Mama Said

Mama said Vitamin D was a cure-all Basking in sunshine in the coldest winter With sneezes, chest congestion and much coughing I wrestled in red wood chairs getting splinters Mama said prayer was the best road to good health Pews in our church were infested by termites Incense gave me headaches and caused me to tear The old chapel was an entryway to last rights Mama said to soak bee stings in Epsom salts But that never stopped the pain or the swelling Her next best solution was pure iodine When poured on a wound, neighbors heard me yelling Mama said many things that now seem senseless Doctors propose treatments even more bizarre So now I sit confined to my room each day Afraid of what I'll catch if I stray too far