Best Fees Poems
Along with other assorted mail, I received the telephone bill today.
I thoroughly examined it and discovered much to my dismay,
A bewildering assortment of taxes, fees and sundry charges.
It seems that with each passing month the confounded list enlarges!
A new fee was added called "The Low Income Phone Assistance Fund."
This was perplexing, leaving me thoroughly outraged and stunned!
Am I paying for some kid to play games and text on his cellular phone?
I'm donating seven cents for that outrageous fund - more than I condone!
I'm paying eleven cents for something called a "Facility Relocation Recovery Fee."
I suppose that goes to support another superfluous government entity!
Six bucks is the usurious rate I pay for the "Federal Access Taxation!"
Access to what, I ask? I sure would appreciate an explanation!
I'm assessed a dollar for "State and Federal Universal Service Fees."
All these taxes, fees and surcharges really put me in a squeeze!
There are more county, state and federal taxes on top of all of this.
If new fees aren't added next month, they'll surely be remiss!
In evaluating my monthly statement I've come to this conclusion:
The government, phone company and public utilities are in collusion,
Hiring hordes of MBAs to concoct taxes, fees and charges ad infinitum!
I reckon that's the cost of owning a phone - alas, we can't do without 'em!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(© All Rights Reserved)
Offered money and no any fees,
Plus a profitable, tempting term!
They are scammers, be a stern,
Banks never did the things like this.
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A teacher told class;
“I know a few years
I will die and go
give me my money,
the condolence fees
those mourners, I fear
will cheat me!”
My Shutterfly order was 48 bucks
But shipping was just under 30.
To charge such a fee for a space on the trucks
Is ridiculous and downright dirty.
I waited on hold for a live support chat
And was told there was naught they’d be doing
Except for a 5 dollar gift card, if that
Would suffice, an idea worth pooh-poohing.
Since they usually offer some deals I will wait
For I’m not in that much of a hurry
But if lots of their customers choose the same fate
Maybe corporate should start to worry.
Strive to drive out sleaze and sorrow from our race
Prospect and elect to inject laughter and love beneath and beyond the surface
Where we fly and cry to promote and devote principles in the ace
Life hands us
Enjoining us to kick out fuss
From our thought, plan, action and bus
Not only from our brain, heart but also from our cuticle
Promoting principle beyond a mere trickle
Although the spice of vice our fancy may tickle
But the culture and nature of our future
Matters more than the rapture
The pulse of impulse and its reverse aim to capture
In the intended handsome dividends
Lying yonder bends, blends and amends where friends
Strengthen our wobbling knees as we embrace trends
That focus energy and synergy on the ultimate prize
We reap in the wake of deleting and quitting sleaze
To rise in the grace and glory God grants without meting out any fatal fees.
I dream of love
like bankers dream of fees
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A song for this:
Good Luck, Babe! by Chappell Roan