Best Chihuahuas Poems
After much reflection and introspection I am making an alphabetical list of the things that make me, me. I'm sure there are more that I could add, but for now this is who I am:
First of all I am of the female persuasion.
I am AMERICAN by birth,
I am a BAKER of cookies and cakes (nothing fancy),
I am a CHRISTIAN by faith,
CARING and COMPASSIONATE by nature,
CREATIVE and CURIOUS,
DEARLY loved DAUGHTER (though my parents have passed),
DAYDREAMER extraordinaire,
EMOTIVE EMPATH,
FAITHFUL FRIEND (I'm a good listener),
FIRST-BORN child,
I am completely FALLIBLE,
GRATEFUL for all my blessings (God is good),
A GRANDMA to six greatly loved grandchildren (my biggest blessings)
I am a HOMEBODY with questionable housekeeping skills,
IMPULSIVE at times, but mostly cautious,
INQUISITIVE, always ready to learn something new,
KINDHEARTED,
LOVER of God, cats, chihuahuas (and other small dogs), music and chocolate,
I am MARRIED and the MOTHER of two sons.
NORMALLY NON-VIOLENT and NURTURING,
I have OLD-FASHIONED values (never going to change),
ORGANIZATION eludes me, (You should see my desk!)
OVERWEIGHT (pleasantly plump, maybe?)
I am a PEACEMAKER, a POETESS,
A QUIET introvert (is there any other kind?),
An avid READER (my Kindle is maxed out),
I am RIGHT-HANDED,
I am a SISTER, aunt, niece and cousin,
SAVED by the grace of God through Jesus,
I tend to be SELFISH (but I'm working on that),
I am SHORT in stature (I've actually shrunk an inch!)
TEA is my beverage of choice in the mornings,
The THESAURUS and dictionary are my friends,
I am UNDERSTANDING (but not always understood),
I am VALUABLE to my family and friends (or so they say),
WIFE to a loving, faithful husband,
I WORRY too much, (should pray more)
I love WORDS and WRITING makes me happy.
List Poem
Revised 7/11/24
How much do I love you?
Let me count the ways,
I love your one paw,
I love your two paws,
I love your three paws,
I love all four.
I love the way you greet me,
When I walk through the door.
I love your wiggy waggy tail,
I love your little tooshie too.
I love it when you kiss me,
When I say mommy loves you.
I love your little belly,
I love your little teeth,
I love the way you yell at me,
When you want a treat.
I love your little nose,
I love your big brown eyes.
I love the fact you think your ten feet tall,
for your little size.
(This poem is not directed at innocent spouses)
Chlamydia
Chlamydia, Chlamydia,
How do we get rid of ya.?
Take up painting,
Stay at home.
Learn to play the saxophone.
Raise Chihuahuas.
Learn cabinetry.
Take ballet lessons,
Make furniture for the family.
Write a novel,
Even if it stinks,
Don’t drown yourself in alcoholic drinks.
Write a poem
Raise a horse.
Cleaning up the stable,
Will keep you on course.
Stop feeling sorry,
For yourself,
Chlamydia feeds
On the dissatisfied elf..
Take up philoso-phy,
Learning to think
Helps keep your mind free.
Don’t become a societal leach,
Look at the ocean.
Go and lay down on the beach.
Enjoy the essence of your town,
The people, the smells, and the sounds.
Notice things you never noticed before.
(That will keep you off the floor.)
Get a cat or a dog,
It will even be good if you tended a frog.
Make it not always, “me, me,me”
Build a playhouse in a tree
Do good for the helpless,
Young and elder-ly.
Social disease is for people who have no good aims.,
And play too many selfish games.
Most of all,
Go pray in Church.
The Creator will never,
Leave you in the lurch.
I can't recall the last time I've had a good night's rest.
It ain't because I'm stressed or restless or depressed.
Nor is it the fitful snorin' of my spouse sprawlin' by my side.
It's that consarned nocturnal symphony a-goin' on outside!
First, all the neighborhood mutts join in discordant refrain.
Heard is yippin' by poodles and the bellowin' of a Great Dane!
Chihuahuas, dachshunds and spaniels join in the raucous fray.
Addin' to the din, a quartet of Bassett hounds begin to bay!
Just as I was relaxin' comfortably in Morpheus' gentle arms,
There arose 'neath my window a squabble causin' more alarms.
A couple of cats on their customary nocturnal prowlin'
Had it out on my lawn a-screechin' and a-yowlin'!
Along about midnight the strident din began to fade,
Then, a legion of crickets began a monotonous serenade!
Addin' to my plight, I heard the blarin' klaxon of a train,
And the screamin' jet engines of a low-flyin' plane!
The grandfather clock struck four and I'm still wide awake.
I should've been a-snoozin' hours ago, for heavens' sake!
Lord, what can be done to stifle that dissonant cacophony,
My nemesis, that ceaseless, infernal nocturnal symphony!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
The Bichon Frise
The Bichon in chiffon looks so frou
That the crowd duly wowed has to coo
‘Til the dog starts to droop
And its owner to scoop
Some acutely embarrassing doo
The Border Collie
It was not Albert Einstein who dared
To think E = mc2
But rather a Border
Who brought cosmic order
One morning while out with his laird
The Bulldog
My Bulldog won’t frolic or fetch
His face may cause others to kvetch
But he’s gentle and sweet
With the kids on the street
And the ladies all think I’m a ketch
The Cairn Terrier
Cairns have been bred to hunt vermin
Be it Spanish, Australian, or German
Its body is wee
Though as tough as a tree
And as ruthless as General Sherman
The Chihuahua and Great Dane
Chihuahuas and Danes one surmises
Are extremes when it comes to their sizes
The one is so small
It is nothing at all
While the other is big and wins prizes
The Chinese Crested
I passed one of these down on Lincoln
For a moment I thought I’d been drinkin’
He looked so bizarre
That I stopped in a bar
To keep my poor eyeballs from shrinkin’
The Collie
To many a Collie means Lassie
The wonderdog faithful and classy
But on re-run TV
(Or is it just me?)
Do her eyes look a little bit glassy?
The Corgi
The Corgi is not one to hurry
Much preferring a stroll to a flurry
If you happen by chance
To invite one to dance
He’ll say, “Hey, I am not Arthur Murray!”
The Dachshund
The Dachshund’s a marvel on skis
Little legs that stop short of its knees
It can schuss like a pro
Making furrows in snow
(Though its privates are given to freeze)
The Dalmatian
Dalmatians are doomed to be stuck
In the seat of a fireman’s truck
When they’d much rather cruise
In a Jag that’s chartreuse
On a track that’s for testing your luck
Two retired senior citizens
Home a dumping ground with three cats
Two Chihuahuas, one bull dog fat
Question~~who eats pets or denizens?
Our home has become a dumping place for
unwanted pets: first we got Princess who
someone put out behind our son's home in
the city then Hairy showed up at our home
then at least two stray cats showed up(there
may be more than two out there) now about
a week ago this huge bull dog showed up..
He must weigh at least one hundred lbs..
I have looked at pictures on the internet
and Bull looks like what they say is an
Alapaha Blue Blood Bull Dog..He is blue
and white with ears and tail not clipped..
He has not been neutered and seemed
well fed..He was hopping ..We will take
him to the vet next Tuesday..We have just
got him where he will come to us..Tommy
put food out for him but he would not come
close for about a week..
I have a puppy who loves to run and jump.
I have a Chihuahua that is named Trump.
He was born on the 14th of January and he's special indeed.
I now have two Applehead Chihuahuas, that is their breed.
Trump is some feisty and he's as cute as he can be.
He is my new pet and he means a great deal to me.
It's nice to have two dogs that are purebred.
I love both of my Chihuahuas who are Appleheads.
I claimed ---and passionately---
that I'd never have a small dog,
much less one with "poo" in its name.
Not for me yappy Yorkies, shivering Chihuahuas,
shaky Shih Tzus, or terrible terriers.
Give me a wolfhound, a Dane, a mastiff,
a dog with paws like saucers,
a bark like thunder, and a tail like a whip,
(Christmas tree be damned!)
I prefer drooling retrievers, dignified shepherds.
hard-working setters, lumbering Bernards.
With this firmly in mind,
I went puppy shopping today.
Meet my Maltipoo.
Cujo.
(I haven't lost my mind completely.)
chihuahuas bark in
chorus ....
jazz mixed opera
Tammy owns a lot of dogs, she has fourteen.
She has more dogs than anybody I've ever seen.
She has Miniature Pinschers, Chihuahuas and Pit Bulls.
She also recently acquired two Jack Russells.
Tammy had a Jack Russell named Rosie that she lost last year.
Rosie died or was stolen, what happened isn't exactly clear.
There is one thing that's easy to define.
Tammy loves all of her fourteen Canines.
(Dedicated to Tammy Carper who has a lot of love for dogs.)
Four ways to stop your chihuahua from barking
Talk to them in a pleasant voice
Then you see you have no choice
One: Get your shotgun
Two: Load it with a shell or two
Three: You know this won't be fun
Four: Take them out behind the barn,
Just the sight of the gun
And the shakes have begun!!
The Chihuahuas are terrified of guns and most loud noises so they would quieten on down if someone got out the gun even run and hide.
After Judicious consideration
the Court ousts chihuahuas without hesitation
With Texas Versus Rover
their dreaming days are over
We'll soon live in a pure Aryan canine nation
My little ones they bring me such joy
Three little girls and one little boy
The scamper and play all over the place
I can’t get mad when I look at their face
So easy to please just give them a treat
They’re even cute when they nip at your feet
My little babies like to sit in my lap
They even lay down when I take a nap
They sleep under the covers and hog the whole bed
I even have one that sleeps by my head
Little Chihuahuas you know the Taco Bell dog
Don’t let them fool you they can eat like a hog
There’s Little, Apple and wee baby Beanie
Let me not forget Ozzy he’s my little meanie
They make me smile with all that they do
If you could see them you’d fall in love too!
carport door opens
chihuahuas sniff frosty air....
scents compel new hikes
litany of the Church of the Ecstatic Coma
love shouldn't be a pile of rags
I was playing pinkie dinkie
with next door Suzie Woozy
her father was CIA a spy catcher
with a big spy catcher mitt
try not to leave town he warned
you are someone's project
come here Sweetchops she coos
you get your sugar today
I sizzled like a good shashlik
skewered with the awe in awkward
their witchy priestess had smoked me out
her tongue slid down to my sternum
the boys from Central Scanning drooling again
going all area focus on the nipple pixels
her teats were wheels of fortune
I had no choice but to place my bet
You're quite attractive I lied
I've heard it before she lied
at that point it could go either way
what else can you show me she teased
having hesitated too long
I went for the guts
I wanted take out she wanted road kill
let's do it daddy-o she tugged
and plunged a foot of sharpened rebar
into my 3rd eye
this is your song she hissed
her hips slowly grinding coffee
a Gobi princess half horse half bowstring
horrifically stuffy may I and do you mind
threw me to the rabid chihuahuas
guarding the Temple of Loud Delights
the other church goers heard the commotion
I immediately checked my utensil
and the dish ran away with the spoon
to the Babylonian nuns of St. Thuggurash
protectors of women on bar stools
gave their coyote yell and he was cured
of his sexual extravaganzas
no more dancing harlots and magicians
no more leg humping the Delphic Floozie
counseling instead Chinese all you can eat
with a band of handy mandarins
their cleavers gleaming
asleep at the foot of his bed
a plate of pasta for a pillow
avanti il populo
screw the menace go play