Best Easy As Pie Poems | Poetry

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The Best Easy As Pie Poems

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A New Football Season

A New Football Season

Fall football season has finally come upon us,
It’s time for wives across the nation to raise a fuss.
This usually happens once each year,
From the beginning of the season, ‘til the last cheer.

No one knows what makes them hate this game,
Maybe it’s the gender that we should blame.
An easy chair, a coke and turn on the set,
An exciting football game is as good as it can get.

All the wives are on a shopping spree,
When they come home there will be an afternoon tea.
We want to patronize them any way we can,
This way they have fallen into our game plan.

We try very hard to keep them satisfied,
But they’re out to spoil our game, they won’t be denied.
No more game today, I sit out in the yard with my T.V.,
I look over and see my clothes are right beside me.

She tossed me out just as easy as pie,
I never knew that she could be so spry.
Now the season is over, it’s come to an end,
She allowed me to come home so I could begin to mend.

©2010 Lynn B. Glover

Copyright © Lynn Glover | Year Posted 2014

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Dancing Shimmy with Jimmy

My lala mal flats is skinking like that
Shimmy, Jimmy, gimme some of that hat
We're fleshing and flexing, cheek to cheek
meshing, on do-own
Shimmy, little Jimmy will ya break a my heart?

My pushaloopa swish swash skirt
gonna twirl you, swirl you, send you out a this world
Shimmy, Jimmy, don't you walk out on me,
Lay me low, down, lay me easy as pie
Shimmy, little Jimmy, got you by the tip of my nail

Oooh, baby, snickle down by my side,
shake it up, shake it down, and well shimmy
Ah, Jimmy, we skip and twirl like a pair
Your so sply, full eye, so debonair
I flutter and flatter and take to the air.

Shimmy little Jimmy, we can dance out of here
go on for ever, sasashaying praying and snicking
faster than we care. Oooh, play it blue, play it cool
Gonna wind up around you, get you all hot,
Oooh, play it baby, shimmy and skinny and dance out of here.

Copyright © Sheri Fresonke Harper | Year Posted 2014

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Pulling the Wool Over Mamma's Eyes

Pulling the Wool Over Mamma's Eyes Mamma's eyes were as big as the moon and a nose like a hound When her children sins were black as night The hound lost its scent and she became blind as bat They could pull the wool over her eyes as easy as pie
12/30/2015 Poetry Contest: WOOL Sponsored by: C. T.

Copyright © Eve Roper | Year Posted 2015

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Easy Cheesy

EASY CHEESY AND EASY AS PIE are not really so easy
Peach, pumpkin, plum perfection-Pie
Always Alliteration and Anchovies
Wouldn't work in a good Pie
Banana, coconut, and blueberry cream Pie 
Works well, while whiting and wax won't work well in Pie

Poetry and alphabet soup should work well---
In theory, then time to text talk turns
Telephone talking tedious
SAFE TEXTING while driving turns out to 
be an oxymoron, Along With Safe Text Sexing 
While intoxicated and driving....

***The guilty do not need to testify, unless you have a really funny story associated with the texting?!!

For the Alliteration contest with Oxymorons --  Let me know if this fits the pattern.

Copyright © Doris Culverhouse | Year Posted 2010

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lessons in making poets celebrities im gonna die in poverty HELP

imcallingjapan will show youtube poets how its done in this poem to
ressurect your own literary saviours like a mediapope
saying aint life tweet
internet poetry corner speed dating coffeeshops
to find the right music making software versus free liabilities
take your time thanking me for showing you
how to be a success
at your photobucket slideshows
like a myspace objecttocrave
stumble upon my techno porn like a god of funk
it can be done

notes on notes of notes
to sing the songs of a thousand birds sing

vote after vote after vote of life changing abstract dreams

80 families waiting to cash in on their paintings
and now you can thank me for your exposure
as i stumble upon the deck stacked in my favor
to meet the people who inspired me like a poetrypoem friend
met through a shadowfiend

easy as pie
recipe for success
this candid camera screw up kissing our nightmares goodbye

Your dumb if you dont work on this
to cash in on your talkents wether through hallmark, music, or advertising

your welcome
like a hollywood lemonaid stand for the people who made the most lemons
out of lifes lemonaid

Copyright © Troy Jeremy Nelson | Year Posted 2011

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Expectations of the newly wed
Are higher than the sky,
To live in passion until they're dead
With life as easy as pie.

Expectations change with the years.
A more subdued view is found.
Through the ups and downs, smiles and tears
We expect our love to stick around.

Expectations years after the vow
Revolve around loyalty and trust.
Love is rarely mentioned now
But companionship is a must.

We expect our mate to be true
And to be there by our side.
To comfort us when we're blue
And till the end of days abide.

Those expectations of our youth
We've forgotten along the way.
We've settled for a different truth,
That the romance doesn't always stay.

for Paula Swanson's "Meeting Expectations " contest

Copyright © Francine Roberts | Year Posted 2011

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Sign a Petition to Stop FGM- Follow Up to my Girl Rising Poem

Dear Soupers, some of you have read my piece on FGM….Female Genital Mutilation for Richard Lamoureux’s Contest: Girl Rising. One of you has suggested signing a petition so that this grievous practice will be stopped. I’m happy to inform you that something IS being done by my church organization in the enditnow campaign. The Women’s Ministries Department of the SDA church along with ADRA (Adventist Development and Relief Agency), a non-profit organization, have banded together to get petitions signed to bring about awareness about this awful practice so that steps can be taken to outlaw it in many African countries. You CAN sign and be a part of it. The letter you will be signing is going to the Secretary General of the United Nations, Ban Ki-Moon. Yes...all the way to the TOP! I JUST NOW signed and it is as easy as pie! Please...take a stand.

Here is the link: Please check it out if you want to speak out for those whose voices are not heard.

Love and prayers,

Eileen M Ghali

Copyright © Eileen Manassian | Year Posted 2013

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What is life?is it lying to people that are counting on you being there for them? Is it flinching their back and talking about them even if they are right there with you?  Is it having someone you just met looking at you and them calling you their friend and then they up and leave you hanging? Why must this darn hard and painful? 

Life is hard, life is painful, life isn't always easy as pie.. but people always say, hang in there and deal with it..well sometimes I don't want to deal with being hurt all the time, when I find out I have crossed the line, again, because I wasn't taught how to obey boundaries, and to respect others, how can I be held accountable for something I never was taught.

My shell I want to shed, but yet it's a safe place to bed, for I was there for most of my life, it's all I knew for most of my young and adult life.   Shall I come out to the world and see if I get hurt or stay inside the shell and say oh well, the choice is hard,  for either way I go, I will be ridiculed. 

I see an bald eagle soaring high above, he is so free, soaring high in the clear blue sky, they are liking for a safe place to nest,maybe I will offer it my shell, because at least something that majestic meaningful, will have a safe home, because I have decided to leave this earth,  for life is about being 're_birthed..

Copyright © Jennifer Donnay | Year Posted 2015

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The Funny Side

The funny side of life is for everyone Open your mind, greet each day with a pun It's easy as pie Just give it a try Might wind up on television making tons

Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2017

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Expert but understated taciturn lone hero
Sherlock Holmes fiddling with a violin solo
Then James Bond  then Richard Boone
Then Terminator and Bruce Lee (died too soon)
But today’s hero is the computer guy
Who can fix your machine easy as pie.
Unspeaking, he arrives in casual jeans, with pliers
Small screwdrivers and a pocketful of wires. 
Wants no chit chat, just fiddles with motherboard
And such for a half hour without a word.
Then he disappears in a white van  -
Say. . . who was that silent man?   
Your problem he can unravel :
Have mouse will travel.

Copyright © Sidney Beck | Year Posted 2011

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People love to lie for it is as easy as pie
But some people cannot tolerate lies
They swat at them like flies 
Lies are easy but as it is it makes some people queasy
Once a liar, always a liar it is so dire
Lying will not earn you respect it will get you neglect
Lies are crap they make a trap
Keep lying and see what it gets you I swear it will not be pretty
It is very shitty to be witty so keep getting pity
Lies are very crappy so don’t disappoint your pappy
Bottom line is NEVER LIE!
it will cause your mommy to cry

Copyright © Thomas Durham III | Year Posted 2015

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Life near death

Fear I have going to the quack, knowing my life is in their hands
The moment I was told to register for a simple snip
In and out in a flash, easy as pie  
To waking up and realizing something is defective
Hearing antibiotics, damaged my blood line 
Only tasting blood, taking it in
Like a vampire
Trying to stay alive, blood bag after bag
For no one felt my tarnish
No one saw my soul, leave this world
Has I sat in my grave and fought threw my spirits
Whispering to my soul
Feeling robbed of life
Putting trust in their hands 
Rottenness reports took my voice
 I put my life in their hands
Until heaven raindrops, touched my body
Bringing me air to breathe, near death 
Taking my life out their grave
Life near death, is no more
No more
Life near death is not my nest
It's my time to rest

Copyright © Delilah Ventura | Year Posted 2014

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Lost In Space

I wander alone and feel shame, 
The empty Broadway calls, 
In the dirty neon streets 
Desolation descends, befalls.

I ponder alone and her name 
Rabbit punches in my head, 
That she writhes in cuckold sheets 
With someone else instead.

Nothing is ever the same, 
Drink and think the worst, 
A temporal pulse it beats 
In rhythm and tempo cursed.

I wander lost and grow lame 
In spaces yawning wide, 
Memory loops and repeats 
Tormenting deep inside.

Still, I can manage to claim 
I mastered her abyss, 
Plucked victories out of defeats 
And know now what she is.

In winning he lost the game, 
For I took her easy as pie, 
He belongs to the queen of cheats 
Until he may wise-up and die.

Until then I will remain
Waiting for justice to own
The turning tide she meets
When she reaps everything she has sown.

Copyright © Tony Bush | Year Posted 2005

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You can't see through me because my soul gets in the way

You can't see through me,  
My soul gets in the way.  
Good intentions can be easily identified upon my handkerchief that you call a sleeve.  
Fear hides in front of my goodness.  
Laziness puts off the perfect.  
A perfection that is beyond possible.  
As easy as pie... 
My soul is in turmoil.  
Turn that cheek or lend that seat.   
I'm so far beyond my core beliefs that only yesterday seemed steadfast.  
People used to say.  
"You're a great guy!" 
I believed them for quite sometime. 
Until one day I asked myself;  
"What have I actually done that is so freaking great?" 
Not a damn thing!  
Sure, I have always had good intentions.  
I mean, well, I guess what I am trying to say is  
I mean well.  
But good intentions don’t ge the job done.  
And at the end of each day when I lay my head down to rest.  
I sleep alone with my own self.  
You can't see through me because my soul gets in the way. 

Copyright © Ir0nic ZiNk | Year Posted 2016

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Life line

 But she sees things 
In a different light
Where most would land
She takes flight

What seems simple to most
She couldn’t quite master
Her peers, on a float
She’s climbing a ladder

Some things, however,
Come easy as pie
She’s witty and clever
She sees the big why

A word generator 
And charmer to boot
High class negotiator
And a looker too

An artist of course
A starving dreamer
Acknowledged the source
Friendly demeanor 

Sprucing up the world
With aesthetic hues
Such a colorful girl
Liberal views

Never an outcast 
In her circle
Her horizons vast
From yellow to purple

Her equivalent bubble
Housed all walks of life
For, she knows the struggle
Of balancing the line

Copyright © Anna Hopper | Year Posted 2017

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So many things have changed with life
I just dont know how things could go right
I feal like every day that goes bye that nothing
could just go easy as pie
my life has never been perfect
But there is one thing that keeps me the way that I am
my childern are what make me me
I do not think I could have made it this far but god sent me my shining stars
I do not understand how something so little could be so big in life changes are just a
part of life

Copyright © Tia Albizu | Year Posted 2010

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Halloween in Hobbitsville


Its Halloween in Hobbitsville, its time to grab your axe and drill.
Head up to the local barn, where everyones sure to get a thrill.
Little Susie all dressed in black, holds her gun and half filled sack.
She taps Johnny on the shoulder, almost giving him a heart attack.

They both head out to Tuckers creek, where dog tails is what they seek.
Wind is still and the night is young, candy in their mouth its hard to speak.
Johnny falls down and breaks his leg, he tripped over a hearty keg.
Susie laughs and says suck it up, get on your feet and start to beg.

Dog tails all over the place, blood on the trees that can fill up a case.
Susie gets greedy and grabs her gun, shoots Johnny filling the space.
By herself now with the dog tails in hand, everyone will understand.
Back at the barn she tells them the story, easy as pie, smooth as sand.

Out go the lights, no-one can see, someone hits Susie with a branch from a tree.
screams abrupt then soon end, A knife is in Susie no longer shes free.
Everyone dances and goes on feeling woozy, a night of fun that was a doozy.
Halloween in Hobbitsville a strange little town, that no longer has Johnny or small little Susie

Copyright © Jasmine Cruz | Year Posted 2014

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Still Got Grass To Mow

Things that used to be easy as pie Are now a struggle, my shoes to tie Am I nearing the end Flowers you should send But still got limericks to write before my goodbye

Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2017

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As Kooky As Me

Silly today as silly as can be Easy as pie, I'm sure you'll agree Just think outrageous It's really contagious You'll certainly be as kooky as me

Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2017

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Do I Know You

I like to play a game
With family and friends
And pretend that we've never met

Give it a try 
It's easy as pie
You'll leave them all scratching their heads

They'll say I know you
As you exclaim that's not true
On that I am willing to bet

I do believe 
This is the first you've seen me
A secret that hasn't been kept

They may lose their cool 
As they scream I KNOW YOU
Till they're about out of breath

With a look on their face
As they try and relate
With the nonsense that's being said

It's loads of fun
To have them wondering
Just where their mind is at

I'm sure that you'll find
If you try it sometime
That you too will confuse family and friends

Copyright © Mike Hauser | Year Posted 2016

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It looks like home,
that pint size village
in the heart of Jersey, 
teased hair and the Sopranos are so thick with memories,
that even the Robins are fatter.

It feels like home,
riding my bike on flat streets, 
easy as pie to pedal 
as the timely fall foliage creates it's own 

It smells like home,
the grease filled diners
on the routes next to the interstate,
lure in weary travelers,
french fries
drowning in gravy that's thick as soup,
erodes resistance to caloric intake. 

It sounds like home,
the locusts that appear after a decade,
their buzz like construction of a fairy kingdom, 
reflecting the slow breath of the locals,
who secured their plots in the local graveyard
decades before the real estate boom.

Copyright © Kathryn Sweeney | Year Posted 2018