Best Funnywedding Poems
My wedding ring fell in the toilet
So I asked my wife if she'd boil it
It then burnt my hand
My own wedding band
For she thought that I asked her to broil it
Marriage is like your childhood
And learning to tie your shoe
Your wife is like your mother
Telling you what to do
She picks out your clothes every day
And says when you can watch tv
She even buys your underwear
How embarrassing this can be
She makes you eat your vegetables
Even those nasty peas
You try to feed them to the dog
And hope she never sees
She makes you take out the garbage
Just like your mama did
It brings back all the memories
When you were just a kid
So when you say your wedding vows
Try to remember this
It becomes your second childhood
Instead of wedding bliss
He did a really stupid thing on the day when he took a bride.
The nut said he did it to get in touch with his feminine side.
When he got married, he wore a wedding gown.
There was laughter from everybody around.
A man is supposed to get married in a tuxedo or a suit.
He's such a sissy that the marines wouldn't even accept him as a recruit.
When people laugh at him, he says he feels nothing but distress.
But what else can this man expect after wearing a wedding dress?
(THIS IS A FICTIONAL POEM.)
Long ago in a far away village
A wedding was being planned
Wait til I get to the end of this poem
And I'm sure you'll understand
For it's the only place that's ever been seen
Where the roses are as blue as the sky
Come to think of it everything's blue
And I'm sure you're wondering why
For in this tiny village, magic occurs
Magic of the mushroom kind
I'm not talking about phychedelic shrooms
So get that out of your mind
The wedding day had finally arrived
And Papa would give the bride away
But a villain had stolen the rose of blue
To ruin their wedding day
The villain's name was known to all
They called him Gargamel
The rose of blue was carried away
By his cat named Azrael
Now Gargamel had stolen the rose
To chase them off his turf
I'm sure by now you've figured it out
I'm talking about a smurf
Well this poem has gone on long enough
But I'm not quite finished yet
For you see, it has a happy ending
Poet smurf married Smurfette
Not for the contest.....Just for Fun
The only words a man needs to know
When he leaves his wedding day
Is yes dear and no dear while nodding his head
And of course whatever you say
It seems like men get dumber
When they put on that wedding ring
His house is not his castle
And He's no longer the king
He tells her no your're not getting fat
At least twenty times a day
And he bites his tongue til he can't even talk
When her mother comes over to stay
They say that marriage is blissful
And there's nothing greater in life
And now you know my opinion
But I still better ask my wife
Have you ever had one of those days
When nothing seems to go your way
And the night was long with noises
Please don't tell my wife what I'm about to say
You see my wife snores
More than anyone I know
She shakes the whole bed
Like a herd of buffalo
Sometimes the neighbors
Even call and complain
They say it's too much
And it drives them insane
I've tried everything I know
But all I do is fail
She even registers a 4.0
On the earthquake richter scale
One night I even tried duct tape
And wondered what would happen
She just kept right on snoring
Til the tape started flappin
But in my wedding vows
I said for better or worse
So I guess I'll just love her
And this wedding vow curse
The only words a man needs to know
When he leaves his wedding day
Is yes dear and no dear while nodding his head
And of course whatever you say
It seems like men get dumber
When they put on that wedding ring
His house is not his castle
And He's no longer the king
He tells her, "No, your're not getting fat"
At least twenty times a day
While biting his tongue 'til he can't even talk
When her mother comes over to stay
"Take out the trash and feed the dog"
"Dont forget to mow the grass"
While taking the blame for that stinky smell
Each time she passes gas
But what happened to that make-up?
It's now a thing of the past
And now she screams "Get out of bed"
"Good morning" didn't last
They say that marriage is blissful
And there's nothing greater in life
And now you know my opinion
But I still better ask my wife