Best Bellybutton Poems
I shook my head
Knew the day’d be messy
Some poor sap
Was marrying my Aunt Bessie
She’d slept with half of Brooklyn
Flaunting her exploits all through town
The mayor, the banker, the deli clerk
Even the birthday party clown
A wedding gown, so fitted
Her bellybutton showed
Boobs shoved up high enough
To violate building code
Minutes before the shindig
She pulled me on the roof
Snatched a flask from her garter belt
Downing one hundred ninety proof
She wanted to call it off
No way she could comply
To promise for all her life
To only screw one guy
I told her she could do it
Like many other people do
She finally calmed down
And made her wedding day debut
She stumbled down the aisle
Tripping on her gown
Her daddy kept her steady
‘til the pastor stared her down
She blushed but pulled together
Long enough to give her vows
After the ceremonial kiss
Everyone went to carouse
Letting loose at the reception
She danced with all the boys
Twirling, flashing, grinning
Making all kinds of noise
I’d like to say things ended well
That monogamy she would master
But before the night was over
She got naked with the pastor
For Andrea's "Show Me the Funny" Contest
Categories:
bellybutton, satire, wedding, wedding,
Form:
Rhyme
"OMLET"
or
"The Taming Of A Screwball"
cast of characters:
Julius Caesar
A Roman Teenaged Kid
A Roman Guard
Brutus
A bunch of Caesars Girlfriends
A bunch of Roman Senators
Julius picked up the violin and looked at the
kid. ""Et playdimus youdimus?"" he asked.
"Nonimus!" replied the kid. "Cousinimus Nero
playsimus."
"Ahhhh," sighed Julius. "Prodigimus bratimus."
Suddenly a guard ran in, waving his sword and
shouting, "Mightymus Ceasermus! Brutumus et comingus!"
Just then Brutus comes in, followed by a bunch
of drunk senators. All of Caesars girl friends
run offstage screaming in terror.
"Ahhhh--Friendimus Brutumus..."" Julius said,
putting his arm around Brutus' shoulder.
Brutus took out a dagger and promptly
thrusted it up Caesars bellybutton.
"Ahhhhhhh--Brutumus!"" Caesar repeated.
"Youdimus screwdimus meedimus."
curtain
(applause)
Categories:
bellybutton, epic
Form:
Epic
THE IRISH INVENTED EVERYTHING
Ireland invented everything; I think it’s fair to say
From the automatic office door, to the LED display
We put the first man on the moon, conceived the mobile phone
Discovered Mars and Pluto, and of course, the twilight zone
Planes and trains and trucks and cars, were all invented here
We even had the concept, of putting twelve months in the year
We invented ships and submarines, and the humble coffee cup
Sure we even made Viagra, just to keep our peckers up
We invented drums and violins, then trumpets and guitars
But playing makes you thirsty, so we invented Irish bars
We developed all the medicine, on which the world depends
Then we gave you love and hatred, and the means to make amends
We discovered beer and cider, we discovered whiskey too
And we started brewing Guinness, which is very good for you
We gave you sweets and chocolate, and all that tasty stuff
And we invented soft pyjamas, plus that bellybutton fluff
We invented roads and pavements, and we introduced the bridge
The cooker and the washing machine, we even claim the fridge
We invented mirth and humour, and we taught the world to sing
Sure you gotta love the Irish ………….. We invented everything……….
Categories:
bellybutton, humor,
Form:
Rhyme
her brown skinned
body laying atop a
table top covered
by a white table
cloth but she is
naked yet dressed
as a buffet with
delights to eat
placed like plates
for to be self served
my finger tips imitate
chop sticks to take
the taste of her now
noodle hair with
seaweed eye brows
following further down
her cuisine figurine
fingering disoriented
flavors and spices
sipping the saki shot
puddling her bellybutton
pairing with her pear
hips where sit not fig
greens but the earthy
shiso leaves that by
uncovering these find
two slices of raw tuna
sashimi dripping blow
fish soup the deadly
delicacy i immediately
drink licking her bowl
clean liking her sticky
rice inner thighs i
find no longer fingers
but my tongue turning
over the table now
able to smell pickled
ginger and inhaling
the heat of
wasabi
Categories:
bellybutton, muse,
Form:
Ever try eating a Soft Taco Supreme
And not appear like a glutton
With stuff squirting out all over yourself
Down to your old bellybutton
It's all about this amazing experience
Wouldn't be as enjoyable without it
So forget about all those damn cleaning bills
They're part of the joyous trip
As you chomp away with gay abandon
The messier the better, for sure
Without the mess, you ain't no aficionado
Just someone trying to act mature
Acting prim and proper when eating a taco
Has never been part of the scene
So dig right in, the messier the better
Be a proud taco eating machine
© Jack Ellison 2014
Categories:
bellybutton, food, humor,
Form:
Quatrain
"OMLET"
or
"The Taming Of A Screwball"
(Or: Rules Are Written By Idiots, Followed by Fools)
by Ron Arbuthnot
cast of characters:
Julius Caesar
A Roman Teenaged Kid
A Roman Guard
Brutus
A bunch of Caesars Girlfriends
A bunch of Roman Senators
Julius picked up the violin and looked at the
kid. ""Et playdimus youdimus?"" he asked.
"Nonimus!" replied the kid. "Cousinimus Nero
playsimus."
"Ahhhh," sighed Julius. "Prodigimus bratimus."
Suddenly a guard ran in, waving his sword and
shouting, "Mightymus Ceasermus! Brutumus et comingus!"
Just then Brutus comes in, followed by a bunch
of drunk senators. All of Caesars girl friends
run offstage screaming in terror.
"Ahhhh--Friendimus Brutumus..."" Julius said,
putting his arm around Brutus' shoulder.
Brutus took out a dagger and promptly
thrusted it up Caesars bellybutton.
"Ahhhhhhh--Brutumus!"" Caesar repeated.
"Youdimus screwdimus meedimus."
curtain
(applause)
© ron arbuthnot aka ron wilson
Categories:
bellybutton, patriotic, philosophy, political, society,
Form:
Classicism
"OMLET"
or
"The Taming Of A Screwball"
cast of characters:
Julius Caesar
A Roman Teenaged Kid
A Roman Guard
Brutus
A bunch of Caesars Girlfriends
A bunch of Roman Senators
Julius picked up the violin and looked at the
kid. ""Et playdimus youdimus?"" he asked.
"Nonimus!" replied the kid. "Cousinimus Nero
playsimus."
"Ahhhh," sighed Julius. "Prodigimus bratimus."
Suddenly a guard ran in, waving his sword and
shouting, "Mightymus Ceasermus! Brutumus et comingus!"
Just then Brutus comes in, followed by a bunch
of drunk senators. All of Caesars girl friends
run offstage screaming in terror.
"Ahhhh--Friendimus Brutumus..."" Julius said,
putting his arm around Brutus' shoulder.
Brutus took out a dagger and promptly
thrusted it up Caesars bellybutton.
"Ahhhhhhh--Brutumus!"" Caesar repeated.
"Youdimus screwdimus meedimus."
curtain
(applause)
© Ron Wilson
Categories:
bellybutton, adventure, angst, art, black
Form:
Imagism
Santa went out last night dressed as mutton.
Partied too much; was a real butt on.
Woke with aching hangover.
Mrs. Santa, boil-over,
Threaten to punch in his bellybutton.
You need to deliver the children's toys.
Or you'll ruin the joy for girls and boys.
Sleigh and reindeer are roundup,
Leave Before children wake-up.
Santa mumbled, stop making so much noise.
Feeling awful, asked, give me till sixer.
Mrs. Santa did mix an elixir.
Santa drank till he tossed up
His cookies and liquor sup.
Weak with sore belly, sobered up quicker.
12/7/2020
Categories:
bellybutton, christmas, drink, pain,
Form:
Limerick
Down you upside hanging
By me danger dangling by
Bellybutton unsweatering
You sprite! Grin giggling
At me look laughing at
Legs in blue jean wrapping
You and tree branch playing
Just me girl game watching just
Wrists undressing, lil' tushy out peaking
On you keep swing-a-linging
For me song singing for
Finger gifts wind-dancing
By magic kisses you blowing
To me mush gushing to
Face o' yours flushing
You red from blood rushing
And me too blushing and
Feet maryjaned still on holding
To you boy-toying
After me trick scheming after
Hands stretch straight reaching
And you too much fun having
With me joke teasing, fooling with
Hair clean scenting the air swim-swishing
Around you and your Mom's calling
For me heart racing for
You and me to play without falling
For you too young for boy friending
For now me too young for dreaming for
Brown-eyed girl loving.
Categories:
bellybutton, friendship, happiness, life, love,
Form:
Free verse
"OMLET"
or
"The Taming Of A Screwball"
cast of characters:
Julius Caesar
A Roman Teenaged Kid
A Roman Guard
Brutus
A bunch of Caesars Girlfriends
A bunch of Roman Senators
Julius picked up the violin and looked at the
kid. ""Et playdimus youdimus?"" he asked.
"Nonimus!" replied the kid. "Cousinimus Nero
playsimus."
"Ahhhh," sighed Julius. "Prodigimus bratimus."
Suddenly a guard ran in, waving his sword and
shouting, "Mightymus Ceasermus! Brutumus et comingus!"
Just then Brutus comes in, followed by a bunch
of drunk senators. All of Caesars girl friends
run offstage screaming in terror.
"Ahhhh--Friendimus Brutumus..."" Julius said,
putting his arm around Brutus' shoulder.
Brutus took out a dagger and promptly
thrusted it up Caesars bellybutton.
"Ahhhhhhh--Brutumus!"" Caesar repeated.
"Youdimus screwdimus meedimus."
curtain
(applause)
© ron wilson aka Vee Bdosa the Doylestown Poet
Categories:
bellybutton, satire,
Form:
Imagism
Imagine if we could be transported back
Just pushing on our old bellybutton
We'd have to be careful when taking a bath
We'd be a kid again all of a sudden
Happily, we'd be done a whole lot sooner
Not nearly as much body to wash
If my auntie barges in and playfully giggles
I'd cover up my naughty bits, by gosh
Probably be other embarrassing moments
Like seeing my dear sister naked
Of course she wouldn't have any lady bumps yet
She'd be so upset to be invaded
Sometimes this funny brain that I own
Entertains me for hours on end
Goes off to this make believe world of mine
And play with my imaginary friends
D'ya think I should see one of those doctors
That treat us very special souls
Whose reality is playing with Lego and stuff
And believe in Carol's Grandpa Troll
© Jack Ellison 2014
Categories:
bellybutton, fantasy, humorous,
Form:
Quatrain
There has never been a time since
Societies emerged,
In any generation where
Communities diverged.
Mankind is like the animals
Who gather into herds;
Proving he is no different
Than mammals, fish and birds.
It isn’t easy to accept,
But we can see what’s true.
If we investigate the facts,
And what applies to you.
Societies create guidelines
On how to look and act,
They tell us what is beautiful,
Acceptable in fact.
They convince us that our choices
Are made by us alone.
So we live with the illusion
That our will is our own.
We follow what is popular,
What helps us play our roles.
We even let society
Shape our dreams and goals.
What you think makes you different
Is nothing of the kind.
People who follow earthly trends
Don’t think with their own mind.
Look at that bellybutton ring,
Tattoo, or gothic style.
It’s evidence, provided for
Society’s profile.
You workout to shape your body
And fit the latest rage.
But all this effort does for you...
Is put you in a cage;
Along with all the other sheep
Who follow current trends.
If we were individuals,
Would we look like our friends?
For individuality
Will sail against the wind.
No gale created by its peers
Can make its mainsail bend.
Yet most are like the stars above,
Too many to number.
The vastness of the universe
Drives the soul to slumber.
And it is not until the flesh
Has withered on the bones,
That man can see that he’s been lost
Upon a sea of clones.
And when he finds that clarity,
At last he’ll understand;
The mountains that he feared to climb
Were only grains of sand.
They cry out with their final breath,
As they drift to the sea;
But youth pays no attention to
The old society.
Our understanding comes too late,
For time is moving swift.
A new society is born,
As generations drift.
And I can’t help but wonder if
You’ll also drift that far,
Before you sail against the wind,
And find out who you are.
Categories:
bellybutton, life, philosophy, socialtime, universe,
Form:
Rhyme
Ever try eating a Soft Taco Supreme
And not appear like a glutton
With stuff squirting out all over yourself
Down to your old bellybutton
It's all about this amazing experience
Wouldn't be as enjoyable without it
So forget about all those damn cleaning bills
They're part of the joyous trip
As you chomp away with gay abandon
The messier the better, for sure
Without the mess, you ain't no aficionado
Just someone trying to act mature
Acting prim and proper when eating a taco
Has never been part of the scene
So dig right in, the messier the better
Be a proud taco eating machine
Categories:
bellybutton, addiction,
Form:
Rhyme
Hair blowing over my face
your breath dancing across the strands
with peppermint scented kisses.
Soft flutter...
just above my bellybutton
I take your hand
and place it over the spot.
Amazement fills your hazel eyes
as you feel your child move
for the very first time.
Categories:
bellybutton, family
Form:
If i could have your arms as a pillow, i would bring it everywhere, even on the bus. I would
wrap it around me if i was cold. I would put half of it on my shoulders if i was at the cinema.
I would put them behind me if i was looking at the sea, and make it squeeze around my
stomach until i felt you in my bellybutton.
I want to sit under a blossom tree with the sun coming through in little streams.
Only with you.
I want to be a fish gliding through your veins, come out of your mouth and kiss every
millimetre of your lips.
I want to watch every breathtaking sunrise come up from behid your face. See your eyes
glisen, with morning moisture and yellow light.
I want to sit infront of the painting 'scream' for five hundred hours, so when i look at you
you would be even more beautiful.
I would make your hair a hat and in the morning i would run it through my fingers, i would
drag it up my stomach and around my chest and have it entwine with mine, resting near my
nose and stay like that until your smell was gone.
I want you to always be happy. Your heart shimmers in your eyes. When it is not there,
neither am i.
Categories:
bellybutton, confusion, dedication, loveme, morning,
Form: