Job Offer

I was driving down Webb road, with the thoughts I’ve had all week,
And that is upon the crayfish that I net in Shady Creek,
Webb road is not a long one, but it’s narrow and it winds, 
And scrub that’s clinging to the edge is thick and often blinds.

That’s why I guess a cat is squashed upon the edging of the road,
Because pedestrians don’t stand a chance with cars in travelling mode
Where they fly around the corners at a speed that’s way too fast,
But who cares about a flattened cat when they are driving past.

When I parked me car beside the bridge, with the Shady flowing under,
I thought about the lifeless cat, and how I could have made a blunder,
The bait I have is mainly bone, with bits of meat to lure me prey,
When knowing that the meat of cats, is loved better by a cray. 

I laid me nets out on the grass, while in me mind there is debate,
Should I use the bones or take a drive, and grab the better bait.
It will take a short ten minutes; therefore the cat will bear the load,
So I’m changing gears back in me car, when driving down Webb road.

With the cat upon me mind, and driving past a farmers home,
The last thing that I expected was a rooster on the roam,
I felt the bird go underneath, and through my mirror at the rear,
All I could see was flying feathers and the Rooster on its ear.

That buggered up me day alright, I’m fishing on this farmer’s place,
He’ll probably mention ‘shot gun’ when I tell him face to face,
So apprehensively I tapped his door and when he stood in front of me,
I said “I’ve got news you will not like. Your rooster’s a fatality”.

He stared at me with misty eyes; I thought he found it hard to face it,
So I shrugged me shoulders and I said, “Look, allow me to replace it”.
I was nervous waiting his response, and then he threw me right off track… 
When he shrugged and answered, “Suit yourself. The chooks are ‘round the back”.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2015

Poem

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James Avatar
September 20, 2021 at 1:23 PM
lol those chooks would soon be nagging you with all their clucking. If I ever get rooster I'm going to name him Lindsay. Love your stories. Emilia : )
Laurie Avatar
September 30, 2021 at 11:32 PM
Hello Emilia ... ha-ha, he'd be a dud rooster I think, and also, roosters cannot be kept in towns due to early morning crowing. Thank you for your humorous comment Emilia - Lindsay
Callus Avatar
January 26, 2016 at 3:48 PM
You are a narrative king, Lindsay:) Had I been a publisher I would have snapped up your witty poems! This job offer is terrific!! Thank you for sharing:) // paul
Laurie Avatar
January 26, 2016 at 8:04 PM
Hello Paul ... and this would have pleased me too Paul. I'm pleased you got a kick out of 'job offer' - thank you - Lindsay
Schneiter Avatar
October 1, 2015 at 5:32 PM
Classic, expertly crafted LL humor. I've said it before but it bears repeating: No one is better at writing witty story poems than you. Kudos!
Laurie Avatar
January 26, 2016 at 7:59 PM
Hello Paul ... you've got me laughing Paul. Surely there are wittier poets on this site but thank you for the compliment - thank you - Lindsay
Delaney Avatar
September 20, 2015 at 2:30 PM
Ha ha Lindsay: Yes it is the subtle Aussie humour we were raised with....love it. I hope you finally caught a crayfish. I thought you were going to use the rooster as bait to catch one. SuZ
Laurie Avatar
September 25, 2015 at 2:40 AM
G'day Suzanne... we certainly were raised with that dry wit that came with a drawl, and yes we caught plenty of fresh water crays and released most of them. Actually, we used a magpie and singed its feathers once - Lindsay
Beaufort Avatar
September 10, 2015 at 6:24 AM
OK--now I get it!! The joke is about the replacement strategy!! I feel I am a little dense. This is a beautiful piece of work. I am sharing it with others in my household, and they all are loving it. You are one majestic poet!!
Beaufort Avatar
September 8, 2015 at 6:50 PM
Lindsay, there must be something wrong with me because I don't see the humor at the end. The rooster was run over, but what's the joke? I thoroughly enjoyed the story. You are a great educator. Please "humor" me.
Laurie Avatar
September 10, 2015 at 1:06 AM
Ah now Duke, it's a wires crossed thing. My intention was to buy him another rooster whereas the farmer thinks I offered to move into the henhouse to fertilise his chooks eggs. I hope this clears it up - Lindsay
Nunez Avatar
September 6, 2015 at 1:01 PM
LOL! Another clever surprise! Write some more, Lindsay! :-)
Laurie Avatar
September 10, 2015 at 1:00 AM
Hello Kim... I'll keep trying Kim. Thanks again for dropping in - Lindsay
Dietrich Avatar
September 3, 2015 at 10:12 PM
hahaha. you are so clever!!! I was still thinking on the cat and you threw me for a loop with the rooster joke at the end! Whewww, what a relief. I did already have you faved!
Laurie Avatar
September 10, 2015 at 12:58 AM
Hello Andrea... it's a style I've got myself into Andrea. Begin with a topic that tends to be irrelevant to the punch line. We've all got our beaut styles and stories I reckon - Lindsay
Woods    Avatar
September 2, 2015 at 1:20 PM
Loved it, a well told tale that drags the reader along with a brilliant twist at the end.
Laurie Avatar
September 10, 2015 at 12:48 AM
G'day Mark... if you can relate to this situation Mark then I am happy - thanks mate - Lindsay
Trifiatis Avatar
September 2, 2015 at 5:28 AM
Very captivating story excellently narrated, dear Lindsey! A seven.
Laurie Avatar
September 9, 2015 at 11:30 PM
Thank you Demetrios for your encouraging comment. I do enjoy reading and writing story telling poetry - Lindsay
Hatter Avatar
September 1, 2015 at 10:28 PM
Your good at this!
Laurie Avatar
September 9, 2015 at 11:27 PM
Thank you Michael; I'm pleased you praised my joke poem - catch you soon - Lindsay
Reams Avatar
September 1, 2015 at 9:08 PM
This is fantastic Lindsey! Not sure where it was going with the cat but it worked out well. A 7 from me.
Laurie Avatar
September 9, 2015 at 11:25 PM
Hello Tammy... thanks for reading and commenting. The poor old cat was only a lead into the roosters demise - catch you later Tammy - Lindsay
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