I'M a Haunted House Sitter, You Bet
Many people have houses that are filled up with ghosts
And the problem they cause is the huge shortage of hosts
For there aren't many willing to tolerate that
Which is where I ride in with my ghost buster's hat.
It was long, long ago when I started to read
All those books about demons and statues that bleed
I became fascinated with all of that stuff
As I learned they were more than just hoaxes and guff.
But I slaved through the years learning everyday skills
While contenting myself with vicarious thrills
Till the time has arrived when I don't need to work
And I'm doing the job fearful owners will shirk.
For a modest retainer I bed myself down
In suburban locations, or sometimes in town
Which the families fled to preserve their own lives
When the husbands at last were convinced by their wives.
And I'll care for the place while concocting a plan
To evict all the 'tenants' just as soon as I can.
All my methods are those that have worked in the past,
From kind words to hard music that's of course set to blast.
In response to your unspoken question I'll say
That the ghosties occasionally come back to stay.
Which is how come "retainer" is the word that was used
And of gouging my clients I won't be accused.
Copyright © Roderick Molasar | Year Posted 2015
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