Best Bladders Poems
We're Covid free - restrictions lifted
Shop barriers, they have been shifted
But there’s still a queue
For the ladies loo
Weak bladders, us gals have been gifted!
Bars opened for drinking last night
At closing there’s a stupid fight
Folk have drunk too much beer
And they cannot think clear
These drunken brawls are such a fright
We’re finally free to go shopping
Pub’s open, at discos folk bopping
We can meet up with friends
At night time or weekends
No lockdown, but home’s where I’m stopping!
On the Isle of Man we have been covid free for 30 days and many restrictions have been lifted including social distancing but in general we are not doing anything different to how its been over the past 12 weeks - the BEST thing is I can visit mum in her care home once a week for 15 mins but because other people aren't using their slots I've been able to see her twice this week - I was one of few people who used to visit on a daily basis so I've been told if there are free slots I can request to go again. the border is still closed so hopefully we can remain virus free but we cannot be complacent.
6/19/20
Categories:
bladders, endurance, health, hope,
Form:
Limerick
Virginia's abound with hills that roll off her shoulders
Wet rocks glisten on the edge of the lazy water
Translucent fish arching through the cold channels
Silver barbed hooks rusting in tree trunks
Dangling over the water, and breathing life into the earth
Wet like your skin, see-through blue eyes
Making waves as the children pirouette off the stone cliffs
Disappearing into the emerald green and slate shadows
Meeting the cool rush of the river when they get down there
Or that old carp that Lizzy caught last summer but she let go
Swim bladders shining like mirrors, reflecting oily promises
Running after the great blue, pistons heaving in the hills
Soot on daddy's solemn brow, over his gentle eyes
They all come running, soaking and plodding home
Eager hands grasping for the pie in the window
While the last beat of the summer wind kicks around
Makes the quilt with many colors take flight on the line
One more day under the belt, and another notch in the bed post
Sleep like kings, little Southern Royalty
That old time hang dog moon will see you through
Categories:
bladders, beautiful, old, summer, old,
Form:
Free verse
The planes were lined up in a queue,
A reminder of something I knew.
They awaited permission
Like at intermission
In theaters outside of the loo.
One by one each one skyward immersed
As the rest inched up closer to first
But like women in line
Still not given the sign
There were tempers (and bladders!) to burst.
Categories:
bladders, flying,
Form:
Limerick
It was a big backyard,
big enough to hold
the imagination of a boy -
trees to climb,
sheds to explore,
a large lawn to swing a bat
or kick a ball
and in a quiet corner,
a sanctuary for prayer
when my grandmother,
bent over and groaning
with angina, had me
go there and ask God
for help.
There were long summers
of almonds, plump grapes,
peaches and apricots
and cold winters bursting
with big, bright oranges.
There were places where
you could heal a hurt
or hide when bruised and full
of fear. Sad how it grew
smaller with the years
like an old religion,
less important to life,
ignored until it shrank
to the size of a lemon tree
nourished only
by the beer filled bladders
of teenage boys back from
the local pub,
dying for a pee.
Categories:
bladders, childhood, nostalgia, religion, teenage,
Form:
Free verse
Let off a lead,
freedom bounds
as if all joy is held
within a bouncing ball
to be retrieved
and brought back to lay
at a lover's feet. Then
sent off to do again.
Smells wafting
from tree trunks,
fence posts and tufted grass
flood the air with molecules
sending canine bladders
into spasm eager
to mark the moment
as their own.
Focussed on what is firm
beneath their feet,
every nerve they have
is wired to ‘now’
whilst I, looking on,
try and retrieve phantoms
bouncing across what was
and what is yet to come.
Categories:
bladders, dog, joy, time,
Form:
Free verse
A is for algae, red, green, blue cells, soaking up sun, sliming teeth
B is for bacterial mat, clumping underneath, earliest born, never asleep
C is for coral reef, the place we all find cover or the sand parrotfish chew and release
D is for diatom, all seeded calcium, all float free, all denizens barely seen
E is for eelgrass, nursery meadows of the anchovy, and other browsers of green
F is for fan worm, filter feeder like a flower, 8000 species on which fish feed
G is for giant kelp, floating on bladders of air they’re forests of cold waters clean
H is for helmet, the royalty of snails who protect our feet, queen, emperor, king
I is for isopod, the chameleon crustacean, they color match what they eat
J is for jellyball, or cannonball jellyfish, not upside down or moon, avoid their heat
K is for keyhole limpet, favorite food of ochre stars, will erect its own wall
L is for laver, the sea lettuce of nori, it swirls red skirt as ocean falls
M is for mermaid’s purse, the sack of the skate whose yolk keeps them alive
N is for nerite, the prisoner striped snail of the rocky zone as numerous as a hive
O is for oyster drills, the snails that slurp oysters and use them to lay eggs
P is for pleurobranch, a sea slug answer for oranges, with one active leg
Q is for quahog, the bivalve seaman who can survive eating the mud
R is for rove beetle, the one waiting to snatch the unwary beach hopper for good
S is for saxitoxin, those red tides produced by mating that can paralyze humans
T is for tubular sponge, they squish, bore and encrust as space lends
U is for urchin, those spiny skinned balls, no eyes or noses but dig food in sand
V is for Venus, Music Volutes dined or Vampire Squids skimming along land
W is for whelk, not the musically inclined, but the slow moving snail in a shell
X is for X and a half, the six rayed star, hungry for anything on the half shell
Y is for yucca, blooming on the beach, they bloom nice and tolerate the sand
Z is for Zostera marinara, the address of eel grass when they're feeling grand
All of this green life is what crunches, stinks, dries and slips underfoot
The rest that find the housing and dining compatible means someone’s on the look.
Categories:
bladders, adventure, animal, beach, death,
Form:
Couplet
Absolutes
1
Darkness dominates
the earthly cycle at year’s end.
This is true
no matter how many fools
legislate otherwise.
2
Dogs have unerring internal clocks
and finite bladders.
Taken together,
these absolutes of nature
guarantee that I’ll witness
every dawn from November to March
regardless of my
preferences or exhortations.
I don’t have a problem with this,
although I’d much rather be relishing
the warmth of bed and wife.
I trade comfort for being part of
cold quiet pinking toward sunrise,
snow blowing horizontal,
rain sometimes gentle,
often thrown hard against the ground
heaped upon the poor dogs
answering the call
of another of nature’s absolutes:
when you gotta’ pee,
you gotta’ pee.
Categories:
bladders, dog, nature,
Form:
Free verse
Younger people slake their thirst -
No reason to endure it -
With water or another drink
As quick as they procure it.
But older folk will agonize
Although they may secure it,
'Cause if they drink enough to quench,
Their bladders just can't store it.
Though young and old alike may share
A quenching-thirst ability,
It's only older ones who care
'Bout where's the next facility.
Categories:
bladders, age,
Form:
Rhyme
There was a bishop whose sermons were boring
Seven hours long made members begin snoring.
The bishop took offense
But he had no defense.
Busted bladders had warped all the flooring.
Categories:
bladders, humor, religion,
Form:
Limerick
As time quickly approaches
On the planed escape
Gunther smuggles the files in
While Mildred bakes the cake
But that doesn't much matter
For our two on the run
In all the confusion
The oven was never turned on
So they slipped out the front door
When Gladys the receptionist was gone
Out for her morning coffee
And cigarette on the lawn
They made it as far as the sidewalk
As far as the authorities could tell
When they both turned around
Before their bladders gave out
They need a new plan of escape
One that can be followed with ease
Before it's to late
Since they're both weak in the knees
Our hero's will have to wait another day
For their chance at freedoms song
For now they'll hang up their walkers
And devise another plan on getting gone
It was a heated night of Bingo
When Gunther got the idea
They'd go out with the wash
In a basket both hid
So they packed up their dentures
Along with their Poly Grip
As both of them readied
For their laundry trip
Now in the back of the truck
Rolling down 95
Same age as our escapee's
If you care to count time
They later hijacked the truck
When the driver they sacked
Now they travel life's highway
With nothing but the wind to their back
I had a friend ask me to write a poem for her mom
and the other inmates at the retirement home...Hope they like it!
Categories:
bladders, funny, humor,
Form:
Light Verse
swift, creeping cat, bellying
lightlessly across
the backyards by night
a Cimmerian shadow with dun
short-haired quickness
not
so easily
caught
along the mottled sidewalk
the bounds of the city blocks, cast slight
beneath the dappling yellow of the
street lamps
a coloring
almost unseen ( for its own sake,
unseen )
a feline faith
dining on mice heads and rape wine, and
long adapting
daydreams
desire but bits and baubles of unfettered
fate
free and stupid to winnow its own blue
ambit and way, its own quirky
arc
blue guitars tuned with cat gut, oh
strings of mouser stomachs and bladders
twisted, tight weaves to
seized and
plucked
notes
( by fingers that once strung the
bow )
Categories:
bladders, allegory, allusion, america, anger,
Form:
Free verse
MONITOR'S PREMONITION
Your heart is the size
Of your fist
Is it a hearsay?
A tell tale
A belief-
He is booked
Tentacles arrested him
With vacuum locks.
Lying pale in blue open coat
Chest, right and left
Ankles, wrists and abdomen.
Lines on screen dances
With eerie steps
Primitive dance of aborigines.
Is he sleeping
A dreamless sleep,
Lustreless, but final
Dripping capsules locked.
Succession of births
Immanent sense of sin
Of births previous
Last step to transmigration
A drop of blood
Libation and flood.
Graphic lines weary
Ending up
Straight line to infinity.
A muffled cough
Chocked
Bladders pumping, shocks
A tornado, frightened silence
Hush-hush-
Tentacles withdrawn,
Mummified in sleeping bag
Alarms, sirens
Traveller to Zion
A long ride, the last.
With icy hands laid
On prey
LCD is switched off.
Categories:
bladders, death,
Form:
Epitaph
Bet You Did Not Know
Several mammalian species
When dropping their mammalian feces
Just before the big push
Will align their tush
Or so says this researches thesis
He watched 70 dogs of 30 plus breeds
Out in the woods completing their deeds
For each doggy sample
Through the woods did he trample
Until at last he did concede
At each defecation
And each urination
The researched noted the stance
And how each dog aligned
With his magnetic sign
And decided it was much more than chance
It seemed dogs did prefer to align their fur
Along the axis north to south
If the axis was stable
They always were able
To point to due north with their mouth
Just what did this gain us?
Just what did we learn?
When doggies took dumps, which way they did turn?
No we learned that in nature the magnetic field
Did something to some that to date was concealed
Maybe we’ve magnets buried deep in our brain
That someday, somehow we could possibly train
To give us directions when we’re lost or confused
I know that is something that I could sure use
And maybe this proves what they say with feng suhi
When designing our bathrooms, toilets and bidet
Our bowels will feel better, our bladders rejoice
If we let mother nature express her own voice
Uncle Mike
Categories:
bladders, animal, education,
Form:
Rhyme
Dawn Forever Rising
It starts
Street lights fade
their tiny soft-winged tenants flee
checkerboard facades change
last night's illumined squares now dark
become but yesterday's portals
some polished
some weather streaked
all reaching to reflect first breath
Steam ascends from the city's vacuum
gratings rattle with subterranean yawning
people-movers wind their way
through mazes of starts
stops
Topside tracks
like fixed contrails
glisten with frost
not yet enjoined by speeding transit
their skeletal tributaries
readying the trickle of humanity
into a mass ocean of glass and steel survival
Uptown
Downtown
A street sweeper's tire rubber and swirling brushes
beneath the overalled believer in Lottos
holding firm the wheel and gears of faith
of trust
gathering gutter-lodged disposal
glass and plastic
paper and cardboard
spinning into the vortex
lifting yesterday's careless cast-offs
inviting today's Starbuck anew
reflections of another kind
Leashes strain from anxious sniffing
bladders hold
ready to burst
seeking just the right tree
the right hydrant
the "ah, yes" that only a canine can know
Rays of sun begin spilling down alleyways
the long-tail rodents scamper for cover
their bellies full
seeking safety after a long night of ancient ritual
food of anything
digestion of history
all in a night's work
Suddenly
Full light cascades down avenues and streets
itinerant pigeons and seagulls spread habitual wings
ready to adore the steadies
the loners
park walkers
window ledge dependables
homeless with dance cards of crumbs
envying the moneyed insomniacs throwing chunks
baguettes gone stale
fit for few
a feast for many
senses loving the coos and warbles
the bobbing thank you
the reciprocal bonding
few but the lonely can appreciate
Finally
The steel and glass imitation of nature
comes fully alive
a sun's illumination without reserve
energy's provision for another day
Rich mix with the poor
money exchanges hands
the hotdog vendor
the hedge fund taker
the cookie jar provider
Most become tomorrow's yesterday
knowing little of the other light
requiring no rising or setting
illumination that never grows dim
something as nothing
forever light
never of darkness
Such for some
awakens from a New York sunrise
this dichotomy like no other
forever reminding
our eyes of dawn
one's inner light
is forever rising
Categories:
bladders, introspection,
Form:
Free verse
Moonshine hues in a powerful projection
peep in to light the lovers’ cavern with profusion.
Her tibias go weak; on the stone table, displayed
were wooden large bowls full and neatly arrayed.
Her colon constricts and she retains a gas, about to leak,
as she wants very much to look a bride, composed and meek.
A graceful raise of clavicles and a sexy push of the pelvic girdle
masked her gluttonous stare which clearly is to tolerate no hurdle.
She sniffs cautiously as her bridegroom leads her to her chair;
delicious soup of small intestines and roasted gall bladders for two to share.
A huge portion he serves her with exaggerated tenderness
“This for you, a first humble meal, my beautiful beloved ogress…”
Tibias, colon (large intestine), clavicles, pelvic girdle,small intestines, gall bladders.
12/09/16
A body of work (Viv Wigley)
Use of 6 body parts
Categories:
bladders, fantasy, humor,
Form:
Couplet