Best Banking Poems
I was just drifting off,
A quiet snooze on the bench
Under the tree,
When I heard:
"I hereby declare this meeting open!
The frosts have given way,
The hush of winter loosens,
Spring has stepped up for Lady Day."
A busy chatter of squirrels start to gather
For the branch meeting.
Trees unfurling into bud
Yield a promise of nest eggs
Soon to pay dividends
For the nimble and resourceful
Tenants of the Woodland Guild.
There's a quiver of quills of feathery tails
As the squirrels brush up on stocks and shares -
Who's invested the what-s and the where-s?
Secret maps drawn in ledgers of lichens.
Arboreal advice given,
"We must maintain balance,
Reduce risk, but stay agile."
The squirrels of this midland bank listen,
They bustle and bristle.
Ears pricked, steady their nerve
Ready to go,
"Remember, time is your friend,
Impulse, your foe!"
Each squirrel a proud custodian
Of assets, ground hidden,
Hedgefunds.
A treasury of nuts and seed
Saved through thrift
In times of need,
Dug deep in the vaults of the earth.
Beech, pine, hazel and oak.
"We sit in these trees of plenty
Because of what squirrel folk planted before."
Then, with a scamper and flicker of tails,
They were gone.
It makes
No cents
At all .
A flatulent codger named Frank
Passed wind as he queued in the bank
When he made his deposit
He shuffled like a hobbit
The stench as he left was so rank
4/19/18
When government spends more than it collects in taxes,
it borrows money from a central bank, and must pay it back with interest.
Government never has the money when the loan is due,
so the burden of this debt falls on the taxpayer, me and you.
When local banks need money, they also borrow from a central bank.
A $100.00 bond gets loaned out to its clients at 10 times the amount.
The central bank and local banks create money out of thin air.
There is nothing backing it, nothing substantial is there,
but when incompetent government defaults and local banks fail,
we the taxpayers must bail them all out, or face some time in jail.
The federal withholding from every blue collar worker's paycheck,
is not taxes, it is our weekly loan payment for this perpetual debt,
a debt we did not create nor do we deserve,
yet we keep feeding those parasites at The Federal Reserve,
a privately owned bank, governed by a handful of businessmen,
who have a stronghold on not just my country, but many worldwide nations.
These men hire untold numbers of lobbyists to put pressure on Washington,
to establish laws to protect their corrupt monetary system.
There are more laws on the books protecting their banks and corporations,
than there are laws protecting the human rights of our citizens.
Banking is in the business of manufacturing risk.
I say the risk is too great to allow banks and banking to continue to exist.
It is time for a new global emergent society,
governed by a Resource Based Economy.
I read it in the press today
The guys in Britain must have all turned gay
The local sperm bank is in need of ‘funds’
Only nine donors, guess other men have shunned
I thought the men would be dashing to deposit
Looks like they are all hiding in the closet!
Poem penned after reading this article
http://www.theguardian.com/science/2015/aug/31/britains-national-sperm-bank-wants-men-to-prove-their-manhood
01~09~15
I went to the bank for some cash
But tellers were having a gnash
The ATM died
The Manager cried
And said he'd be back in a flash
I went to my bank yesterday
As I went to work, it’s on my way
I said to the cashier Miss Valance
“Hello can you check my balance”
She replied “yes certainly Mr. Dover”
Then walked round and pushed me over
Why Country suffers underdevelopment?
Why her public suffer unemployment?
Bad banking is the main reason
So milk comes not, but poison
Some bank men daily toil
They only preserve the soil
Many relax without any work
But, they get the best perk
Influential bank men develop
Playing politics to come up
They try and very finely spoil
By putting into water dirty oil
By giving a bad confidential report
They cunningly cut possible support
If a subordinate is very well-dressed
Surely he becomes by them cursed
If they see a robust young man
Against him they make a plan
More and more work they dump
Giving pressure to heart-pump
Do or die policy, they wrongly follow
A hard-working heart, they will blow
Country is not at all very strong
As Country's Banking is wrong.
mvvenkataraman
SEARCH mvvenkataraman IN GOOGLE OR YAHOO
Leaving banking, I am thinking about banking. When the red humour from the human system drains off, we irrigate the haematic fluid inside through vein-channels. ‘Blood Banks’ with sanguine loans come to our rescue. In cases of renal malfunction, we ransack kidney colonies for mercenary donors. Or don’t we eye greedily at the safest vaults for the bean-shaped organ - at the healthy kidneys inside the frames of our beloved ones? For grafting damaged skin, happily we become clients of ‘Skin Banks’. Those banks supply us with new apparel – bio-RMG, culled from the *****sapiens. In needs cellular, ‘Tissue Banks’ help us consummate the transaction. Aren’t ‘Eye Banks’ the last resort of the visually deprived or underprivileged ones? To cater to cerebral needs, there are ‘Brain Banks’. ‘DNA Data Banks’ through gene cartography help us circumnavigate the vast continents of bioinformatics. Oh that we only had a ‘Philanthropy Bank’ to supply us with liquefied humanity for intra-venous infusion into the sadistic, misanthropic minds!
The banking rate
is like a young lady
one day low and promising
next day
the value rises with several per cent
and a question
at the dance floor
by the river will be
can I get a loan?
I see your site say -
Error: call 1-800 to pay.
There goes my day.
Why do you ask me
To give endless ID
To part with my money?
Profit is your mantra;
So what if Santa
Wants to pay for my Fanta?
Forget Patriot Act bullarama
My $10 drama
Is beneath Osama.
The “main menu” loop
Dishes “valued customer” poop
Till my brain flies the coop.
It will be worth the court fee
To have the bankruptcy trustee
Take over from me.
And that’s when you
Will put a live person through
My ass to chew.
If you are in the support bubble
You can go out not being considered trouble
Whining and dining
No worries for fining
But what happens if your relationship is declining
Could you end up behind bars due to not having the right timing?
Getting rejected holding a bottle of wine
And stuttering an embarressing first line
It is the holiday when we celebrate the banker
But what about the lonely wanker
Desperately needing an honest shot to thank her
Surely this is not the right way
Instead we are supposed to say
Welcome here, enjoy the stay
A viral infection has us under control
Our health threatened by a nasty cold
Social lives are under fire
Partying being investigated and inquired
Do not answer the RSVP bathroom flyer
It could be a trap
Sending you to a 14 day quarantine nap
In greedy tradition
Fulfill this bah humbug mission
Sitting all alone
Bitterness tone
Count the money
Saved since there is no one in life who you call honey
Arriving soon those Dickens’ ghosts
Corona they drank during last St Paddy’s toast
Telling you stay home you are not going to roast
In evil’s oven
Enjoying friendly loving
Hopefully, when the disease run its course
Vaccinating the source
We may come together
Enjoy the festive weather
When greeting the season
Peacefully reminding us there is a reason
For vanity
And humanity
Flirting underneath mistletoe candy
Good reddens to all
Enjoying community communication fall
Putting up this ugly wall
Stronger will abide by the Bobbies law
Peacefully dealing with this powerful destructive call
Eventually leading to a civil war
Terrible tension rooted in its core
Talk first
Let the social bubble burst
Introduce oneself to a stranger
Then maybe plenty rooms will be available at the warm manger
BANKING 101…..(US) put money in…..take money out
BANKING 102…. (US) don’t put money in….take money out….repay the loan
BANKING 103…. (THEM) don’t put money in….take money out…DON’T repay the loan
BANKING 103.5 (Congressional version) Don’t put any in….take it all out…print some more
BANKING 104 BANKERS ONLY…PAY YOURSELF AND STAFF A HUGE SEVERANCE BONUS
BANKING 104.1 deposit said bonus in a Cayman Island bank
BANKING 104.2 “UNEXPECTEDLY” CLOSE THE BANK
BANKING 104.3 …. BAIL OUT THROUGH THE BACK DOOR WITH NO EXPLANATION
BANKING 104,5 (PERSIDENTIAL VERSION) BAIL OUT THE GUYS WHO BAILED OUT
John G. Lawless
©3/17/2023
The queue has moved
Am at the counter now,
I hand over my stash of cash.
“good morning” she says,
I had lost the greeting culture.
Such warmth.
Sifting through the notes
With her silken smooth fingers,
Sorting, straightening bent ears,
Stashing in safe drawer,
I wish she would
Sort out my heart
And keep it safe in a closet.
Only she would access!
I
In a "decent" town, Ft. Beaufort, within 90km
I arrived about Seven in the morning
For much-needed cash from a Bank ATM
Who knew, the ATM took my card & "jammed"
II
Long story short, I met on roadside crosses
As arranged before Nine, the same morning
The back was closed before then, only ATM
No one to report a "robbery by ATM" to,
So return later I did, joined 50-person line.
III
Query about cards chewed by ATM got no joy
A consultant I asked, gave me, "I don't know."
I rejoined the line, penultimate person in queue
I asked a cleaner, Viola, she took me to Unathi
All I did was sign a ledger, no ID asked, First in RSA
NOTE: IT is favor of God. I kept the prayer appointment, went back to town, got my Bank card, happily giving up my seat to an older gent.