Best Bet Poems
Happiness comes in many forms
Remember the thrill of your first born
How could you have known at the time
The challenge of keeping things in line
Sometimes seemed too much to bare
Many obstacles, more than your share
Finally you make it all the way through
Hard to replace that joy you knew
Now life's taken on a whole new look
Your zest for living's like an open book
A positive attitude goes a long long way
To help you through the darkest of days
Don't let gremlins get under my skin
Tell them. “Get lost, I won't give in!”
It can seem like the Himalayas at times
Stop and think, is it worth the climb?
You bet your sweet bippy it is, my friend
There's nothing more rewarding in the end
Than a life all filled with laughter and joy
Just like Christmas and brand new toy
Happiness comes in many forms
Try making “happy” your everyday norm
Life's done and over way to soon
Live it to the fullest, sing happy tunes!
© Jack Ellison 2013
We met in yonder tavern
hay up top o' meikle hill
bousing nappy til a' fou
the nite drave on wi' rairing voices
an the nappy growing better
a souter gars a bet wi' lades o' siller
the deil laughs as they skelpit
slippin' in the dub. Ro'nd birch
an meikle stane they slipped and slid
sic boldness as at deil th'y laughed
full wi' tippeny fearing nae evil.
auld Nick ken weel his turn was nigh
turning into a meikle towzie tyke
hay pounced an thy muck'd thir breeks
an skelpit lik pussie's for shelter
thou'll get thy fairin laughed the deil
as they reach'd safty o' key-stane
ae was shaking kenning thy luck that nite.
translation
A Drunk Bet
We met in yonder tavern
high up on top of huge hill
boozing strong ale until drunk
the night drove on with roaring voices
A cobbler makes a bet with loads of money
the devil laughs as they raced
slipping in the mud . Round birch
and huge stone they slipped and slid.
Such boldness as at devil they laughed
full with whisky not fearing evil.
Auld Nick knew well his turn was near
turning into a huge shaggy dog
he pounced and they messed their trousers
and raced like hares for shelter.
You will get what's coming
at them laughed the devil
as they reached the safety of the key stone
each was shaking knowing they were lucky that night.
I made a bet
with my youngest
grandchild Adrian
No big money
We bet for a penny each
The result was that Adrian lost
Huge loss for a little boy
He tried to blow it away
His brother reminded him of the penny
A thoughtful answer came:
"Grandma does not care about money"
... "She can rather get four good huggs"
- True story
05.08.2013
A-L Andresen :)
I bet on a horse and it won
50 quid is not a huge sum
So I bet again and still won
But 100 quid is still a small sum
So I bet again and guess what?
Yes, I won
But 300 quid is still not a big sum
So you know what I did? Yes u do
I bet again and yes I won
But 500 quid is not a big sum,
So I decided to go to the zoo
to buy a gorilla who had flu
I got him cheap, but he was big,
bigger then my 500 sum
I bet he could swim, jump, play
polo and clean out a sump
He did all this with much glee, but I
am still not rich you see
My poorly gorilla costs me a lot, the
vets are an expensive lot
So my 500 quids are no more, and
my gorilla looks sad even more.
So I sold my pet to my vet, cus he
wanted him as a pet
Now I have 500 to bet, and yes on a
horse. I bet
My horse was called gorilla in the
mist
Gosh what a fantastic twist.
Surely my horse should win this
race, and yes he did, at a casual gait.
Now I have 1000 quid to my name,
so back to the zoo, for some other
game.
I brought a giraffe, with my stake,
he had a long neck and he smelled
great
But my story ends here as my Dr
appeared.
Come on he said to me, what have
written on your pad?
Wow said my Dr that’s just great,
now time for your medication date!
orange skies shimmered
desert sands rattled
Jackpot cup jingles
There once was a young booger called Bet,
Who was learning ‘bout surfing the ‘net.
As her tutor called Dougal
Introduced her to Google,
She said, ‘Surfing? I’m not even wet.’
*Booger – surfing term for body boarder
reptiles rattle sand
the penniless bag nickels
barbarians drink
First time I saw her I didn't know
If I'd seen an angel or if, I'd seen a ghost
Just could not believe that she was real
I'd never felt the way she made me feel
.
And her eyes looked at me
In a way I'd never seen
That said "boy it's a gamble, but you can place your bets on me."
And no matter where we go
Or no matter where we've been
When I look into your eyes
I'd bet on you again
.
And we've been down some hard roads
And felt all alone
I've put her thru hell
But you'd never know
And I've pushed her away
When God knows I've needed her most
.
And I don't deserve her
Sure as hell didn't earn her
Now we're growing old
And I just can't believe
That gamble I took so long ago
Sure paid off for me!
.
And her eyes looked at me
In a way I'd never seen
That said "boy it's a gamble, but you can place your bets on me."
And no matter where we go
Or no matter where we've been
When I look into your eyes
I'd bet on you again
.
Sometimes late at night when the darkness sets in
All I can sense is the fear in my head
I reach out to her she's still there
Where she's always been
My angel my woman my lover . . .
My best friend
.
And her eyes looked at me
In a way I'd never seen
That said "boy it's a gamble, but you can place your bets on me."
And no matter where we go
Or no matter where we've been
When I look into your eyes
I'd bet on you again
My angel my woman my lover . . .
My best friend
These are my people
they're not yours
or are they?
You don't want them to be
can see that
clearly...
So how come you come around?
How come your attraction is mixed with such
reticence?
Yeah, I get it that you never thought about it. And you
don't have to forever but here we are doing
this and I gotta feelin'
You wanna know what it means.
Happiness comes in many forms
Remember the thrill of your first born
How could you have known at the time
The challenge of keeping things in line
Sometimes seemed too much to bare
Many obstacles, more than your share
Finally you make it all the way through
Hard to replace that joy you knew
Now life's taken on a whole new look
Your zest for living's like an open book
A positive attitude goes a long long way
To help get you through the darkest days
Don't let gremlins get under my skin
Tell them. “Get lost, you evil twins!”
Life seems like the Himalayas at times
Stop and think, is it worth the climb?
You can bet your sweet bippy it is, my friend
There's nothing more rewarding in the end
Than a life all filled with laughter and joy
Just like Christmas and a brand new toy
Happiness comes in many forms
Remember make “happy” always the norm
Life is over and done way to soon
Live it to the fullest, sing happy tunes!
© Jack Ellison 2015
Strumming woes invade the greek pysche filled with ego and eid
three fingers wilted on the hands of destiny, tap mysteriously the mind lid
about to explode and summit like volcano , unknown as to its type
fate lines meander ,criss cross and form irregular hypes
crass brass of acts, shame the simpleton as he breaks into painful smile
never ever will that error be executed, he cries shoutingly
cannot retrace back that, is what kills so humungously
what an idiotic time that was when he bet fortune
on the loosing ,weak and unknown jockey and horse set
he was to and has lost the bet.
Bet You Did Not Know
Several mammalian species
When dropping their mammalian feces
Just before the big push
Will align their tush
Or so says this researches thesis
He watched 70 dogs of 30 plus breeds
Out in the woods completing their deeds
For each doggy sample
Through the woods did he trample
Until at last he did concede
At each defecation
And each urination
The researched noted the stance
And how each dog aligned
With his magnetic sign
And decided it was much more than chance
It seemed dogs did prefer to align their fur
Along the axis north to south
If the axis was stable
They always were able
To point to due north with their mouth
Just what did this gain us?
Just what did we learn?
When doggies took dumps, which way they did turn?
No we learned that in nature the magnetic field
Did something to some that to date was concealed
Maybe we’ve magnets buried deep in our brain
That someday, somehow we could possibly train
To give us directions when we’re lost or confused
I know that is something that I could sure use
And maybe this proves what they say with feng suhi
When designing our bathrooms, toilets and bidet
Our bowels will feel better, our bladders rejoice
If we let mother nature express her own voice
Uncle Mike
Many people have houses that are filled up with ghosts
And the problem they cause is the huge shortage of hosts
For there aren't many willing to tolerate that
Which is where I ride in with my ghost buster's hat.
It was long, long ago when I started to read
All those books about demons and statues that bleed
I became fascinated with all of that stuff
As I learned they were more than just hoaxes and guff.
But I slaved through the years learning everyday skills
While contenting myself with vicarious thrills
Till the time has arrived when I don't need to work
And I'm doing the job fearful owners will shirk.
For a modest retainer I bed myself down
In suburban locations, or sometimes in town
Which the families fled to preserve their own lives
When the husbands at last were convinced by their wives.
And I'll care for the place while concocting a plan
To evict all the 'tenants' just as soon as I can.
All my methods are those that have worked in the past,
From kind words to hard music that's of course set to blast.
In response to your unspoken question I'll say
That the ghosties occasionally come back to stay.
Which is how come "retainer" is the word that was used
And of gouging my clients I won't be accused.
BET YOU DIDN’T KNOW
bet you didn’t know
santa has a companion
he’s wooly and fat
nestled by the jolly elf
warming the world – santa’s cat
bingo's a game that
may or may not be fair but
always gives surprise.