Best Excuses Poems
"Excuses: A Feminine Experience"
by: Eric L. Boddie
Oh how do I Love him....let me count the ways
But I'm tired of lying to my friends....he's just going through a phase
He works so many hours so if I just get home on time
Why do I have to choose the same time as fighting to occupy his mind
All I want is his Love....let's just get the record straight
If he hadn't been through so much, I wouldn't have to see his hate
If I didn't look so sexy while in the path of other guys
If only I could see that "I Love you" is just another of his lies
If only I could be everything he wanted in a girl
One day he will see just how much I compliment his world
If only I didn't chew so loud when I'm at the table
If I could just be more understanding, he could be more stable
They tell me I should leave, but my Love says I should stay
When he says "Baby I'm sorry," he'll get better is what I Pray
Every time he hits me....pushes or shoves
I have to forgive him....just to prove my Love
Ladies please break this chain....
I didn’t mean to do it, it wasn’t me that did
I wasn’t even here that day; I think I was in Madrid.
When the power went out, it wasn’t me I know
If you make toast in the bath, that makes the power blow.
I know it can’t be me, cos I wasn’t even there
So I mean it was some one else, if you really care.
I remember it was cold that night, I didn’t have a coat
I couldn’t have done it you know, I told you in that note.
I left it there so that you would know, that I had not been near
I mean that it was after; I thought I had been seen near here.
I was going to call you, but I lost my phone today
I was really too busy, when you asked me anyway.
No I can’t come to tea, I have a prior date that day
Oh no, it’s an interview, that’s what my boyfriend said to say.
No honestly it isn’t you, the problem is really with me
I think I better go now, before my excuses you start to see.
© 3/01/2013
Contest Entry
It wasn't my fault I didn't get it done
This has been a truly horrible day
I'm telling you it sure hasn't been fun.
Oh I tried my best to do it your way
The instructions got caught up in the wind
This has been a truly horrible day
Lost from the start, with nowhere to begin
My frustration makes a whole lot of sense
The instructions got caught up in the wind.
The next thing, I'm sitting on a fence
The white pickets ripped a hole my pants
My frustration makes a whole lot of sense
You're thinking this is, just a song and dance
It wasn't my fault I didn't get it done
The white pickets ripped a hole in my pants
I'm telling you it sure hasn't been fun
Excuses Contest
I will stand up to my golieths
no more excuses will I make
I will face down my circumstances
No matter what it takes
We are living in troubled times
hatred is abound
Mass killings has become a fad
Racism is on the rebound
We are facing our golieths
Life's challenges have been thrown down
We need to stand up, no more excuses
Its time to hold our ground
It matters not the weapons nor the words
Coming at you the Lord is on your side
Don't worry about the time nor the place
Your faith will protect your hide
Don't fret about what you see before you
Don't walk just by sight
Its time to face your fears
By walking in God's light
For the battle is not just yours
God is always in the mix
Be anxious over nothing
As there's nothing He can't fix
When the enemy comes at God's children
We Christians comprehend
We are not fighting the battle alone
Nor against mere men
Principalities seen and unseen
The Holy Spirit is in battle mode
As we stand up to our golieths
Its time to lock and load
God will always sustain us
He will have our backs
And no weapon formed against us
Can prosper nor distract
Walking by faith and not by sight
Knowing I am not alone in this fight
I now take up my mantle of leadership
Wielding not a sword but just my belief
I now stand up to my golieths
No more excuses and no defeat
Has anybody ever noticed
That women are built to complain
They always ask where you've been
But they never let you explain
So here's some new excuses
That work from time to time
If you ever run out of your own
Feel free to use some of mine
I was helping an old lady 'cross the street
When she got run over by an elf
I couldn't find a doctor anywhere
So I had to do surgery myself
I passed a burning building, when a lady cried out,
"Please Mr, Save my child"
So, I shimmied up the drain pipe to rescue the kid
While the firemen just stood there and smiled
I went to the bank to deposit my check
When five men walked over in masks
I used kung fu to take them all down
Before the teller even asks
So that's my story and I'm stickin' to it
Believe what you wanna believe
It's not lying, it's only excuses
No matter what you perceive
I heard dawn's break through drowsy dreams
Its silver feet upon the roof
Eaves shiver wet, excuses spring
With murmured sounds, my reason schemes
To burrow down and doze aloof
Remembering, now, a distant place
A childhood bed, the warm embrace
to stretch my arms with no regrets
And see that place...and rainbows, yet
From crayons of time, I can't forget
I loved the rain upon the grass
Beyond the margins framed by glass.
A sense of time with mute caress,
Will find the place my soul resides
I'm still a child, and so it goes
I'll play outside in mud-drenched dress
I'll dance and play in soggy clothes
With sticky earth between my toes
My one excuse to stay in bed
to dream,....and turn my childhood loose
Lame excuses don't cut it.
Takes more than flowers to impress me.
Man up ~ say you're sorry.
Wordku: 5-7-5 words
AP: Honorable Mention 2026
With his back against a wall of steel
caught in a silken, sticky web
the cloak of guilt fits him well
mind racing, eyes darting
excuses are born!
He finds a voice
and stammers--
"It wasn’t
me"!
~*~
Darling, I didn't aim to let you down, or to leave you lonely,
I also have a frown, baby you're not the only,
I meant to hurry home, and didn't mean to take so long,
I didn't realize time had flown, please forgive me if I wrong,
Honey, I'm not one for excuses,
But I'm so sorry with regret,
And my heart sure feels so useless,
For what you're not over yet,
I did say I'd be right back, I even called you on the phone,
And my heart didn't cut me any slack, when I heard the busy tone,
Please accept my apology, honey, I haven't lied,
And if you still won't talk to me...well, at least I know I've tried,
And I'm not one for excuses,
But I'm so sorry with regret,
And my heart sure feels so useless,
For what you're not over yet,
Darling, I didn't aim to let you down, or to leave you lonely,
I also have a frown, baby you're not the only,
I meant to hurry home, and didn't mean to take so long,
I didn't realize time had flown, please forgive me if I'm wrong,
No, I'm not one for excuses,
but I'm so sorry with regret,
And my heart sure feels so useless,
For what you're not over yet,
Yes, my heart sure feels so useless,
For what you're not over yet.
Excuses
…..And spewing them forth
The inveterate loafer
Enjoys himself, while
The decent one feels squeamish
Even when he’s justified.
9th Jan 13
S.Jagathsimhan Nair
For Susan’s ‘Excuses’
No Excuses
In the midst of the present,
No excuses.
Fell down, got up
Then flight
But the bruises ache
As I turn the pages
To move on, discern
As one of lifes excuses.
Practice, appease, try to please
Yet I failed, Time and time again
Possibilities pass me by
And I thought
Picked a wrong card.
I cheated, lost
But I could find
One of lifes excuses.
Felt love, lost love
Heaven above.
The thrust, the lust
All embracing
Till I got the rush
Feeling the force of the crush
Caught a diamond
But a busted flush
To my disappointment
I had to run
In the arms
Of lifes excuses.
Profession of music, geometry
Physics and Biology
Bisect,disect, Fusion of intellect
Expanding virtues of trials and failures
But there is the revision,
The safety Of lifes excuses
Height is not an issue
But today I got introduced to a nasty verbal stew
It was this one bullish kind of comment
Of odium and torment
Initially I thought, it was human nature
Coming from a relative who is short in stature
The tyrant venting with a curse
A sheer case of moral shortsightedness
‘Conquer the whole world and lose your own soul’
Egoistic pride becoming his ultimate goal
I wish He could really be a mentor
For when there is troubling waters, he steers the young to the shore
His ignorance makes me very very angry
I pray that of this treacherous plot, I am set free
If I were not 'born again' in Christ and he were a watermelon
I swear my words would have been a sharp knife and his mouth a cracked gallon
Spider-man, he definitely is not
Being a woman, I Wonder why he insists on making Fijian ‘lovo’ in a foreign pot
My family counselor said ‘it is the short man's syndrome’
********! Sheer ignorance; fact is, from childhood, he hasn't mentally grown.
If Peter Piper picked a pack of pickled peppers, would you care?
Would the peck be put in a glass jar? What if he dropped a hair in there?
And, if Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet digging
and found the jar that Piper had hidden in the muck,
along side the skull of Cro-Magnon man?
“Ahhh, NO we’ve found the hip girdle and he’s a she!”
Well, ole Pipper’s pecker would have gone to the pie in the sky
and Miss Muffet’s tuffet would have gone to compost;
So, how would the archeologist know for sure? "
Why the HIP, you hafta have hips, miles and miles and mile of hips…
Baby you can be a hero of course just put that ‘orse behind the cart!”
Heart, well it’s left the building too. “Geeezzz it was just a pump
whatcha want from a pump?” Thump, thump, from the bump, bump,
then ya hump, hump, and my goodness, we’re back to Peter Piper and his pecker?
“NO, no, his peck of pickles and Muffet’s missin’ tuffet?
Well, I say the stars, yes the stars, show the way,
the celestial meaning of the id, the I, the you, the ego too,
and love “Ahhhhhh love the excuse for it all!”
The pickles, the muffins, the tuffet, the bumping the humpin’
The free for all of we!
I forgot.
I didn't understand.
Those aren't my shoes.
My name is not Stephon, it's Henry.
I don't ski.
I have the flu.
How was I suppose to know that was your carpet?
No, that's not my dog.
Do I look like I wanna be in Cuba?
The reason I ate the last truffle was because I bought them myself.
It's not my fault I'm angry! You got me this way!
I certainly didn't know about the volcano.
Do I look like a scientist to you?
You peed on me first.
I didn't say that.
I have a headache.
I wasn't listening.
You weren't listening.
I don't know.
I'm color-blind.
- Matt Caliri
I was born a
Sinner
It does not mean
I have to stay a
Sinner
Stop making excuses