale Is Epic

If I die before tomorrow
Though the sun won't shine for me
Take pleasure in it's warming glow
There's a future there to see

No life will last forever
The sun will one day fail
But not before we've all passed on
So who will hear the tale

A tree falls in a forest
A whale dies in the sea
What happens to the birds nest
Do the krill sigh with relief

For all things have their moments
And moments are just that
Fleeting blinks of birds eyes
While they are swallowing a gnat

The movement in those atoms
That constitute our food
May see them come full circle
How oft have they been chewed

Eternity is far too short 
To learn all that is about
Everything this world has
Is really nowt but nowt

In pondering the puzzles
That plague us one and all
Don't succumb to sorrow
When you see the last leaf fall

As somewhere in the realms of space
In one parallel or two
Will be another one of us
Who holds a similar view

All the atoms that we find here 
Have been around so long 
Their air miles are quite staggering
But their engines still on song

While visions of perpetual motion
That man has sought for centuries
Can never match these tiny dots that
Have whizzed around with endless ease

©Rhumour
December 4th 2008
Edited February 5th 2017

Details | Gnat Poem |

Love Bug

The smallest, most annoying pest,
Seeks the heartbeat of your breast, 
In search of where to build its nest,
Bites you, and forgets the rest. 

It's venom starts to flow within,
The earth beneath begins to spin,
You fail to suppress an arcane grin,
And know this fluster must be a sin.

Electricity runs through your veins,
Grants strength to free break from your chains, 
Relaxes you from all your strains,
And comforts like a thousand rains.

Your heart and soul embrace confusion,
With open arms greet this intrusion,
Is this Utopia just an illusion?
You're overtaken by dillusion.

This high is almost more than you can take,
Heart beats so fast it starts to ache,
Your every muscle starts to quakes,
Your body's frightened it will break.

You feel the mite begin to hollow, 
To your heart, it's home to wallow, 
Unsure of what is next to follow,
The tension makes it hard to swallow.

It reaches it's last destination,
You can't describe this new sensation, 
You're free of every old frustration,
And a host to a new creation. 

You sigh as every problem slacks,
You melt away like candle wax,
You never been quite this relaxed, 
Yet you still wonder about the tracks.

Of this gnat gnawing at your soul,
Making you, for once, feel as a whole, 
Burning in your heart like fire and coal, 
But can't help but let it take control. 

You close your eyes, your face is smug,
You know its true but still you shrug,
Knowing it's stronger than any drug,
You've been bitten by the love bug.

Details | Gnat Poem |

Three funny Poems-Haikus (Poems from 7th Grade #6)

1. A gnat under blue
    days will next spin on apples 
    Look! More frogs arrived 

2.  The terrible tree
     Covers my house. That summer 
     I counted wagons 


3.  The frog above red 
     Songs will soon remember you
     Winter dreams with ducks

Details | Gnat Poem |

All That I ...

All That I ...
                  Authored by Chuck Keys


Looking to and fro    side to side    it wasnt in sight    it had no scent   
it had no dimensions    nor phsyicality    nor identity
yet    just for a brief second    I felt its cool breeze pass by
it contrasted sharply from the bright    hot    silent    lazy    late    afternoon     sun   
the sweat on my brow made my skin tingle    just ever so slight   
                                                             just a brief tiny muscle twitch or 2
there was no warning     no hint of what was coming    or going    only a wee afterthought.
 
Sssshhh    nothing is moving    not even a fly    neither ant   nor gnat
waiting patiently for a movement    something must move    but when
why was there so much blankness    yet existence
sssshhh    maybe    just maybe    it will come back
is it time    must it be now    aaaahhhaaa    eureka   I remember    I think I know
it was my time to thank God again for all that I ...

Details | Gnat Poem |

The Gnat

The spider Queen, aloofly vain!
She rules a silent ruthless reign
with black-bead eyes like pearls of rain
that soak the depths of her demesne.



A spider spins, with nimble feet,
a sticky web of grim deceit
that drapes the corners, dark, discreet,
in catacombs of her retreat.

Her jointed legs (they number eight)
traverse the threads with stilted gait,
but often more she'll sit and wait 
within the hub of her estate.

Poor spider lives her life alone
ensconced within a silky throne;
unless a transient guest comes flown,
her life bides empty, monotone.

Well, now and then, a sullen breeze
may twitch the toils, begin to tease -
but nothing's caught and nothing pleas,
so patience bids  at times like these.

But then again, when stars ignite,
may maunder by a fly by night,
be taught a dance, a writhing rite,
within a lace of death, wrapped tight.

Sometimes a spider's in the mood
and waits awhile, whilst being wooed -
and then, to later feed her brood,
the widow slays her mate for food.

In time a spider dies, 'tis true,
bequeathing but a residue
entwined like branches of a yew
in mourning, graced with silver dew.



One asks "What purpose serves the GNAT -
to feed and make the spider fat?"
Well, 'tis perchance just naught but that
within a mindless habitat...

"Yet, what's the aim?" you may inquire,
at the heart of MAN's desire.
"To which goals should WE aspire
reaching high and reaching higher?"

We've, through the ages, left the mire,
trundling wheels and taming fire,
doing deeds that must inspire,
nursing needy, calming crier, …

Such things as these we all admire:
- pacifist and war defier
(some are bolder, some are shyer)
- patience (something to acquire);

- humanity (Life's magnifier)
- charity (the self-denier)
- tolerance (the justifier) 
- love of Life (the deifier). 

What more could ones like we require?
Needless kneeling neath the spire?
Childish chanting in the choir?	
Preaching hell's eternal pyre?

No, Death's the only rectifier,
comes the instant you expire,
nothing after, nothing prior -

So, treasure Life and don't deny Her…

Details | Gnat Poem |

Dragonfly

   Aquatic nymph to dragonfly.
   A rainbow coloured acrobat,
   With diamond facets in each eye.

   Feeding on wing, as they terrify,
   Their prey of wasp, to midge and gnat.
   Aquatic nymph to dragonfly,

   It's changing colours do belie,
   This natures fearsome autocrat.
   With diamond facets in each eye,

   Diaphanous wings to soar on high,
   A fearless creature in combat.
   Aquatic nymph to dragonfly,

   It's flights of fancy in the sky,
   Weaving a rainbow ribboned plait.
   With diamond facets in each eye,

   One final act before they die,
   Creating life.   -   ensuring that,
   Aquatic nymph to dragonfly,
   Yet both are one, to swim, then fly.

Details | Gnat Poem |

A sad old flea

A sad old flea and a silly old gnat
were boogieing it down
on the neck of an aristocrat
When suddenly Splat
they're flat
And that was that

Details | Gnat Poem |

Venus and the Soldier Ant

Venus politely introduced herself to the passing soldier ant,
The ant did gaze for long, at the pretty crimson plant-
Impressed by Venus's beauty, it listened to her talk,
And even thought them pretty, the seven leaves upon her stalk-
Not to go unnoticed, were the fine spindles that lined her door,
The ant felt no more splendor, could a beautiful plant ask for-

Spellbound by her looks, the ant stared as they continued to chat,
When very soon thereafter, landed a shiny green little gnat-
Venus's eyes diverted away from her newly made ant friend,
"Let's get together next week, then more time together we'll spend-
I have many things to do, before the sun lays down to rest,"
The ant turned around and as it  walked away, blew a kiss before it left-

Venus watched the ant, until it disappeared from her sight,
Then gazed upon the little green gnat, who never thought to take flight-
"Come a little closer," she said, "My eyesight is kind of poor,"
The little green gnat did what was asked, then entered the pretty front door-
Venus had a wonderful sleep, her stomach was full and content,
Garden guests danced all around, knowing her energy was spent-

Venus slept in for almost a week, she had really enjoyed her guest,
And as the sun peeked over from the east, the flowers awoke from their rest-
The crimson lady yawned, then smiled to greet the new day,
The birds alerted the garden bugs, it was time to get away-
It was late in the afternoon, when the soldier ant again came by,
Venus noticed it right away, out of the corner of her eye-

"I was worried you wouldn't return," she said with a charming grin,
"You're so good looking, I missed you, why don't you please come in?"
The ant hesitated, standing not too close to her side,
"Good morning pretty lady," he said, "but I'm afraid I told you a lie-
I never break a promise, but the queen has called for me,
Tomorrow would be a better day, for us together to be-"

The soldier ant focused on Venus, never once blinking either eye,
Something seemed not quite right, and it couldn't figure out why-
As the ant was about to leave, there landed a butterfly moth,
And out from under Venus's door, came a bit of bubbly froth-
Venus quickly flattered the ant and then politely rushed it away,
Turning to the moth she said, "Won't you come in and play?" 

The next day the ant came back, with Venus it wanted to talk,
But her door was tightly closed, so around the garden it walked-
There was chattering all around, about the "lady" going to sleep,
One of the garden bugs said aloud, "We'll be safe for another week!"
The ant noticed other plants had company on them or quite near,
But for some faint outlines, Venus's area was exceptionally clear-

After marching around, the ant thought, "What am I missing here?
There's something very suspect about this crimson lady, I fear,"
Then lightning fast, a memory flash, about a poem the queen once read,
About how a fly, tricked with flattering words, ended up in a spider's den dead-
There was something very strange, about those outlines on the ground,
Upon closer inspection, the soldier ant was startled by what it found!

There could be no denying now, about what Venus liked to eat,
And invitations to "please come in" had been spoken with deceit-
The ant was sure that those who had obliged, were taken by surprise,
And felt a terrible sadness about, how they came to meet their demise-
The soldier ant had learned what's important, when making a friend,
It’s not the beauty on the outside that counts, but only the beauty within!

Details | Gnat Poem |

My Sorrowful Soul

“Sometimes, a hug can mend a sorrowful soul like mine” – J W M Earnings
What’s the point of sorrow when I have tomorrow to look forward to?
What’s the big deal with people who just don’t want your help?
Is it time to face the fact that I have been wasting away my time?
For hours on end, 
I have wanted to be with you during your tough times
The antique clocks of time tick away 
As the day unwinds…the wicked wind do sway
When you are by my side,
I feel you, crawling into my heart of dry ice
Something in me has died
Something horrid has separated us forever
Amen to that once sweet sacrifice…
I was going to make 
Now, my life is at stake
Goosebumps grow up and down my entire body
Everybody…look at everybody…
They glance vacantly in our direction
I yearn for my future faith to sooth me with affection
Oh, my sorrowful soul cannot take this any longer – cease from playing that sad, sad song
I am venturing off into obscure dimensions
Venture with me for a while…I would never do her wrong and she wanted me all along
You belong with me always; for days, I have missed you…these obsessions –
Sex is not racing through my mind…but I have dealt with these obsessions
Replaying naughty scenes of temporary relief, 
Then glancing in the mirror in disgust…
A lust that turned my hopes into dust
But, love is close behind
There are many treasures to find
Snowed under by the words you sensibly speak so kind
I wept for you in winter snowfalls
Do you see those glistening waterfalls – 
Place them in Your jar,
Oh God of blessings from afar
He shines brilliantly bright like a twinkling star
Time slips 
Away from my finger tips
Discard 
The difficulties…the challenges…the effortless times I’ve had with writing…
I can deal with the tasks that test my skills of being a sharp bard
Yet, I can’t deal with the tasks of being a fool in school
Prudent lips mutter sincerity 
Whisper it to the wind and pass it on to me
Let me hear it…I smile delightfully 
Misery does tug on our hearts so…so bitterly
Bittersweet is your nature, entwined with mine alone
Pass on encouragement and hand me the cell phone
Dynamically, I dance without a care
Keep it down just a hair – I washed away the despair
And untangled my hair and unleashed it on the bathroom floor
I drown away the regret that’s been making me soaking wet…I swore…
I swore in my heart I won’t be infuriated anymore, 
But I’ve been pushed out of shape 
Yet, I keep this in mind – there is peace in mind to get rid of grief…a grief that veiled me like a midnight cape
Where are you when I need you most? 
I can’t help but mention you and boast
Gnarled trees twist and turn
The echoes of gladness and madness have left me…in this wilderness to burn…
Kindle the flames
Rouse me with royal names,
Even though I do not deserve such praise
I am going through my atrocious days
Sometimes, a hug can mend a sorrowful soul like mine
What’s the point of sorrow when I have tomorrow to look forward to?
What’s the big deal with people who don’t care if I live or die?
Maybe…that sounds selfish to say such a thing like that
I can’t help it…
the way I deal 
with the way I feel…
is as tricky as killing a gnat
Is it time to face the fact that I have been wasting away, never knowing why?
Why? Why? Why?
Why do I fight the urge to cry?
Somber fears 
Has reduced me to tears
The years of my life – 
Were they not important? 
Despite all I have done, I cannot forget the strife…
Regret not, poor infant…and stomp not on that strong, barely-surviving ant
You’re my infant of light 
You are my flawless friend
You built me up with might
You are my beginning and end
You’re my infant of night
You are my sensitive friend
Be brave and stay strong, alright?
My sorrowful soul…is meeting its end…
Waiting for the end of sorrow
Unwearyingly do I wait for God’s Tomorrow
Spread your wings and fly like a blue-and-green-striped sparrow
Our problems will fade
But, farewells, I must bade 
Soon, this quote will be placed in Yesterday’s files:
“Sometimes, a hug can mend a sorrowful soul like mine” – J W M Earnings
P.S.: Keep a cheerful spirit and wear those smiles
- My Sorrowful Soul

Details | Gnat Poem |

Little Bugger

A gnat did fly up my nose,
on purpose, I must suppose.
He set off a pet peeve,
as his wings made me sneeze,
I did pee into my clothes.



Are You Bugged Contest
Placement 3rd

Details | Gnat Poem |

Toad and Troll

There was a fussy old toad, yes; some might call him, a curmudgeon, at soul. 
When his ladylove died, he took it in stride, and sought someone else to pester.
Eventually, he came to our lake, and jumped on the Troll Bridge, quite blazon.
Trouble in his eyes, he met the trolls, eye for eye, and with strength, blustered.

“I’m King of the Hill”, he spat out, ignoring the clubs and frowns… all about.
Grandpa Troll looked at the toad, and got ready to do battle, quickly…at that.
I chimed in, “They’re renters my dear. You’ll have to fight me, it’s clear. So dropout.”
“And I’m too worn out, for a silly old toad, who jumps like a gnat, now, scat.”

“I’ll have this bridge”, he said, “I’ll fight you anywhere, so be very, greatly, prepared.”
“I’m worn-out”, I said, “But battle we will. I’ll win! So look where you tread, instead.”
I said,“You challenged me first, so I’ll pick the test, you’ll play Grandpa Troll at Chess”.
Amazement filled the toads eyes, but to my surprise, he took the bait. Rather smart.

Now Grandpa Troll is a whittler. “I’ll commission your own home bridge, if he loses.”
“At the end of the lake, you’ll have a home place. If you lose, you’ll learn to whittle!”
The old toad looked me over, and with a frown, then ask, “What good is whittling?”
“You could make a chess board like no other, Toads verses Trolls, in war forever!”

He agreed that was quite a stake! And knew he couldn’t lose, the old reprobate!
Still he haggled, to strike a better bargain, and he Hee Hawed around for more.
Now, Grandpa Troll had never lost a game.  Still we upped the ante, just the same.
“If you lose, I’ll build you a home bridge… if you teach the youngun’s, chess, instead.”

Now, he was sold! So off they did go, playing chess and whittling, by the seasons.
You know, I’m trying to be a writer, but the interruptions seem to always get harder!
So as you can see… With situations and things such as these …
I’ll just have to keep trying harder, and harder…

Details | Gnat Poem |

The Last Semblance of Sanity

 

Paraded endlessly, this spectacle the Elephants know to be degrading,
And their counterparts from the sea , the Orcas, resist in captivity
By refusing to unfurl their proud dorsal fin, stings my eyes like a gnat
Lodged in my cortex, no amount of profit seems to dislodge.

Waking from my dream, I notice the old man waving to the crowd,
Gesturing wildly, as if warning of something no-one has yet seen.
Every evolution of Plybinium Quasar, the spectacle increases, with
Dogs leaping and biting at the air, and Neptunes, of disproportionate
Size, unable (or unwilling) to allow the pain to subside.

The viewing platform, constructed entirely of entitlements, teeters
Vicariously in the breeze, with the prominent attendees smiling, despite
Frostbite, inching up their extended promises.

Utilizing “light-track” technology, the time hoppers applaud
At pre-determined intervals, a strenuous exercise for sure,
Given the time restraints imposed by the counters in the Humbolt Quasar.

In this unfamiliar atmosphere, what clean air there is left to breathe
Smells pretty bad, like a cake frosted with sulfur.



01/10/11
9:46 pm
© All Rights Reserved

Details | Gnat Poem |

TH' BRINY WHORE

I'm a briny whore
wit' reekin' drawers
me honor ter make yer acquenchance
th' skipper's maid
me port's decayed
one doubloon, yer seafarin' urchin?

Yer scurvy rat
a-crawl wit' gnat
orf seadog scourged wit' rabid 
yer cannon's immense
'tis cocked 'n tense
yer cutlass be yearnin' me scabbard

Yer stench o' sewer
me bits'll chew yer
bumps 'n boils 'n rottin' flesh
yer britches singe
yer helm unhinge
ter boot yer hornpipe thump 'n thresh

2013-11-20

Details | Gnat Poem |

Unlucky Me

While gazing at the sky
A gnat flew in my eye
Causing me to wince in pain

Using the faucet spout
I tried to flush it out
So I could see clear again

When the gnat was dislodged
It came out very smudged
Like a soggy wet wheat grain


When next I watched the sky
A bird pooped in my eye
So I had to flush again

I must be unlucky
For what happened to me
Because it had me in pain

So when birds are on high
And there are gnats nearby
Caution I have to maintain

Details | Gnat Poem |

Natural Disaster

Natural Disaster

You have the compassion of a blizzard and the patience of an avalanche
Your derision trickles like a monsoon.
You drown me in disdain.
Flooded by your expectations, my capacities sank.

You are my natural disaster.

You are a hurricane of indecency, a tornado of contempt.
You are a Typhoon raging over my failings.
My army of good intentions surrenders to your gales of dissatisfaction.
You blow me away as a gnat.

You are my natural disaster.

The earth quakes from your judgment. You are predictable like a fault line.
We are a mud slide pouring into a chasm.
Me first, you shove
Into our crevasse of discontent, we fall together.

You are my natural disaster.

You are lightening. I have no ground.
The warmth of our love you kindled
into solar fission and into scorched conflagration you drove.
Your future is hot. Mine unwritten.

You are my natural disaster.

     _ _ _

JD Zoller.  (C) 11-30-2016

Details | Gnat Poem |

Brotherhood

We fought, we laughed,
   we wrestled in play.
For years, on the very same bed
   we lay.
Into the night, we'd whisper and quiver,
   under twenty quilts, we'd shiver.

Mom would always tuck us in
   then the freezing cold began.
By three AM, she'd soon arrive
   To see if we were still alive.

We shared one bed. One closet,
   one chest
On which our Hai Karate rest.

Then summer came with heat
   and sweat.
Whose pillow was whose,
   we'd often fret.

Heat so hot, we bathed the sheets.
A fly and gnat and mosquito feast.
A window fan blew nice hot air.
That wet and humid room
   we'd share.

That 'antique' bed, it creaked and dipped.
Under crispy sheets we slipped.
Jokes were told; prayers were said.
Thankful at least to share a bed.

Thankful at least to have a bed.

Details | Gnat Poem |

I Slept with a Female Mosquito - part IV

I Slept with a Female Mosquito – part IV 

I have gone gnats!
My residual blood is boiling and bubbling
Whole frame sweltering and shuddering
Discolored rage – lend me some wrath
Should I or should I not,
Read her the riot act?
Does she know me any well –
A P.S now; been senator
Been governor, been chief, been prompt 
In every cabinet
A minister here, a commissioner there
A chairman here, a spokesman there
A director here, Acting vice president
Do you know the cost of my person?
To accost fester and feast!
Madam Ambassador, speak for your people
The swarm is listening, whiz
That’s the envoy’s mark, man
Unswerving agenda, schemata
Trade, communiqué, summit, matrimony, prospects 
Bilateral rep, the diplomatic proxy
Speak for them, gnat
State your mission, miss.

Details | Gnat Poem |

More More More



In England way back in the 18th century
“Pants” was considered a bad word
Probably coz it sounds like heavy breathing
In bedrooms it could often be heard

Ernest Wright once wrote a whole novel
Without using the letter “e”
Here's a question I'd sure like to ask
Which mental institution lives he

In Tennessee it's actually against the law
To drive your car while sleeping
Well how about that my P-Soup friends
But you can with one eye peeping

Columbus' fee for discovering America
Was a paltry three hundred dollar
If that was today for crying out loud
He'd be living in absolute squalor

Hard to believe Baskin Robbins once made
Ketchup flavoured ice cream, holy crap
Needless to say it wasn't too successful
It melted on burgers, imagine that

Your thumb is the same length as you nose
So nosey people have extra long thumbs
That surely explains why you see some people
With their thumb stuck up their bum

Each year Americans eat 12 billion bananas
I eat probably one billion myself
Okay that's quite an erroneous statement
It's french fries that endanger my health

Did you know butterflies taste with their feet
Imagine if us humans did that
Phew! Stinky poo... I'd swear off eating
And  be skinny as an underweight gnat

Parrots are as intelligent as a five year old child
Know friends where that surely applies
They have this really overwhelming urge
To poop on your head flying by


© Jack Ellison 2013

Details | Gnat Poem |

Cat Tales in the Glaring

Put purring sounds around me, yes, I'm the apple of your eye.
Your furry form is always warm, your purr is a lull-a-bye
Arms and legs entwine us, so strong, Mime and brother Sy 
around a dreamy place we lay and picture summertime.
Me and Mama [Molly] cuddle with our wee Tom cat
like balls we bounce and then pounce 'till Mama tells us scat!  
The glaring's* full of mischief rivalry and combat,
Circle round see what we've found, it flies, why it's a gnat!
Round we go till dinner time, then back we go like that 
The bosom warm, the cuddly form of our sweet Molly cat
Sun up, sun down, this is the life of Sy and Mime cat-lets.


*group of cats is referred to as a "clowder" or a "glaring",a male cat is called a "tom" 
a female is called a "molly"...I named the girl Kitten Mime ;)

Details | Gnat Poem |

No Chapeau

One time in the past, I saw a picture of me.
I was a child; I wore a cowboy suit with cowboy hat.
I don’t remember this, but it was still part of history.
There was only, one other time, other than that.
This time I wore, baseball cap and helmet at bat,

I knew early on, my head would be bare eternally.
For my head was too big and also to flat,
Believe me whoever I asked, would definitely agree.
The thing I would use a hat for, would be to swat a gnat.
So I really have no favorite, definitely not, a Top Hat.


written for
Sponsor Carol Brown 
Contest Name My Favorite Hat or Bonnet

Details | Gnat Poem |

day 5

fire ants
the size of a gnat --
t.n.t.

Details | Gnat Poem |

Bountiful and Careless

Nature is as careless as it is bountiful
The faster the death, the faster is evolution.

I, a female gnat, eat my own fertile eggs,
When I am hungry while laying the eggs,
We, the gnats produce eggs within our body,
When I am hatched within the body
I devour my own parents.
The parents die, the next generation lives.

The sea is a cup of death
And land is a stained alter stone.
I am the fortunate survivor
Living on flotsam and jetsam.
Right or wrong is a human concept.

The nature cares not if I live or die
It is fixed, blind & programmed to kill.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Date: 9-12-13
Dr. Ram Mehta
First Place win
Contest: Nature poems by Poet Underetaker

Details | Gnat Poem |

Hillary Rodham Clinton

the spouse of william jefferson bitten 
i.e. hillary clinton
appears tub bee foster ring ill fit ten
for tha role of president - cuz, she z currently hit n

objections viz potential intelligence violations -  
   no mo' trust dose heart melting con vince lion eyes  
   faw catapulting her vaunted term  
   as n impeccable secretary of state 

   earning in vince able kudos via fostered trappings  
   donning stern stance sparring with a mitten 
over each hand, while her doth go a knit n
resolutions to global conflagrations

   though now, the public at large  
   (myself included) nada sit n
so comfortable per recent traction less record smitten
via questionable activity encompassing sensitivity of email
   thus, she may see duff feet written 

as primary elections draw candidates at bat 
thee aforementioned democrat 
sharp and whip smart -  
   though responding to queries 

   somewhat mechanical and flat 
tis understandable (to me) - 
   how media hounds buzz like a giant gnat 
she generally maintains 

   (in my opinion) steadfastness  
   indicating strengths to grapple 
   with worldly wide webbed woes
   without tossing in/out figurative hat 

n might be regaled with courtiers unfurling a tartan scottish mat 
while tight security maintains vigilance 
   against bad company, who could spat 
or risk hurling little rocks 
   and/or vials of corrosive acid from the white water vat.

Details | Gnat Poem |

PICKLED SPIDER

Now, wasn't it sad about Snyder,
The light hearted, fun loving spider?
He got a gnat in his eye,
While pursuing a fly,
And fell into a barrel of cider.

Details | Gnat Poem |

Promotion


I wanted to be a rich girl
In my posh executive suit
But then a little person
Made my life change route.

Posh make up replaced with eye bags
A bulge replacing my waist
The fear of getting through bed time
Worse than any meeting Id faced.

Rats tails Instead of a style
My nails not polished and posh
I think there was a good few days
I’d even forgotten to wash.

You think deadlines are scary
My friend you haven’t known fear
Til your child is standing, their nappy is gone
And theyre smiling from ear to ear.

Don’t ask about my nice year ‘off’
I can assure you that my leave
Was hard enough to make a stint
In prison sound like a breeze.

So while the brand new office girl
Smugly pities me
Lets take a short reflection
To view my new CV…

I am a master multi tasker
No job too small or big
You’ll never know what patience is
Til you’ve watched EVERY Peppa Pig.

Deadline shmedline I’m not phased
Reports don’t bring me sorrow
I’ve had that dreaded letter
‘He must be Superman tomorrow’.

So you want creative do you?
I must think outside the box?
The shit I’ve made with cards and glue
While we were sitting out the pox.

I’m a motivational speaker
I pull solutions from the hat
I can engage an entire crowd
With the attention of a gnat.

I work straight through, I don’t take breaks
And I don’t charge double time
I adapt to situations
All the freaking time.

But I am stronger than ever and wiser
And for that I will never be glum
No career move can ever be greater
Than being promoted to ‘Mum’.