Best Chop Suey Poems
A long while ago
I realized that standard shapes
Fear all abstract noise
Kitty’s Restaurant
By Elton Camp
As a name for a Chinese place to eat,
“Kitty’s Chop Suey” can sure be beat
If, perchance, it’s the owner’s name
I wouldn’t view it quite the same
As an Asian name it doesn’t ring true
Much more likely would be Wong Sue
Thus, to go to this restaurant to eat
Makes one wonder about the meat
A coincidence, or could it be true
That the meat once used to mew?
I once had a friend named Louie
who never gave a hooey
about when he ate
as long as his mate
fixed his favorite chop suey.
Louie was married to Betty
who much preferred spaghetti
but when Louie said, "Please,
fix my favorite Chinese"
Betty said, "I won't be so petty
since pasta is in the suey
and I really love you, Louie."
So she took all day
chop, chopping away
till onions made her eyes dewy.
Help!! I don't have an end
to this saga of my friend ...
no way to finish
this tasty suey dish
perhaps you have one to lend?
My Kung Fu Chop Suey Present
On my thirty-fourth birthday off to China's best; traveled I went
So very uneventful and unaware I blithely lost all my well-earned money and spent,
As I entered into a Chinese restaurant and telephoned Connie Chang's
Alas, I'd decided to relinquish my yearnings and fill my hunger pangs.
On an undecided moment, I ordered chop suey and plate of spring rolls,
Also, a bottle of plonk to keep out the shivering unwanted cold
I ate so fast and drunk like a half drowned starved human sprinkler,
Putting my calloused hands in my pockets, found my frozen fingers.
Then found out I didn't have enough money to pay the restaurant bill
Then decided to leave and dash; when all was quiet and very still,
Once I was outside, to my eyes, I was shocked with angst and surprise,
All the waiters were waiting there with ugliness in their piercing eyes!
All at once they did many Kung Fu Chops unto my veiled eyes and stamped on my head
Their contempt in their eyes was to leave me so bruised and brutally dead,
They violently attacked me like a raging tiger in heat, then all at once I was still and all alone,
My blood had been spread apart and muscles were strung out and splintered right to my very bone.
They surely unraveled me, quite inadequately because back then I was very sure
This adventure of mine was an espionage of a birthday present for me to remember much of violence and gore,
I callously lay in a hospital bed for six or seven long endless months or weeks
I'm telling you all this had happened for a simple plate of chop suey and fresh steaks and leaks,
You do a great many of silly things when you are young and adventurous--haha! And that was all in a blurr.
This poem was written for my friend Sonya Mako Wong
Kung Fu Chop Suey
On my twenty-fifth birthday off to China's best travelled I went
So very unfruitful and unaware I enormously lost all my money thus spent,
Then I entered a Chinese restaurant and telephoned Tonya Chang's,
Alas, I'd aimed to relinquish my yearnings of humble hunger pangs.
In a strategic moment, I ordered chop suey and a plate full of spring rolls,
Also, a full bottle of plonk to keep out the shivering unwanted cold
I ate so fast and drank like a half drowned starved tinkler,
Putting my hands in my pockets, found nothing but frozen fingers.
Found out I did not have enough money to pay for the food bill
Right there and then decided to leave when it was quiet and so still,
But then once outside, all to my eyes was shocked with utter surprise,
Were all the waiters standing there with venom in their piercing eyes!
They all did many kungFu chops unto my veiled eyes, then stamped on my head
their obvious contempt was to leave me so bruised and so very dead,
They attacked me like a lunging tiger in heat, then I was so still and prone,
For my blood had rippled and muscles were strung out and splintered right to the bone.
They surely unravelled me, inadequately back then that was so very sure,
A quite eventful birthday present to remember full of much violence and gore
I lay in a hospital for an extended six or seven long months or weeks,
All this had happened for a simple plate of chop suey and fresh leaks.
You do plenty of silly things when your young-ha ha! And that was all a blur!!
It is as American as crackers and cheese.
So many people believe it is Chinese.
Cook meat or shrimp in a wok that is very nice.
Serve it with lots of veggies and white rice.
If you travel to places such as Shanghai or Beijing,
most of the people living there never heard of such a thing
A Chinese restaurant is the only place you will see
this famous dish of great popularity.
You can find it on a menu in either column A or column B
This item is known to all as “Chop Suey”