Best Epsom Poems

Men dressed in top hats and tails
Ladies in designer dresses and fascinators,
Bookmakers standing by the rails
Taking bets singles or accumulators,

Epsom downs, Derby day classic
The best...

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Inspired by Joseph Mays limerick contest.
(not for contest )
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A mischievous chef known as McMurray 
For a joke put Epsom salts in the curry
The toilet door...

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Oh, you can’t have sex after seventy
Your children just wouldn’t approve
And if your neighbours found out 
You’d probably have to move

No, you can’t have sex...

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She's thirty-three, single,
her Mom babysits her
five year old son.
She reassures herself it's
just two more hours,
then it's the blessed weekend.
Which means delicious sleep.
She has no nest...

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He was out of Woodie Wonder by the stallion Sunset Hue, 
A freak thought breeding purists, who would surely end up glue. 
For greys were...

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Mama said Vitamin D was a cure-all
Basking in sunshine in the coldest winter
With sneezes, chest congestion and much coughing
I wrestled in red wood chairs getting...

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Ned was grandma's billy goat, 
The meanest goat in town; 
Every time you crossed his path, 
He'd try to butt you down!

Buddy was our neighbor,...

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My brother was first at the table
to pile six pancakes on his plate.
I don’t know how he stayed so skinny
given the enormous amount that he...

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Clippity Cloppity
    Emily Davison
    confronted race horses
    losing her life

    dissident suffragette
 ...

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We're all ingredients in the humanity stew
The sad clowns
The prescription abusers
The chickens running around without their heads

This dish can never be out done
It's killing me
Ashes...

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I stand erect with outstretched hand
 Representing liberty,  for many,  a foreign land
 My fire dances an incessant jubilant glow
 Pungent salts mixed...

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BUDGERY JIM
About the 1880s Joe came to the Hebel area...
He passed by an Aboriginal camp...
Saw one sick man a lying there..
Bad food gave him the...

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BUDGERY JIM
About the 1880s Joe came to the Hebel area...
He passed by an Aboriginal camp...
Saw one sick man a lying there..
Bad food gave him the...

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Pansies and Deer

No matter what I planted and suppose
There will be a place where a weed grows
And then all of my lawn as I look...

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MIRROR INSANITY


ready
aim
fire

at your eye

now
don’t
miss

magnify

small
dirt
speck

repeat repeat repeat

until
your
tongue

falls from your cheek

wipe
away
hearts

they’re too red

soak
your
face

in epsom salts

don’t
breathe
in

arousing fumes

you
might
wake
up


3/6/2017...

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