Best Canuck Poems


Premium Member Wacko Jacko

Clear the track, here comes Jack
Or Johnny Canuck to some
To a bunch of friends on Poetry Soup
He's that Wacko Jacko bum!

He's Canadian eh! From way up north
From the land of ice and snow
He eats bowls of nails for breakfast
Wearing manly lumberjack clothes

“Good day eh! How's it goin' eh?”
Are two of his favourite greets
As he polishes off his morning brew
With a slab of uncooked meat

He's a tough old dude, that's for sure
With mush instead of brains
A grizzled good natured son of a gun
With love running through his veins

He'd give you the shirt right off his back
But it's too damn cold up here
For fear of freezing his nipples off
Instead he's just say, “Wanna beer?”

Clear the track, here comes Jack
Or Johnny Canuck to some
To a bunch of friends on Poetry Soup
He's that Wacko Jacko bum!


© Jack Ellison 2013
Form: Quatrain

Premium Member North American By Choice

Canadian by birth, North American by choice
Yankee, Canuck, Mexicano, I speak with one voice
We live strong and free
These great countries three
I raise my voice in harmony and happily rejoice


© Jack Ellison 2015
Form: Limerick

Premium Member An Ode To a Tree

Maple trees are a symbol of Canada, our great land
It's leaf is featured on our flag we're a friendly band
Of peace loving folks
Friendship we evoke
Spoken by a true Canuck, covering my heart with ny hand
Form: Limerick


When I'M Calling You

A Canadian Love Song

Like JFK with Edgar Hoover, 
I'm completely ill at ease: 
it's as if I'm in Vancouver, 
but I speak no Cantonese. 

A Mountie's boot must have its stirrup, 
they say Brooke Nevin needs a fattener: 
tooth decay loves maple syrup 
(look what it did for William Shatner!) 

I yearn for something quite profound, 
my very own deep inner need, 
just as Puget boasts its Sound 
and Calgary its Stampede. 

Like "foo" means nothing without "fighter", 
an ice rink's bare without a puck. 
Mike Myers lacks a decent writer: 
I think I need a cute canuck. 

I hope one day I will be ready 
(when Justin Bieber gets a life!) 
- Jeanette MacDonald, Nelson Eddy - 
to woo you as my Winnipeg Wife.
Form: Lyric

Coquihalla Holiday

Loaded up and gassed
Got a four-day pass
Ramblin' in the Rockies
...Coquihalla holiday

Crested o’er the pass
Hope the brakes’ll last
Needle Peak behind me
...Coquihalla holiday

Driver’s turnin’ pale
Down the Devil’s Tail
To Othello. It's a mother.
...Coquihalla holiday

Evening shadows fade
Running down grade
Almost got it made
...Coquihalla holiday

Morning shining in
Y’oughta see my grin
It’s heaven past eleven
...Coquihalla holiday

Appaloosa pony
A meadow in the morning 
Nickers at the flicker 
...Coquihalla holiday

Cabin In the pines
Think I’ll wet myself a line
Cakes and bacon fryin’
...Coquihalla holiday

Bonfire burning bright
Tamarack alight
Purple sunset fades
...Coquihalla holiday 

Okanagan moon
Listening to the loon 
Coyote start to croon
...Coquihalla holiday

Hockey on my radio 
Oilers putting on a show
Win it in a shout-out
...Coquihalla holiday

Kokanee on ice 
Cubans are my vice
“Dominos or dice?”
...Coquihalla holiday

Me and Lady Missy
Getting kind of pissy
Sipping on that whiskey
...Coquihalla holiday 

All that I can say,
A Canuck can have a day
Relaxin’ in the mountains
...Coquihalla holiday





https://globalnews.ca/tag/coquihalla/
© Ken Rone  Create an image from this poem.
Form: Rhyme

Premium Member Brit-Based

Learned from Monty Python, the more outrageous the better
Brits were born with giggle genes, the rest got aged cheddar
Being a Canuck
Was partly in luck
My genes, though worn, are still a Brit-based giggle-spreader
Form: Limerick


Premium Member That Bieber Jerk

Ashamed to learn Justin Bieber is Canadian
Sure doesn't represent THIS Canuck
A total embarrassment to this country of ours
Dragging us all through the muck

A total loser in every sense of the word
His disgusting exploits are renowned
Wonder what our dear Celine thinks of him
Our image, he's quickly tearing down

A disgraceful display of obnoxious behaviour
Unbecoming of this beautiful land
I'm begging you please, ignore this creature
Dismiss this jerk out of hand

There's very few things that provoke me enough
To stand on my soapbox and yell
Guess you've realized I'm incensed to the max
This kid is heading straight for hell


© Jack Ellison 2013
Form: Quatrain

Premium Member An Ode To a Tree

Maple trees are a symbol of Canada, our great land
It's leaf is featured on our flag we're a friendly band
Of peace loving folks
Friendship we evoke
Spoken by a true Canuck, covering my heart with my hand
Form: Limerick

Premium Member Canadian Content

From the mid-1950's thenceforth
to the mid-seventies in the Great White North,
over the course of many moons,
there came from this country some really great tunes.

For those of us young at heart (or not-so-old)
we had Neil Young's Cinnamon Girl and Heart of Gold.
And when they were at their very peak,
The Band sang The Weight and Up on Cripple Creek.

Joni Mitchell, who was oh-so-classy,
sang about a Free Man in Paris and a Big Yellow Taxi.
And one of the finest songs ever designed
was Gordon Lightfoot's If You Could Read My Mind.

Back in those days, the Guess Who was on the rise
with hits like American Woman, Undun and These Eyes.
And, from Nova Scotia, you may have heard
of Anne Murray, who sang sweetly about a Snowbird.

From Montreal came Andy Kim - now he was quite a looker! -
who sang lead vocals for The Archies. Remember Sugar Sugar?
And, incidentally, he had one other big hit
called Rock Me Gently. Do you remember it?

Oh, and by the way,
there was another Canuck named John Kay,
a real nineteen sixties flower child.
He sang with Steppenwolf. You know Born to be Wild!

Ah, I remember the summers, when we all had lots of fun
listening to Sweet City Woman and Seasons in the Sun.
And I will certainly never, ever forget 
a hit by BTO called You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet!

In the history of modern music, be it rock or pop,
a number of Canadians have certainly reached the top.
With the Yanks and the Brits, we certainly could compete.
With no mention of Canada, music history is incomplete.
© Jim Healey  Create an image from this poem.
Form: Rhyme

Premium Member Brit-Based Giggle-Spreader

Monty Python taught me, the more outrageous the better
Brits were born with giggle genes, the rest got aged cheddar
Being a Canuck
Was partly in luck
My genes, though worn, are still Brit-based giggle-spreaders
Form: Limerick

Canuck Rebuke

A maple leaf fell off the flag
When Mounted Police hit a snag
Some maple syrup
Stuck to his stirrup
Voilà Sergeant Preston in drag!
Form: Limerick

Premium Member TUBERCULOSIS USA PSA

TB in Kansas
has now spread to Ohio ~
the caring Canuck
Form: Senryu

Premium Member Over There

Over there, send the word over there
This Canuck is coming, his limericks to share
The drums are drumming
Good times are a-coming
Send a good giggle word, better be prepared


(Based on an old World War II song)
Form: Limerick

The Canuck Canuck

The Canuck Canuck

Remember dancing the Canuck-Canuck; 
Then terrible poems  did have to chuck,                                                      Into a big maze; 
Burn up in blaze; 
Like Horn's are horrible and would suck.

Jim Horn
© James Horn  Create an image from this poem.
Form: Limerick

Premium Member Monty Python

Monty Python taught me, the more outrageous the better
Brits were born with giggle genes, the rest got aged cheddar
Being a Canuck
Was partly in luck
My genes, though worn, are still Brit-based giggle-spreaders
fun
Form: Limerick

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