Best Buck Naked Poems
So, I'm told I have 100 billion neurons
(by someone ignorant of youth's indiscretions)
each with about a thousand synapses,
to connect its own specific grandeur or fear
to a grand of other neurons and their neuroses
and all of these cadre's and feeling tentacles
are always moving - reaching - searching,
for input and an interested listener
for minute sparks of insights they may have,
maybe a few a second, and over the course of time
they begin to add up - these datum of days
Significant amounts of minutia and marvels
in my minute-to-day-to-decade-to-lifetime
collection of me, in my own Icloud of inputs
what more could a sentient mind want but
a spoonful of sugar, and some free radicals
to really open up the ol' data pipes
BIG data, is what life's all about
these days, of statistical medians and means,
trying always to crunch our cramponed boots
to the top of the standard deviation curve
and look out at all the rest of
experience below us, our own vista of life
Racks of digitals softly hum to us in our society
and like us, this evolution (perhaps) of life
abhors to throw anything back to the world
without gleaning profit or meaning from it,
no digital potato peels or binary bones tossed
without a specific mission statement satisfied
So, it's not so different today, in "modern" times
as it was back then, when chain-mailed or toga'd
or animal skinned, or just buck-naked, we took
in everything that we could as individuals,
and stored its meaning, its grief, its joy,
part of our memories stock-in-trade for
the core analytical questions of "what?" and "why?"
© Goode Guy 2012-11-16
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_data
It was the night before Christmas, and I couldn't sleep,
I got out of bed without so much as a peep.
And headed to the kitchen for something to eat,
buck naked, except for the slippers on my feet.
I didn't dare turn on the nightlight and wake my wife,
for the last time I did that, she threatened my life.
The house was dead quiet; I could not hear a sound
as I ventured downstairs, feeling my way around.
I got to the living room, stumbling a few times,
then I heard music that sounded like Christmas chimes.
So, I went to the window and pulled back the drapes,
thinking the neighbors were playing some Christmas tapes.
I forgot I was as naked as a jaybird;
till I heard the loudest scream I had ever heard.
The church quire was midnight-caroling on my lawn,
and in plain view, I stood bare-assed, not a stitch on.
Judging by the faces I saw scrambling to leave,
I don't think they'll ever forget this Christmas Eve.
It was never my intent to flash anyone,
I simply wanted a ham and cheese on a bun.
Lady Godiva
Didn’t need a drivah
Buck naked on a mare
Those good chocolates stored where?
March 25, 2019
For contest sponsored by Tania Kitchin
Rocky's day for a bath
After chasing, placing
In torture chamber rath
Get him out then drying
Someone opens outside
Door; Rocky fastest thing
On four feet, look there
There he goes buggigdy, buggidy
And he ain't wear'n no clothes
Caleb three years' old
Comes running in saying
Rocky is out next to road
He's buck naked streaking
Buggidy, buggidy and he ain't
A wearin' no clothes
Down by the road front
Running to the creek streaks
Who would have thought
That he would let the whole world peek
No halter on running loose on the street
Buggidy, buggidy "The Streak"
(After reading about Deborah's contest
this is my version of "The Streak")
I ran than jumped high
into the upper atmosphere
like a young frisky
buck naked and bare
no matter weight of world
and personal woes oppressive,
yours truly shrugged,
(she loves you yea... yea... yea...
think Atlas) "faking" without care
free, able, ready, and
willing to dare
daubing metrical feet into stream
of consciousness (think)
metaphorical earthenware
placid figurative smooth as glassware
reflecting mine mien
mean disheveled hare
reed state of body,
mind and spirit long
acclimated, accompanied,
and accustomed
with mental, physical,
and spiritual malfunctions
ever since birth,
(or even in utero), where
biological mutations did interfere
easily availing self
as token "scapegoat
school kids did taunt and jeer
futilely screeching nonetheless
targeted and doomed killdeer
lamely seeking safety, albeit laughable
pencil necked geek longhair
donned as outdated "hippie"
lame excuse for cheesy mouseketeer
every day of younglife (mine) wanted
me "mommy dearest" near,
cuz yours truly
felt like kin outlier
one lonely human
being within alienation
forever seeking salvation
courtesy wing and prayer
ill fitting analogous to round hole
raised to accept unconventional
credo, gospel (according
to Matthew) mores as quare
figurative peg thus revere
ring boyhood, because
growing up scare
re: especially as
undersized withdrawn tear
huff eyed little lad.
On top of a mountain I stand, lo and behold,
A ball of orange, encased in yellow and gold.
Slowly rising above the sea, so large and bright,
I stare in awe, oh what a beautiful sight.
Two mountains besides me, east and west,
A glistening stream below, in motion at its best.
Gushing springs from the mountain top, a steady fall,
Music echoes from a distance, if that’s not all.
Thick mist below, like clouds over the stream,
That runs smoothly and calmly, straight into the sea.
I feel like a bird, Oh I wish I could fly”
I’d spread my wings and fly, high up into the sky.
This untouched beauty I see, that’s all around,
No buildings so tall are to be found.
God preserved this picture, especially for me,
To build my castle, surrounded by oak trees.
I’ll tan under the heavens, with the sun only to see,
I’ll bathe under the waterfall that flows into the sea.
I’ll sing on the mountain, just for the birds in the trees,
I’ll dance in the summer rains, buck naked, oh, hell would freeze.
I’ll lay under the stars, on a bright moonlit night,
With you my precious Angel, right here by my side.
Making love all night, without any complaints,
No neighbors, no friends, no parents to faint.
A good friend told me
"Tonight is perfect for moon bathing, "
So I am lying in the backyard
Buck naked on a mended blanket
and praying to God my neighbor
Has gone away for the weekend.
THIRD PLACE WINNER
June 13, 2021
submitted to "BITE SIZE POEM #6" Poetry Contest
sponsored by Line Gautier
FIFTH PLACE WINNER
December 20, 2020
submitted to "MAKE ME LAUGH WITH SOME HUMOR" Poetry Contest
sponsored by Tania Kitchin
FEATURED POETRY SOUP POEM
March 20, 2022
prior to passing thru cervix, buck naked bare
this grandson of Aaron, the sole heir –
foreshortened to Sol Aire
evinced (as shown via ultra sound),
which at birth became crystal clear,
an obsessive compulsive prone
human being, endear
ringly cute as a baby monkey possessed fear
some countenance tipping the scales needled gear
greater or lesser than seven pounds
(minus or plus a few ounces)
with a mass of dreaklocked hair,
otherwise a gangly sack of many a lovely bone,
whereat obstetricians
could not help himself but jeer
thus upon exiting birth cana; found him twirling loose
kinky follicular fibers accord
ding to medical records,
a combination of his being bored
(with a really lee super strong arm penchant)
to sport dreadlocks, tough as hemp cord
an anomaly, which no app could com pare,
boot nonetheless highly adored
resembling inimitable indestructible filaments,
when taut could lift off the ground a board
dillow, which no reference manual could address
even topnotch experts queried, could not explain
Hands folded prayer like to beseech thee
to abduct me with no cause to up braid
natural temptation found temptation commanding
from divine dada disobeyed
Earthbound Olympian of love,
now dwells amidst mossy secluded glade
a natural bed of soft earthy, downy
canopied bridal awaiting to lovers to get laid
and maybe nine months later,
a baby will resemble thee dear milkmaid
then whence we return to our Land O’ Lakes chalet
homage will be paid
in which human guise paramour
doles secrets of amorous Lumineers trade
into dreamland such desire does in vade.
Victuals to satiate pleasures of flesh
especially erogenous zones
administered by this imaginary mistress
sin seductive tones
thru this private line, but no other phones
triggering mine little rolling stones
to generate primal sounds vis a vis moans
inducing groin seams of pants extreme groans
toward pocket sixty-nine without lovely bones.
A copious amount of adoration suffuses entire body of this man
her, whose gentle and kind embrace promises to be eternal plan
as made mention in the Bible, Quran, or Torah millennia ago rattan
whose healthy libido will probably outlive me life span.
Royal carpet treatment awaits me each and every day
as the differences between myself and august dweller on high
establish a bounty and glory of compassion to roll in the hay
atop bodacious, delicious, felicitous fantasy asks me to lie
imbibing succulent atmosphere akin to an eternal month o may
taking spirit soaring thousands of miles of feet in the sky.
Upon hearing sweet nothings nobody else can hear
affecting heavy breathing indicated by nostril
that imperceptibly flare
a sheer grin of joy lights up countenance ear to ear
despite impish quarks of this divine being so dear
as journey to inxs of nirvana induced ejaculated whispered clear
from being buck-naked bare.
If I overwhelm you, imagine me naked,
For that's how I treat you and find it quite nice!
Empty hand, naked body, what is there to threaten?
When speaking to strangers, it's quite sound advice.
I smile at your short hairs (but hope you can't see mine)
Admire too, the curves you may dream that you hide,
I've got actual 'fingerprint,' lasting forever,
Though presence is absent, I know you, inside!
To see you 'buck naked' takes us home to Eden,
'Acceptance of Grace' is our pardon from sin,
Naked thoughts so transparent, we all live in freedom,
(Who walks with the Father will know peace within.)
Brian Johnston
June 1st, 2018
What the fish saw
I cannot still unsee
Naked, stark naked
Sitting there was
Uncle sam and
The statue of liberty
Buck naked at
The playboy mansion
So much for old fashioned
I guess this has been going
On for some time
Our leaders our washingtons
Have hardly shaped a
Mountain side
United Free States of America (North and South)
I saw you grandma,
you were buck naked
in a Buick
and I thought 'hey you’.
I saw you on a
`who's your baby-daddy' show,
you wore a pic
of the killer Ernesto Guevara
on your T -
I thought 'hey you’.
Behind old photographs
secret lives
remain radio-active
there is fall-out.
I saw you in a fishy tale
making out with hippy waves;
I thought 'hey'.
In the funeral home
a portrait of you
silver frame.
Hey, grandma!
I hear your silver laughter
see the rainbows,
the flowers.
Hear a silver song or two
as you enter the flames,
the silver flames.
'Hey you'.
KEEPING HOPE ALIVE IN THE WINTER COLD
Buck naked branches of Nature’s rooted skeletons
stoically raise bared arms—piercing chilled skies.
All around and through their spaces, the wrath of winter
reveals once hidden scenes leaves of summer and spring
so cleverly concealed from wandering, discerning eyes.
Despite the seemingly depressive cold sight this could be,
the “spoiler alert” of Nature’s circadian themes,
warm our hearts, fuel our faith, and keep alive our hopes:
We awaiting the unseen justice and liberty
that we hope the summer and spring will bring.
Volatile Hazardous Noxious Material...
Spews out the maw
bare n paws size of a bear
yes, him Donald Trump
with maniacal glare
gussied up as inane
name calling offensive
analogous to an overstuffed
ego freezing cold stare
putrid enfilade flatulence issuing
from his doughy derriere
smug with a smirk, the
Grinch would sleigh deer,
where aroma of venison
shish kabob filling the air
his degrading hashtagged lipped
puckered tripe packs a wallop
with palpable fear,
that such juvenile beast smear
ring will define opponents
like prey caught between crosshair,
especially worrisome trapping
vying potential presidential candidates
leaving socialist liberal
reputations in total disrepair
free doling "FAKE" infomercials
nary reducing status as bajillionaire
playing for keeps commander in chief
finagling constitution if necessary
apropos to mutineer
similar to GMO crafted by topnotch
University of Pennsylvania
(Whar torn) bioengineer
imprisoning protesters, who do not share
self indulgence dressed up as debonair
bigoted, egregiously impious buccaneer
running democracy into the ground
all the while erecting towering
complex edifices declare
ring dictatorial henchmen to commandeer
swaths of gerrymandered districts
population forced to puff their
light brown dyed
(in the wool) sprayed hair
groomed swiftly tailored harried flare
ring styled matching couture identical
to an emperor in new clothes,
i.e. essentially buck naked bare
as a newborn babe throwing tantrum
while strapped into
Taj Mahal sized high chair
that bestrides a golf course
encompassing the entire Northern hemisphere.
Balmy january fifth two thousand twenty three
pardon moi as I self plagiarize
with slight modifications
cuz following words written
at least an Earth's orbit ago
exhibits pearls of jocularity.
I ran than jumped high
into the upper atmosphere
like a faux young American
landing on the lunar surface
frisky buck naked and bare
no matter weight of world
and personal woes oppressive,
yours truly shrugged,
(she loves you yea... yea... yea...
think Atlas) "faking" without care
free, able, eager, ready, and
willing to dare
daubing, muddying, and wading
metrical feet into stream
of consciousness (think)
metaphorical earthenware
placid figurative smooth as glassware
reflecting mine mien
mean disheveled hare
reed state of swiftly tailored body,
mind and spirit long
acclimated, accompanied,
and accustomed
with mental, physical,
and spiritual malfunctions
ever since birth,
(or even in utero), where
biological mutations did interfere
easily availing self
as token "scapegoat
school kids did taunt and jeer
futilely screeching nevertheless
targeted and doomed killdeer
lamely seeking safety, albeit laughable
pencil necked geek longhair
donned as outdated "hippie"
lame excuse for cheesy mouseketeer
every day of younglife (mine) wanted
me "mommy dearest" near,
cuz yours truly
felt like kin outlier
one lonely human
being within alienation
forever seeking salvation
courtesy wing and prayer
ill fitting analogous to round hole
raised to accept unconventional
credo, gospel (according
to Matthew) mores as quare
figurative peg thus revere
ring boyhood, because
growing up scare
re: especially as
undersized withdrawn tear
huff eyed little lad
donning monogrammed underwear
“enlightenment touché”
honoring inimitable Voltaire where
he unabashedly espoused
freedom of religion,
freedom of expression,
and separation of church and state.