One Too Many

‘You’ve had one too many’ Declared old Paddy’s wife She always spoiled his evenings With her ‘trouble’ and her ‘strife’ ‘I’m absolutely sober’ He replied with much aplomb ‘I’ve only had a couple And I’m drinking beer, not rum’ ‘I don’t care what you’re drinking, You don’t know when to stop I rue the day I married you You useless, boozy sop’ ‘Oh, hold your blather, Missus Give that whinging voice a rest The day you married me I’ll have you know you got the best’ ‘Got the best? Well I’ll be buggered You really are a pain I wish that you’d get off yer ass And fix that broken windowpane’ Now at this Paddy got real pissed And sat up in his chair ‘Don’t you talk to me of work!’ He said with wild-eyed glare ‘I’ve worked myself to death for you But you only whinge and moan I swear I’ll clobber you real good If you keep on with that tone’ But she was unrepentant And continued with her rant On and on she chided him With never ending cant The last was one too many For this much maligned hubby So he lurched across the kitchen And he hit her with his stubby!