Best Drive Off Poems
The paintings where discovered in an old barn
The crime of the century
All six paintings masterpieces
All the locals where questioned at length and width
No one had but a single clue
Except for the local art dealer
He whispered to the inspector
I saw a very colorful van
Drive off in the night
It was not someone from around here inspector
The inspector asked Theo, did you hear anything?
The art dealer replied I am hard of hearing you see
Upon which he proffered a flask from his breast pocket
I think Vincent lives near there, off you go and ask him
When the inspector sought out this new witness
He was no where to be found
They suspected it was his van
In conclusion
Vincent Van Gogh
And was never found
Notes: In America we pronounce his name Van Go, not Van Goff
Categories:
drive off, art, humor, paris,
Form:
Free verse
I look at you and I don't want you
Stopped needing your kiss and touch
Needed you to love me for me
Tried to get you to do your part
Make memories and cherish those made
Buried in depression
Covered in guilt and pain
Still I stayed
Looking for a way out
Wanting to be anywhere but here
Going across the bridge I want to drive off
Fly into the sky
Fall into the river below
'Til death do us part
Categories:
drive off, depression, husband, life,
Form:
Anger is an alarm to the inner beast,
With clenched fists and teeth,
Slowly drawing hefty breaths,
Biting into words and stamping the floor beneath
He’s deformed and blind, thoughtless and irrational,
How do you tame him? Food, shower or electric shock?
How do you stop him from breaking knuckles and clocks ? Lock
Him in isolation, hug and whisper few kind words or joke
About how he is green and ugly and rabid like a Biting dog,
He struggles to drive off the buzz in his ears and
shake away the bugs throbbing his temporal veins,
Agonized , he looks for anything sharp and painful,
All he finds is a pencil with a broken lead.
He scribbles a note in disgust, spilling a few tears and bleeds
His heart out on paper .
Then he succumbs to the only drug that can cure,
No more beastly silhouettes can be seen,
Neither the satanic screams nor the blood shot eyes,
As harmless as can be written,
When he sleeps, he’s soft as a kitten.
Categories:
drive off, anger, angst,
Form:
Free verse
Meeting Van Gogh…sonnet
the wheat-field, blond as a Volga German milk maid, heat
intense and in the shade of a demanding olive tree I saw
grumpy Van Gogh, glaring at me intruding on his painting.
“Sorry for the scooter it is electric blue and doesn’t fit in,
pretend it is a donkey free of its leather harness.”
The vines, deep green leaves and fertile soil, soon there
would be grapes, mostly dark cerulean, an army of wine
to come tempting souls into surrender… liquid pleasures;
and the narrow road snakes amongst fields like a black
mamba hunting grey rabbits in the meadow.
I have the afternoon sun in my eyes, a cooling breeze
on my back; and then I drive off the road fall amongst
thistle and thorns and the spell is broken, look around
but only Van Gogh witnessed my disgrace.
Categories:
drive off, adventure, imagination,
Form:
Sonnet
China charges 1 million annually
For each panda in our zoos
If we won't pay in full
Then the pandas we will lose
Nasty Panda's the exception
No one wants him here or there
He was paid 1 million dollars
To abscond and disappear!
Here comes the Nasty Panda
~He's much more than you can bear
He's such a nasty panda
~He leaves cooties everywhere
Beware of Nasty Panda
~He do anything he please
Stay clear of Nasty Panda
~He eats shoots and leaves
I smelled him 'fore I seen 'em
That black and white pariah
Slippin' slidin' in my kitchen
On smooshy mushy pulp papaya
I yelled for him to stop
And I told him where to go
Wink and laugh was all he did
With a Homer Simpson "D'oh!"
Here comes the Nasty Panda
~He's much more than you can bear
He's such a nasty panda
~He leaves cooties everywhere
Beware of Nasty Panda
~He do anything he please
Stay clear of Nasty Panda
~He eats shoots and leaves
He hasn't bathed in ages
Masked by quarts of cheap cologne
His furry skin sweat-sticky
From the surface to the bone
Smelly cigar and boozy breath
Plus an air of upper-crust
Please keep your kids away
Cuz that nasty bear can cuss!
Here comes the Nasty Panda
~He's much more than you can bear
He's such a nasty panda
~He leaves cooties everywhere
Beware of Nasty Panda
~He do anything he please
Stay clear of Nasty Panda
~He eats shoots and leaves
If you meet up with Nasty Panda
Better turn around and run
You're bound to lose your money
And your wits before he's done
Don't shed tears for Nasty Panda
Cuz he likes the way things are
Don't forget to hide your keys
Else he'll drive off in your car!
Here comes the Nasty Panda
~He's much more than you can bear
He's such a nasty panda
~He leaves cooties everywhere
Beware of Nasty Panda
~He do anything he please
Stay clear of Nasty Panda
~He eats shoots and leaves
Here comes the Nasty Panda
~He's a scoundrel and a bum
He's such a nasty panda
~He's as nasty as they come
Beware of Nasty Panda
~He's gonna raise a stink
Stay clear of Nasty Panda
~He's much nastier than you think
Categories:
drive off, animal, corruption, dark, humorous,
Form:
Light Verse
She’s eighty-nine years of age
So wise she’s quite a sage
As long as she’s sane
Long may she reign
I do hope she draws a good wage
She married Prince Phillip who’s Greek
His gaffes sometimes make him a geek
When he opens his mouth
His brains they go south
The Queen cringes when he starts to speak
They live in London in a palace so grand
The finest royal residence in the land
Waited on hand and foot
I guess they will stay put
Crowds are entertained by a marching band
Prince Charles is King in waiting
His mother’s reign he is berating
Banana skins on the floor
Superglue on the door
Some hope he will never be King
He married Camilla Parker Bowles
She loves to drive off in the ‘Rolls’
Before he was married to Di
Camilla had caught his eye
And now his heart she controls
Contest: Long Live The Queen
Sponsor: Judy Konos
05~09~15
Categories:
drive off, humorous,
Form:
Limerick
He glances through the curtains as she leaves.
And he knew she was going with him instead.
Desperately he washes his soul of her but its for naught.
And he hangs each feeling on the line and the cool breeze.
She walks to the corner and gets into his car and flips her hair.
He always loved the way she flipped her hair and the body after a drink.
Her body would glisten with the sweat of his thrust and the bite on his shoulder.
The car pulls away and he watches the lights drive off with his heart and the bite.
The laundry machine moves like her and shudders and vibrates.
But she will return with food from the Chinaman.
Chinese food was how he knew.
She never ate Chinese food except afterwards.
The clothes lay fluttering in the night air as his heart dried.
And she came home with egg rolls and the feint smell of polo.
Categories:
drive off, loss, heart, body, car,
Form:
Narrative
An adnomination nation would be quite the agitation the illumination, hearing all speaking in agnomination would cause conversation discrimination to be a chaotic annomination or the abomination, this would dominate the nation causing confusion. The culmination, for instance telling one to drive off a cliff in his carnation, could raise a flood of damnations from all denominations
Categories:
drive off, confusion, culture, funny, humorous,
Form:
Free verse
Mosquitoes subsiding
we torque the last nut
air it up
check the pressure
and gently replace the wheel cover.
Drenched in sweat
with bumpy skin having
satiated the skeeters
we drive off into the sunset
to test our work.
It works!
So do we.
Written at 10:53 EDT on July 21, 2012
Categories:
drive off, happiness,
Form:
Free verse
When I think about you and me
I think about what we couldn't be
we were always on a red light
and I always prayed for green.
I wanted to unzip ya and than resew
your heart on my sleeves
I'd drink you like vitamin water
because you've got what I need
I know I aint loso but I can spit on any beat
And for all you females hating right
now Imma need you to go take a seat
If you like my movie so much
get a DVR and keep it on repeat
Talent seaps from my pores
so I don't need to trick for no treat
We were on two different trains
one going to brooklyn one to miami
I wanted a collison so badly
I would have took it even if it happened accidentally
I feel like I've caught the holy ghost
these feelings have never happened to me
I try to keep my distant
but like lighting from the sky
you keep unexpectingly zapping me
I said Dr what's wrong with me?
She did a pap smear test and
everything came back accuately
she said I'm sorry to tell you miss
but your falling in love
I said "nah you missed the basket"
she must've been shaqing me.
but as I left her office that day
all I could feel was thoughts of you attacking me
We must have been in the deep blue sea
because my heart felt like sharks were making a snack of me
All I wanted is for this to end up happily
but like thelma and louise sometimes you've got
to drive off of cliffs. I'd rather be in jail for life than
to never have feelings like this.
So I never regret my day dreams.
Just like I'll never forget your lips.
I continue to relish in the moment
as my heart does triple back flips.
Categories:
drive off, life, loveme, heart, day,
Form:
Free verse
I saw the officious black car drive off from my house as I entered the street.
I will never forget the date.
It was the first day of September,
in fact I have cursed that date ever since.
I will never forget the time either,
I saw it on the big kitchen clock
as I came in and dumped my school bag.
It was fourteen minutes past four.
The sun was still shining brightly outside,
but the heat had gone out of the day.
Then I heard my Mother crying,
crying and wailing with big sobs
like she had the hiccups.
She was sitting right on the edge of the settee.
A hanky covered both her hands as
her head rocked gently back and forth.
One of her heels was out from her shoe,
pointing awkwardly upwards.
There was a letter lying on the floor.
A hand delivered letter.
We had had a visitor.
I cursed the fact my Father wasn"t home,
I did not know what to say or do.
I did a lot of cursing that day,
but most of all I cursed the day
my Brother ever joined the Army.
Two Weeks Later.
As I walk in to the room
to say my last goodbye.
I wonder if you know,
could see and hear me cry.
If somewhere up above,
you could look down and see.
Know how much your missed,
for once we would agree.
I find it oh so hard
to say a last goodbye,
I curse this heaven and earth
and only wonder why.
Nothing seems to shift
this empty nagging pain.
So I say my last goodbye
until we meet again.
And meet again we must,
for it wasn"t till that day.
That I found out to late
I have so much to say.
I want to tell you this
I love you like no other.
Oh why did God take you
my one and only Brother.
Categories:
drive off, war, day, i love
Form:
Rhyme
Alright no one here leaves
Until I get back my monkey
He was right here beside me
When we sat down at the bar
He got up to use the restroom
Cause my monkey is not uncouth
I KNOW he didn't just drive off
I still have the keys to the car
We were having the best of times
Telling jokes and making up zoological rhymes
He even passed around that picture
You know the one with the orangutan in that embarrassing position
That's the last time I saw him
My monkey...my best friend
Will somebody help me look please
These tears have all but blurred my vision
I've now checked every zoo on the East coast
Every circus that I know
Thinking perhaps he was monkeynapped
By some clown or zoological freak
I haven't seen hide nor hair
Of a clean shaven monkey in underwear
I told you he wasn't uncouth
My monkey learned that from me
These days I cry in my beer
Since my monkey's no longer here
I guess Doodles had better things
To do with his life
If my monkey, Doodles you ever do see
Will you tell him I miss him oodles for me
And that I've accepted the fact that he's not coming back
And that I'll be alright...
Categories:
drive off, funny, humor,
Form:
Light Verse
So, High Class
Torn by internal conflict
I paint on a darling smile
Put on my neatly creased suit,
In their eyes, this is me.
A patron of the country club
savoring filet mignon
and a fine Bordeaux.
“I got the check,” I say;
As I dip my manicured hands
deep within a sea of freshly pressed plastic.
“Why thank you, Sir" and
“Dinner was just fabulous.”
I return to my over priced Lincoln
and begin to drive off
with a confident wave
but
my smile begins to smear.
I loosen my shirt and murmur
a sigh of utter relief.
Categories:
drive off, anxiety, identity, loneliness, people,
Form:
Free verse
Shopping Spree
It was a big shop, large as warehouse it sold everything I didn’t need;
and the shop was empty of staff. The thief in my thought: if I had a van
I could back it up to the entrance, take everything in sight drive off
and sell it to retailers who would say when I was caught, we bought his
stuff in good faith. I could make a thousand Euros, but would have to
spend it fast by going to nightclubs and be the big guy paying drinks for
everyone; and beautiful women would fawn over me.
Finally a shop assistant came chewing on a burger and smelling of
fried onions. Asked me what I wanted. “Two batteries for my remote
please.” They cost 67 cent. He didn’t have the three cents so I told him
to make it seventy. This pleased him no end, but having robbed
the shop I could afford to be grand. Coming home the batteries were
not the right sort, but never mind, they could be useful for something
else, say, to run my toy car.
Categories:
drive off, funny, sad,
Form:
Blank verse
We are in
the breeze
with trees possible
off the flying lake
look for orange cone
wearing silver mask
in front of the office
in back of the park
No back-to-back
or front-to-back
conversations
on old rocky route
where roots are not masked
Dogs wearing masks
are welcome
Humans need to be
on leashes
Rain policy
will be localized
at the park
You can just
show up on
a deconstructing
road to nowhere
Road to hell does not show
up on Google Maps
Easy Rated Go
for Beginners
Distance: 3.23589 light miles
Call me when you arrive
Call me if you don't arrive
Directions:
Go east
0.8 miles
turn when you
see the squirrel
drive off the cliff
fall 0.3 miles
land upside down
on the rocky parkway
turn west
crawl 0.2 miles
swim in creek
pet the alligator
and snake
Go 1/250th of a mile to
parking entrance
to your left
on your right
To the left is an orange
-00000 mile marker trail loop
To the right is a
silver gentle tree man
Bring your own
porta john
& newspaper
All welcome
in the Road
go two minutes
follow the Jaguar
chasing the dinosaur
Play baseball on the Floating Lake
Give away tickets to hunger games
hike in bathrooms in lake's center
Conversions permitted on gravel
Conversations will unravel
Categories:
drive off, humorous, nature, surreal, word
Form:
Free verse