Best Banking Poems

It  makes

No cents

At  all ....

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A flatulent codger named Frank
Passed wind as he queued in the bank
When he made his deposit
He shuffled like a hobbit 
The stench as he left was so rank

4/19/18...

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I read it in the press today
The guys in Britain must have all turned gay

The local sperm bank is in need of ‘funds’
Only nine donors, guess other men have shunned

I thought the men would be dashing to deposit
Looks like they are all hiding in the closet!


Poem penned after reading this article
http://www.theguardian.com/science/2015/aug/31/britains-national-sperm-bank-wants-men-to-prove-their-manhood
01~09~15...

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When government spends more than it collects in taxes,
it borrows money from a central bank, and must pay it back with interest.
Government never has the money when the loan is due,
so the burden of this debt falls on the taxpayer, me and you.
When local banks need money, they also borrow from a central bank.
A $100.00...

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I went to the bank for some cash
But tellers were having a gnash
The ATM died
The Manager cried
And said he'd be back in a flash...

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I went to my bank yesterday
As I went to work, it’s on my way
I said to the cashier Miss Valance
“Hello can you check my balance”
She replied “yes certainly Mr. Dover”
Then walked round and pushed me over...

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Why Country suffers underdevelopment?
Why her public suffer unemployment?

Bad banking is the main reason
So milk comes not, but poison

Some bank men daily toil
They only preserve the soil

Many relax without any work
But, they get the best perk

Influential bank men develop
Playing politics to come up

They try and very finely spoil
By putting into water dirty oil

By giving a bad...

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Leaving banking, I am thinking about banking. When the red humour from the human system drains off, we irrigate the haematic fluid inside through vein-channels. ‘Blood Banks’ with sanguine loans come to our rescue. In cases of renal malfunction, we ransack kidney colonies for mercenary donors. Or don’t we eye greedily at the safest vaults...

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The banking rate 
is like a young lady
one day low and promising
next day
the value rises with several per cent
and a question 
at the dance floor 
by the river will be  
can I get a loan?...

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If you are in the support bubble 
You can go out not being considered trouble 
Whining and dining 
No worries for fining 
But what happens if your relationship is declining 
Could you end up behind bars due to not having the right timing? 
Getting rejected holding a bottle of wine 
And stuttering an embarressing first...

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I see your site say -
Error: call 1-800 to pay.
There goes my day.

Why do you ask me 
To give endless ID 
To part with my money?

Profit is your mantra;
So what if Santa
Wants to pay for my Fanta?

Forget Patriot Act bullarama
My $10 drama 
Is beneath Osama.

The “main menu”  loop
Dishes “valued customer” poop
Till my brain flies...

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BANKING 101…..(US) put money in…..take money out

BANKING 102…. (US) don’t put money in….take money out….repay the loan

BANKING 103…. (THEM) don’t put money in….take money out…DON’T repay the                  loan

BANKING 103.5 (Congressional version)  Don’t put any in….take it all...

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The queue has moved
Am at the counter now,
I hand over my stash of cash.
“good morning” she says,
I had lost the greeting culture.
Such warmth.

Sifting through the notes
With her silken smooth fingers,
Sorting, straightening bent ears,
Stashing in safe drawer,
I wish she would
Sort out my heart
And keep it safe in a closet.
Only she would access!
...

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I
In a "decent" town, Ft. Beaufort, within 90km
I arrived about Seven in the morning
For much-needed cash from a Bank ATM
Who knew, the ATM took my card & "jammed"

II
Long story short, I met on roadside crosses
As arranged before Nine, the same morning
The back was closed before then, only ATM
No one to report a "robbery by ATM"...

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There's a big difference
Between love and hate
While one gives away
The other one saves
Using their hearts
Like most do a bank
In the deposit 
Of love and hate

Love in its interest
Runs rather high
With not many willing
To pay the price 
Though when banking on hate
Most people find 
Borrowing from love
Would have been wise

Because there's a big difference 
Between love...

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