Best Embarassing Poems
Lost time doesn’t circulate
I was having a hard time finding my light switch in the dark
Colorful, temporary
Grey, permanent
Sore calves and heavy head
Tisses and black shoelaces
I’m 18, and I don’t feel well enough to get up before 2pm
One was too familiar with female anatomy
Shrunken embroidery, spilt detergent
A lisp through the walls
You can feel it now, in the side of your neck
I got 5 hours on Wednesday night
Inability to not do tasks thoroughly
My right eye feels like it’s falling down torwards my left
Ear plugs, melatonin, darkness
How far am I from Earth’s core
Have I corrupted anyone?
It’s still the same but I can control myself
We have a thousand starting points
Everything loses its purity
Everything loses its purity
I don’t water what I’ve already grown
I own acres of land, filled with barely sprouted crop
What is it, if not the individual
Wait for yourself and it won’t go backwards
I’m still here and haven’t gotten much done
I find comfort in discomfort
I will choose to be alone
It’s hard to grasp enthusiasm
I’m angry because I’m foggy headed
Pulse fixation
I don’t think it’s an issue
1,851 on the 17th, 1,740 on the 18th
Fixation on the non-existent or previously existing
Ignorance torwards the currently existing
An ongoing cycle of desire and watered-down hate
Ego, rising and falling
There’s some races you don’t need to restart
Being seen makes me feel vunerable
But I’d rather not direct a world of my own
I dread making decisions
The bad, embarassing thing
Static surrounded shadows
Craved only when reminded
I wish I was a force of some sort
I don’t know if that was part of the reason then, and I don’t know if it is now
It invariably shifted at all hours
There were time slots
Parts of my mind fall asleep so that others can awaken
Behind the walls of shame
I discovered makeup when I was lost and weary, it took me to heart and hid all the scars I had.
I discovered sunglasses when I felt ashamed of my brown eyes,they all said I was a stoner way before...
I started adoring my clothes when I realised they could coverup all my flaws and shapeless shapes.
I began to adore my shoes when I was enlightened to the ruthless embarassing routes my feet took.
I became more concerned with my hair because I could tell it revealed the secrets my head is battling with.
My lips became the source of my malice and demise, they uttered the most valgur truth so I painted them pink,red,purple and more.
I chose to wipe my bruised arm with all the cheap jewellery I owned 'cause I couldnt let them see...
My hands were bloody so I dipped my fingernails in red nailpolish.
Now that am in exile in my own skin and behind all this material beings I'll holdon to my panties and only take them off to pee and bath..
Who am I to blasphem so..
LOST FRIENDSHIPS (Satis Shroff)
When old friends
Go asunder,
What remains
Are memories,
Of moments
In tranquility.
When world tremble
And words shiver,
When lips vibrate
And nothing comes out
Of your larynx.
Just the uneasy
Breath from your nostrils.
The silence and solitude
That prevails,
When friendships
Have lost their meanings.
Encounters,
Wiedersehen,
Become embarassing.
And words become superfluous.
The old wounds bleed again,
Causing pain,
That come like sea waves,
Incessantly,
Stab and go.
* * *
© Satis Shroff. All rights reserved
I remember in kindergarten,
I and a few friends were put on the yellow light,
the light of shame, for playing tic-tac-toe on the Spanish room tables.
oh shame, shame, shame...
In first grade, I miss that teacher, Zoellner fell asleep in calss,
we yelled and screamed to wake him up, he started snoring.
If I remember correctly, second grade was when I got locked in the
janitor's closet, and banged on the door for help.
In third grade, we smile to remember, Samantha
got up on the table, and took her shirt off,
waving it like a banner around her head.
Fourth grade, a turning point in my life,
we used play money to buy stuff our moms donated-I spent $325
on something my own mom donated-how embarassing.
Fifth grade was the year we all argued over the name of the class lizard,
Humphrey, Simba, or Geiko? We duked it out,
and Humphrey was known forever more.
Sixth grade was the year I fell in love,
my first real taste of it, and I was scarred forever after...
Seventh grade was the year of the scud,
and the little guys were everywhere,
on notebooks, bookcovers, and even in permanent marker on my shoulder.
And eighth grade, my final year at that school,
might end well, I know will learn from it,
I did learn one thing throughout all these years.
I will miss it.
Embarrassing Moment’s
Hilarious Now But Not Funny Then
Embarrassing moment…. when you realize
Everyone is staring and snickering at me when
I walked out the bathroom with a long peace of toilet paper trailing behind me stuck to my underwear.
I wish someone would have been kind enough to let me know before I walked out of the public bathroom.
Embarrassing moment…. when you realize
A man is giving me dirty looks
because
I’m so preoccupied texting on my cell phone that I walked into a men’s bathroom that was occupied
True embarrassing moment’s stories
10/16/2015
Contest: MOST EMBARASSING MOMENT
Sponsored By: Mystic Rose
Our Day Out
Our day out to Wales in the Summer of 1981
In car temperature soars that alike to Lebanon,
Not like the previous year of 1980
When temperatures where more akin to Haiti.
Mark one Cortina of a family friend
Seven of us packed in till journeys end.
Car fumes dilute with stale tree air freshener,
Musky heat smell windows barely ajar
Stomach turns, nausea kicks in
Travel sickness arrives
Pull over the car!
Our Welsh arrival is welcomed by rain
Without this a trip here would never be the same
Ridiculous wellies at the ready and embarassing kagool
Not much different from a day out with school!
Countless gift shops adorn the cobbled streets
Each one identical to the last
Welsh towels, traditional dolls and kiss me quick hats.
These cobbled streets stem the flow of insessent driving rain
Forecast of sun will speed up its refrain,
The break up of clouds and retreat of welsh dragon brollies
Cuts to a sweltering waterfront and melting ice lollies.
Old people hog seafront benches
Cool bags of sandwiches
Some ham some cheese
Cold flasks of teas
Making mockery of the seafront heat
Tartan blankets on knees!
Jingle jangle of keys stating Cymru
Signalling the end of our day out and seaview
Its back to the car and our cramped journey home,
Bank holiday traffic roadworks and cones.
In years to come i would appreciate this place
Beauty on our doorstep Escape from big city pace
Castles of interest, Proud national heritage
More fascinating with age
Its even the place i was to become engaged!
So thanks to my parents for those painful days out
Thankyou to Wales for showing me what you are about
Days out and camping
Coastlines for miles
You have brought me much joy
Rain hail or shine
Copyright
S Rose
There are times in life that make you think,
Then there are others that make you drink.
As a man I experienced both at an early age
Here's the tale, so I'll set the stage.
An Archeologist was what I wanted to be,
Only to have it turn into an embarassing moment for me.
The King Tut exhibit had come to town,
Some friends asked if I would like to go down.
Being single, I didn't want to be a "5th Wheel",
They said, "No problem...another girl would agree with the deal."
So we planned the Museum trip with great care,
Me most of all, as this new girl would soon be there.
I was anticipating having a great time,
With these friends and one they made sound so sublime.
They picked me up that morning in their car,
The drive to this gal's house was not that far.
At the appointed time we pulled up front of her house,
I don't remember, but I must have been as jittery as a mouse.
Then out she came, this beautiful, freckled, red head,
At that moment my thoughts raced and heart sped.
It was a cool day so the windows were down,
When suddenly my joy of meeting her caused a frown.
When she saw me in the back of the car as she peered in,
She said one thing..."I'm not goin' ".
She turned on her heal with no reason for the spurn,
Ran back to her house and never even turned.
I was as crushed as I could be,
But it was the best thing that could have happened to me.
Because the gal that set up the date,
Eventually became my true soulmate.
Host Nation Crass Action
It is downright embarassing to review a viral video clip...
Of a group of black attired chanting in unison to a beat...
Presumably they were out in full force as soccer fans...
Easily overwhelming the rival team and their travelling fans..
In their misbegotten zest to show ardent support to the national team...
They forgot about common courtesy and sportsmanship and behave so ugly...
They were dancing and chanting insulting phrases and unpleasant things...
Reviewing such a video clip and knowing they are fellow Malaysians, I am ashamed..
How much about Singapore do they really know, that they have to show....
Their animalistic bestiality in singing, Singapore Itu Anjing...
So very disappointing to see this, when it is merely a football match...
How could this ever has to come about, how could a host nation's fans be so crass....
Could it be decades of much lauded supremacy in race and religion in this nation...
Plus jealousy and animosity from unbridled misinformation about the Singapore nation....
That brings out this shameful animosity in crowd behaviour from a host nation...
The Singaporean nation has spurted head and shoulders ahead as a prosperous nation..
While the Malaysian nation has descended down the dregs of economy as if in a comedy show...
Whither comes this open hostility to belittle and intimidate the national team from Singapore...
O, Where is the graciousness and sportsmanship befitting of our nation...
Or has the scourge of acceptable corruption blurred the values of this nation????
Update:
https://www.nst.com.my/sports/football/2017/10/297479/fam-cough-us56000-fines-offences-asian-cup-qualifiers-kuala-lumpur
Hohoho...
How it stings, when fans, players, coach and and FAM are punished for misbehaving...
Will this be the lesson to to mind all and sundry the need for sportsmanship...
Yes, folks, it's happened again; the trash compactor backed up and spewed out
all the following nonsense;
How come you only hear the term "scutch" in a hospital? "Come on scutch on
over to the gurney.' And that word, gurney, sounds like a 12 year old baseball
player.
I don't get no respect!! Even the devil is trying to exorcize me from my home!
And my mailman, he knows about my financial problems, he just tosses my bills
in the trash, with a jolly smirk. I wanted to go to the Army to go to Irag- they said,
yeah, sure, and they paid my fare to Osama Bin Laden's Camp!
For Valentines' Day I get Sympathy cards!! I cook hot meals for my dog, but he
won't eat them, after he sees how sick I get from them.
I love thunder and lightning- everyone tells me If I get struck, it'll be my closest
experience to being alive.
I told my girlfriend, the ex-bride of Frankenfuter, that I ordered an organ. She said,
"Good"- she's tired of feeling like a nun. Then she asked me to teach it to her
brother!!
This is true, and truely embarassing; no one ever told me how to put on a
prophelactic- I unrolled it first. The torture was so bad I gave up sex for ten years.
(And unfortunately, my potential partners extented that for another ten!)
How come VCRs only work at 12:00?
Every Ambulance I take, the drivers make me pull it! And they want me to carry
them on the stretcher. Then there is that "Bath Fitter" commercial, it might be just
local, I don't know...These guys put new plastic facings over tubs, shower walls,
etc. But, what I don't seem to understand, this woman, homemaker, comments
that she's so pleased, whenever she has company, or any visitors, the first thing
she always does, and seemingly, ever did, upon their arrival, was to take them to
her bathroom for a tour.....Am I missing something here? I sure ain't gonna' visit
HER!!! She ought to be examined....
I always thought a parody was a talking bird with marginal school grades.
And so we end for the night, sleep tight....
I coincide with my fear
for that's how it began
not everybody seems to like it
but this is who I am
is it my learning curve trough
when I can barely stand
to see the damage
as such eclipsed reflections
ever seem to manage
Caught up in a daze
when no one is amazed
seeing the same old miracles
get boring around the way
keep the old memories
locked under heavy guarded key
when they are needed
unlocked, they now are driving
I still trust myself
far more than I do you
a hesitant resident to the evil
of for which I have no use
if I'm a danger
where lies your proof?
forever lacking
like my substance, abused
It's all a facade
when I involve
everyone's problems
while mine go unresolved
maybe just hidden
not fully denied
at least I embrace them
as yours eat your insides
As I seldom make sense
struggling towards safe
I would settle for distorted
at least I'm used to the grey
that enters as static
often hard to translate
if your listening closely
to the frequency of my hate
As our eyes meet, paralyzation
they cannot believe
the others fixation
in this, we witness
an intense exchange
as we wonder the question
we come off strangely the same
True friends, I found
need no explanation
or apologize to forgive
their embarassing frustrations
just a certain understanding
motives not lacking in action
as we ask ourselves in unison
Did that really just happen?
I was seven ~ war coming on
living with aunts, uncles ~ parents divorced anon
the church I walked to ~ the road seemed long
in Minnesota ~ not woe be gone!
A Catholic school, name of Saint, nuns to teach their way
I was given a chore ~ first grader, to explore
"feed the goldfish" each and every day
my stomach growled, no food along the way!
I snuck a tiny bit and chewed
the wafer tasted wan, no flavor good
a twinge of guilt, not understood,
this was a curious interlude!
I did excuse my hunger's breech,
and mustered onward for the teach!
then years of learning, constant, same
'til finally my big day came!
The first Communion, dressed to take
white shoes, socks, veil for my sake
all shyness, but now I belong
I'm here and marching with the throng!
The priest with golden cup, signalling again
he handed me a wafer, round & white & trim
spoke, placing in my mouth, Body of Christ in Him
my moment up, arose from kneeling then.
It had no real flavor, & melted on my tongue
"it tastes the same as fish food"
I wondered what I'd done ~
it must be some occasion, to teach me right from wrong!
A hungry child in quest of food
then spiritual trek's renown
now, later years, abruptly all seems gone
embarassing moments, where conscience seems to spawn!
I've never stolen outright
just trivia here & there,
like extra soap in hotels,
and sugar packs, lunch fares!
Some queeziness reminds me,
what makes a thief get on
by hoarding others treasures
forfeiting from where they've come!
-cont'd-
I guess Lord, that's a lesson
the smallest feet guilt numbs
and on my pride's occasion
I wanted just to run!
The conscience's not a ration
it's vibrant, life, not pawn
the smallest errors echo
truth's hidden challenge fawns!
Embarassing
and swiftly simple
Easy...
only a few
quips and foul jokes
swiped your soul
and you had no idea
you rubbed shoulders
with a mental giant
whose gout got out of hand
did that guy really ask
to be stabbed with a
toothpick?
I already computed the
ends and means analysis
when you said your name
and rejection of the null
was the outcome
Glad we could only entertain
each other's ears
with thinly disguised venom
and sarcasm fell off my tongue
like droplets from a
calcified faucet
"talk to you manana"
more like
never, man
"thanks for the smoke"
I have to spill my guts
It has been on my mind
It is making me quite nuts
My rooster has a problem
It is so hard to say
Just please don't laugh at him
He's OCD!!
He paces back and forth
Counting every step to a tee.
Three up
Three back
Three up
Three back!
There is no help to be
The worse you see
He has plucked
And plucked yes he
Is naked as can be!!
You don’t look very intelligent, when embarassing a fellow poet!
1/19/2024
He was a free-spirited chap from the day of his birth.
Even his long-suffering folks doubted he'd be of much worth!
His name was Billy Bob, his mischief became town lore;
With those in authority he had a very dismal rapport!
Each Saturday night he'd go on a stupendous binge,
Embarassing the gentle folk of town causing them to cringe!
At the Baptist Church picnic he slipped gin in the punch.
The sheriff and his boys were called to quell the rowdy bunch!
He roared down Main Street in his ramshackle truck.
People cheered him on, cops pursued, 'til he ran out of luck!
He wasn't a mean-spirited lad, simply the town ne'er-do-well.
In the hoosegow, the jailer reserved his own special cell!
A delegation was formed and they lectured him stern.
He was advised to leave town and never return!
To ensure that he, their fair village would ne'er more malign,
On all roads leading to town was posted this sign:
"This is the birthplace of Billy Bob of dubious renown.
Years ago the scoundrel was run out of town.
Dare he return we'll toss him in jail,
Without the benefit of judge, jury or bail!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired (© All Rights Reserved)