Best Bollocks Poems

How different this place
this sanctuary feels, here
inside one’s head. Where
insidious illusions fondle
a subvert mind, and obscenities
resonate within the confusion,
when fidgety creatures, assume
guardianship of my preternatural
situation, scurry around my space,
creating lattice of fabrication
across the quaking ceiling.
My imagination becoming
their fodder, my perception
their power, my tenacity
their strength, before...

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The left blame the right, the right blame the left,
both concealed in ideology logically lost on me.

It's not that I don't understand, there's no one with which I stand,
both succeed in ways necessary then turn sour though a good recipe.

The point and blame at those...

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i read indulgence mid scripted words

breaking all the rules and then some,

what be greater than gutting & swallowing

uttermost concentration of language

critically consummated or otherwise,

communing within written ideologies

something profoundly reverent or

perhaps deliberate liberating nonsense,

nonetheless commonsensical compunction to 

the discerning foresightedness of poets

& enduring escape artists 'tween...

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Is the word “fart” a naughty word

Hope not... I find it cute and giggly

But don't go by me, my mind is a little warped

Words are just words with letters strung together

Strange how any mention of our private parts

Should never be said in public

“Uvula” sounds really...

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You think you're Godzilla 
but you're just a Gorilla,
that's what happens when you've got gonorrhea,
my skin colours vanilla
my skills are killa and real
you're run of the mill, a fail
can't you tell you didn't do well,
that Kartel manure smell
of Kountry music don't sell,
a wannabe that wants...

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I write like bakers bake
my rhymes make earth shake
Going into contest with me was your biggest mistake
I control the earths plates, tectonics, your rhymes are bollocks
I cause land slides and earthquakes
I don't hate but I do devastate,
Is the rhythm of your rhyme hidden?
I'm going back...

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With a mag called POETRY, I spent time
Hoping to find verses sublime and sage
And for all I read, not two words that rhymed
Just chopped up prose splayed all over the page.

This left me just a little bit perplexed
So I decided to investigate
What I did find...

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In this humid summer air 
I don't wear my underwear 
my bollocks get all sweaty, 
for that I do not care.

It's not amusing they sweat profusely
along with the crack and sweaty pubes
whilst women have their sweaty boobies
seems we all have sweaty rude bits.

So if you...

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Active macho sperm told the passive egg
I am turned on darling eggie are you on the rag?
Eggie smiled and tumbled
Sperm's bollocks are bumbled
Eve pinched Adam's bum, " your dizzy balls sag"....

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Broke the door
Gotta Iphone4
A TV
Dvd
Laptop 
I can't stop
Popped back in the shop
Ooh! ooh! another Iphone
Gotta go home 
Cant carry any more
Me arms are gettin’ sore
But I think I can manage two more
So back into the store
For me 8month olds son a fluffy toy
And me 8year...

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* I wrote my first poem 2 years ago, to celebrate, I've written this poem where I've stole my own rhymes from my own poems and morphed it all together enjoy

I'm a quick wit picnic with sick tricks mentally
a fantastic acrobatic doing spins and splits...

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Derek and Eric said I'm Generic, 
a weird name but I'll wear it,
I'm cool, it's epic, Generic's so original 
like the South Park ginger kid,
"gingers have souls bluur".
 
MC Generic the genius generates 
with DJ Cliche real name Lee Shay 
from Vichy, genre Generic-king, 
begin...

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All the others row the boat slow while I crank up the motor....
Here we go let's start the show, I'm the show boater.

The entrance of the eminent,
with ability that's evident.
Poo fills your pants 
as you now know you haven't a chance.

I've had it with those...

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Lord bless the nihility
of spirit and entity
'cause my mind is pallid
like a deaf actor
in a silent film
but I'm not craven
just frowned and mortal
antique in the name
of a poetic justice
hesitating no more
sleepwalking in time
one of the nervous eaters
I'm the oxygen moron
joining the armies
of heavenly damned
to luminize...

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A caravan for a Turkish
not a tommy gun
you took the jam out of my doughnut
periwinkle blue
a desert eagle is not a replica nor a diamond
sweet enough without the sugar
that my son is why we're here
I think it's you who should behave
bollocks
all bets are off...

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