Best Bowel Movement Poems

As Joe was biking down the side of the road
He ran across a chap with a dearth of driving skills.  
Or more accurately, the driver almost ran over Joe; 
'Twas one of life’s unwanted thrills.

A spirited exchange ensued between them
About who was in the...

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Slammed  out  Bam

For a moment I will fantasize 
Lead him  on a trip
Make him realize 
this is more than a strip
boy you got to recognize
you have to get a grip
We play a game of spin the bottle
With you my guts slowly drip
Kiss...

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Rancid lemon rope squeeze
around a rotten tomato neck tie,
crooked odor bow hanging out of place 
Acid reflux raisin tax bleed;
dripping spoiled, milquetoast lies
out a sour-twisted, prune puckered face

Tart tongue 
sulfur speak disorderly,
dirty saliva fingers in the propaganda pie
Such a bowel movement disgrace
Bottom rung
bung opening vault...

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Less than twenty-four hours after dashing off a poem 
   explaining why i wanted to die
found me experiencing physical duress vis a vis, 
   a bowel movement wherein waste unable to expel 
   from the anus of this guy
which...

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gluteus maximus left and right half moon cheek
   re: byte size buttock 
attached via usb (uniform firm behind) to this freak
   with bowel movement incontinence + gas filled gut
evoking contortionist frown stretching to lowest peak
 perched upon porcelain goddess where elimination...

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The Ballad of Stinking Mick

Now Mick hung close to a Butt verbose,
And the cheese it ran like treacle,
Some said it was on the bloody nose,
That he lived, was thought unbelievable,

For he was a hairy Wombat Louse,
Hitchhiking on a vehicle,
He tried sucking up to a Mouse,
got...

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This vetted and fully fettered minute 
 has been supplied by Time-Ex
 - Even before you know it, it's gone

This beautiful garden escape,
 sponsored by the Next apple products 
 Ijuice - A refreshing way to swallow it and by
 Isauce - When you want...

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There's this little fuzzy wuzzy bunny,
Who all year round eats loads of honey.
Now you’d expect his tummy to be runny
This fuzzy wuzzy little bunny

However, the honey has an adverse effect
And when I tell you, you will not like it I expect
The poor sod suffers from...

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yes, this daft punk pink animal from farm ville will newt axe
any thank u mooch positive word does not rick choir whet backs
now i hold out virtual fig leaf tub buffer 
   end share fiber filled meal of flax
sitting on porcelain throne, while...

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gluteus maximus left and right half moon cheek
   re: byte size buttock 
attached via usb (uniform firm behind) to this freak
   with bowel movement incontinence + gas filled gut
evoking contortionist frown stretching to lowest peak
 perched upon porcelain goddess where elimination...

Continue reading...

“Truth isn’t truth,”
that’s what some Cap’n Obvious toady recently said

He was pissy mad, when his angry tears wet the bed

Lieutenant Rudy Brown-Nose 
a has-been sniffing the swine caboose breeze:
Loco breath wafting 
between sulfuric methane,   prune puckered lips — 
sphincter pie holes half-closed

Politrician power...

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Thank you all for coming out tonight
Thanks for listening
You probably just want to see what I got
Well thanks for witnessing
Hallelujah,
My words will run right through you
No bowel movement
Just my combination
Of vowels and consonants
My show
So lyrical
Rhymes so nice
They make you feel
Spiritual
Get to your feet
When I speak
Because...

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less than twenty four hours after dashing off a poem 
   explaining why i wanted to die
found me experiencing physical duress vis a vis, 
   a bowel movement wherein waste unable to expel 

   from the anus of this...

Continue reading...

gluteus maximus left and right half moon cheek

re: byte size buttock attached via usb 
   
(uniform firm behind) to this freak

with bowel movement 
   
incontinence + gas filled gut evoking contortionist 
   
frown stretching to lowest peak

perched upon porcelain...

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100% Natural psyllium husk delivered solid ecstasy

As of late - I could not but barely move
mine whole body felt
analogous to sluggish mollusk
frequent constipation found yours truly
doubled over in gastrointestinal agony

as if elephant or red (livid with rage)
bull thrust his tusk
into lower abdominal area dawn to...

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