Best Buggered Poems

Tyranisauris

Tyranisauris Rex said bugger off Tex
This is my swamp today
Fair suck of the sav
Don’t stick our you neck
Or I’ll slap you silly hey

So he buggered off in a cloud of scales
Cos Rex he didn’t play
No love affair 
Frustrated yeah
And then he went away

Don Johnson...

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I’d been flat out writing poetry for nigh on near a week,
and I felt it’s time to try and clear me head,
so I put the dog upon the leash to walk down near the creek,
where I can feel a touch of nature here instead.

I sat...

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There worra a young lad called Albert,
He were allus up t' no good,
He'd stand ont corner by t'lamp post,
sparkin' 'is clogs like mad,
'til day he were caught by 'is Dad.
Dad said to him, now stop it,
Tha's wearin' out tips my lad,
an I'll 'ave t' up...

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I was driving down Webb road, with the thoughts I’ve had all week,
And that is upon the crayfish that I net in Shady Creek,
Webb road is not a long one, but it’s narrow and it winds, 
And scrub that’s clinging to the edge is thick...

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Just a short story of the joys of living with a cat, a kelpie, a labrador.
Sometimes they play in a peaceful house, sometimes it’s like a war.
Like this morning, the red dog played tug of war all over the yard out the back.
For an hour...

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Joe black Cat

black as the night, 
gone in flight,
when you turn he isnt there,
locks dont hold,
the black im told,,
has buggered off orright,
brown snakes do run in fright,
cos the black he isn’t there,
and Halliwell tears his hair,
as Joe bestalks the night….

Don

Take yer eyes off Joe and...

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My wife read Fifty Shades last week
It’s gone right to ‘er ‘ead
Now I lies in trepidation
Every time I goes to bed
Just yesterday she came in nude
And chained me up, real tight
She snapped the lock, put on her frock
Then buggered off all night...

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Spotlighted like a Kangaroo

Spotlighted like the Kangaroo’s
And the bloody Dingoes too,
White light spotlights overhead,
Reaching down for me I dread,
What will the bastards do,

Big white light, soundless it’s true,
Followed us over the Moonie dew,
I asked Mark and Wayne did you see,
The white light ever leave us...

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In a perfect world
we are raised,
then as teens some of us
discover a new emotion
called love,
in a perfect world.
But then we are not
in a perfect world,
compatibility
it seems not quite as yet
mastered
by the human race
unless of course.
Religion rules and binds the ties
or one’s countries laws demands,
a one...

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The sun shone spendiferous as a shiny new pin on a vetrans lapel 
She stood on parade for our lazy remarks... of such a fine day
As we slid lazily, contentedly (should be a word, i think) downhill past ducks dogs and chicken fried people
Chatting i...

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Lady Tara rolls the dice

Lady Tara tolls the bell,
Mongst  demons of the Buddist hell
Greed and avarice of the psyche
Tibetan wheels do mortals strike,
And greed is sure to tell,
Pointless mortal avarice,
Does dwell,
But not in paradise:}
Just hell,
Go get yeself a slice:{
The greedy buggered well,
Try it once...

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I could feel the rhythm of my obscure 
thoughts in sync
sturdy scrutiny, into the mirror
I glimpse deeply in the 
reflection of the nymph
somehow I outwit the quixotic 
hold of the sylph,
frightened to my demise, 
tons of strength fills my belly,
blinking lights, driving under the influence...

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Rebellion at The Cause


I’m running on a heat wave
Dancing with angels on a pin head
Slapped on a pallet
Of curious colours

Uses me in mad artistic brush strokes

Tripping on a ballet
Like a fire crackers splash
Shimmying on dangerous sidewalk cracks
Careless freak of Friday night

Gyrations jigger and giddy with...

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Sadness settles sometimes and drapes itself
Around my shoulders like a grey blanket
Weighs me down
It’s a well acquainted killjoy
An unwelcome and uninvited guest 
Who overstays his welcome
Will I ever see the colours again?
It’s hard to believe
The picture’s all in grayscale now
Should I cry yet again like...

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Plagiarists can play your eyes all they want 
lap up attention praise prize all day long
and I too can play as I like tongue in cheek
write a lightning strike lighting up plight

They can do as they feel 
numb
Think how they want 
dumb
pass the time with...

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