Mama Said
Mama said Vitamin D was a cure-all
Basking in sunshine in the coldest winter
With sneezes, chest congestion and much coughing
I wrestled in red wood chairs getting splinters
Mama said prayer was the best road to good health
Pews in our church were infested by termites
Incense gave me headaches and caused me to tear
The old chapel was an entryway to last rights
Mama said to soak bee stings in Epsom salts
But that never stopped the pain or the swelling
Her next best solution was pure iodine
When poured on a wound, neighbors heard me yelling
Mama said many things that now seem senseless
Doctors propose treatments even more bizarre
So now I sit confined to my room each day
Afraid of what I'll catch if I stray too far
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