Best Auntie Poems
If I was Auntie Mame, I would be excited about everything.
Kicking up fun wherever I am invited.
Even places I’m not, but everywhere being the zing.
Bringing people together, making them united.
I would be like giant puppies, leaping into lap places,
Sure I am welcome, not aware if I am not.
Knowing they are thrilled I am licking their faces.
I would throw up my hands, and dance around the lot.
I would be insanely, gloriously, uncommonly happy.
Unaware of disapproval or disdain in any way.
Oblivious to others’ discomfort, I would be loud and snappy.
Thinking their laughter is for me, I would continue to play!
Because I am the party, I do not want anyone to sleep.
Let the party begin! Bring out the chips and bar stools.
Take a chance, open that door, come out, and take the leap!
It is me, and if you have read the script, Auntie Mame rules!
Auntie
In her lofty ways, she was always
the best example of
the stars out-shining the moon.
Her ways of doing things always
correct and proper
she was a student of the Queen.
Place setting and
the china on the table all had to
be per the law.
And no PHD could outwit her with
her twelfth-grade education.
She though dignified and learned
always quoted un-biblical quotes
from other bibles.
"Cleanliness is next to Godliness ".
I would say well didn't
God make dirt too!?
Don't be asinine she would say-
Seemed as if the emphasis
would be on the "ass"
I would laugh... and when
she thought
I was not looking
she would laugh too.
Auntie could hardly
pass up a good humorous
exchange no matter how
ostentatious or outrageous.
Her well-groomed and well
manicured demeanor
was not just for Sundays.
She served her God faithfully
in words and in deeds every day.
I have never known her
to beg or borrow.
Never seen her complain as
"Arthur" took his toll on her knees.
She was faithful to the end
and though she had no
children of her own,
she was nurturer of all us
children whom were
blessed enough to be
corrected by her or to
eat a slice of her lemon
meringue pie.
Anytime I think of her
I remember the sweetest
music coming from
the piano that displayed
her mood with music-
Her piano voiced her
thoughts in pitch and
range; as she became
one with the keys and chords.
There was no room for "I can't"--
and no excuse not trying.
She finally gave up on me
playing the piano -
That ruler had taken
its toll on my knuckles
and even if you failed at any
attempt to do things as right
as she wanted:
After a hardy reprimanding
Auntie was sure to have my favorite
food and clean bed waiting for me.
I loved her so much that
every now and then
I must write about this amazing
Sister to my mother.
Her name...
Rosella Faye Graham Derrickson Myers ...
And yes, she would say her whole ''title"
if you were to ask her, her name.
Her spirit lives on...
In all the lives that she has touched.
Auntie May came to visit,
and sat in daddy's favorite chair.
I looked behind her head,
but all I saw was hair.
I snuck into her room.
Her suitcase was on the floor.
I took a peek inside, then
Auntie May walked in the door.
"Why are you in my room?"
She loudly yelled at me.
And I answered her as truthfully
as a seven-year-old can be.
"Well, I over heard my daddy say
you're two-faced, and I was curious to see,
what your other face looked like.
Auntie, will you show it to me?"
_______________________________
For Colloquialisms contest
Sponsor: Laura Leiser
New Poem: 7/19/15
The term two faced refers to the
Roman god Janus who had two
faces, one at the front of his head
and another at the back.
My Auntie Mary Rose
Years ago in my youthful years; my mother told me she named me after
My Auntie Mary-Rose. Oh how I loved her so dearly.
But throughout my young life I was consistently teased from kids my own age.
And even from some of my own close kin. After I turned twenty-one I soon
legally changed my name to Theresa Marie Christine. At the time I thought that no
one would ever make fun of me again. But alas, all of some many uneducated cruel
people never learn. While I was bartending, they’d call “hey TC bring me some of your
empty tea so we can see the inside of your shirt. Guess I should not have let anyone get
the better of me. I never knew that I was feeling so insecure. If it were not for one very
close sister of mine: don’t think I would have even made it to the age of 35. Now I’m
longing for my old name back.
For I really did love my Auntie Mary-Rose. My beloved Auntie Mary-Rose I apologize
for changing my name to Theresa Marie Christine.
Written: 6/20/15
Theresa Marie
Yesterday,as the sun shone down
strolled to my aunties,she out of her gown
having a better day,health not too clever
but was so good see you and chat,however
Not speaking for coming upto nearly three year
family issues the problem,now i don`t care
`cos the effective calmness, and all the love
you loved the chain from our Shirl who`s above
Looking back now,i think to myself why
it took so long to solve,`cos money can`t buy
back all the time that has so past
but will make it all up,and make it last
Well Dot i shall wind up your rhyme
i know i will see again very soon sometime
because on leaving your house,i can confess
was a church like feeling,that i`d been blessed.
LOVE YOU.
My Auntie
When I was hopeless you were there
you picked me up, you showed me care.
Without the love you had for me
God only knows where I would be.
To me you were a second mom
a person I drew wisdom from.
In my corner every fight
you always cared that things were right.
I won't forget the things you've done
I felt like the adopted one
Ready now and feeling new
I couldn't leave not thanking you.
Who knows what happened to Auntie Ann?
We've tried to find out, as best we can—
scoured the papers, followed the news,
and still we don't know how we could lose
our cherished Auntie Ann.
There's always been vile rumor, of course,
(remember to consider the source!)
that Annie just gave in to the drink.
But if she did, you wouldn't think
that she'd completely disappear.
Someone has to buy the beer
for drunken Auntie Ann!
Then there are those who said she went
to join the circus under the tent—
that she became an acrobat,
did triple flips, imagine that!
But she was lonely— can you blame her?—
she fell in love with the lion tamer
who married Auntie Ann.
Now Auntie Ann was so very sweet,
it's not unthinkable that she'd meet
a ne'er-do-well who'd promise her
a profit if she'd just transfer
her money into his account.
Could she have lost a vast amount?—
gullible Auntie Ann.
One of the silliest thoughts I've heard
is that Auntie left without a word
and moved to Africa to stay
where she resides this very day,
traipsing about in safari clothes.
(just why she'd do that, nobody knows)—
eccentric Auntie Ann.
I always rather thought it weird
that Annie wished she had a beard.
My theory is, she found a doc
(prepare yourself, it's quite a shock)
who, with his scalpel, was quite handy
and turned our Auntie, sweet as candy,
....... into Uncle Andy!
Yesterday I received Auntie Mabel’s annual spring note
She wants to know how, in 2024, I will cast my vote
She's concerned that the U.S. will elect another old goat.
She has finally had her troublesome tooth pulled, I note,
Her latest ailment seems to be she has developed a bloat.
No news about her nephew who was in jail last she wrote
Her gay nephew, on her husband’s side, continues to gloat,
I have told her many times about him, do not rock his boat
Well, uh, …she must do what she can to keep him afloat.
She asked if I wore the sweater; mentioned do I need a coat
You’ll recall Auntie Mabel lives in England, somewhat remote.
In a week or so, I’ll respond to Auntie Mabel’s annual missal
It is important that I let her know I have received her epistle.
Failure to respond in a timely manner causes her to bristle--
Just a short note with a tad bit of gossip will be permissible.
As you surely know, I would do nothing to earn her dismissal!
I need to share I sliced open my finger on a prickly thistle
And, I've bought myself a brand-new sweeper -- a Bissell.
Written April 10, 2022
[fourth Auntie Mabel poem. Check out
previous letters for references.]
Auntie Millie
Here lies our dear, sweet Auntie Millie
Well-known to do things willy-nilly
Prepared a noon meal she thought dilly
And choked on red-hot-pepper chili
Sandra M. Haight
~7th Place~
Premiere Contest: A Funny Epitaph
Sponsor: Jesse Rowe
Judged: 09/18/2018
Rhythm: - / - - / - - / -
Gilly darling dont do that
You don't know where it's been
And put our hat on there's a love
I'm fetching some ice-cream
Do you want a cornet child?
Or will you take a lolly?
Oh Gilly darling don't do that
I'll have to tell your Mummy
Now sit here on the beach towel
And do try to be good
I know you're keen on swimming
And I'd let you if I could
But Auntie Pam's a land lubber
The waters not for me
Oh Gillian for heavens sake
Just let your pig tails be
Now what is it to be my girl?
A cornet or a lolly?
A choc-ice? I suppose so
But if it melts we'll all be sorry
Chocolate on your pretty dress
A most unbecoming site
Oh Gilly child dont blubber
I shall get you one ,alright?
Oh look the van is going
Oh botheration damn
We'll have to have a sandwich
There is cheese or strawberry jam
There we are a jam one
Now do be careful please
Dont like it? Why, its lovely?
Oh ok then have a cheese
Finished it all up I see
There's a clever girl
Now have a bit of lemon cake
Or there's a Vienesse Whirl?
No I don't have jaffa cakes
No there are no crisps
Now Gilly just behave yourself
And still those quivered lips
I'm going to have a read now
Just play nice on the sand
And don't go by the water
Hold onto to dollys hand
Pam looks up from her book
No Gilly is in sight
Oh blast the child she murmurs
Then, Im sure she'll be alright
Gillian she hollers
What? Comes the reply
O there you are behind me
And the child begins to cry
To my Auntie Jenny,
Whom I loved so much,
You are now with the Lord and free of pain,
You and Walter are back together,
I will miss you loads,
I remember your fun times,
You had a heart of gold,
Kind, fun, generous and warm.
May you now Rest in peace.
Love from your niece Susie <
Ps, Please will you give Richard a hug and kiss from me.
Yesterday, I received Auntie Mabel’s end-of-the-year letter
Seems, after another bout with arthritis, she is some better,
She reports that Aunt Lula Fay’s nephew is no longer in fetter
But, unfortunately, he’s only out on bail, she being his “setter.”
Sid, Auntie Mable tells me, will never be much of a go-getter,
Reminds me for Christmas she sent me a warm woolen sweater.
As soon as I receive the sweater, I’ll send a note of gratitude
Failing to mention the gift, Auntie Mabel would cop an attitude,
When one lapses in manners, Mabel doesn’t give much latitude
Considering such a failure both thankless and unseemly crude,
Since she’s a family connection, I’d hate if she became unglued,
I don’t want to get a reputation for being an ungrateful dude!
written December 26, 2021
This actually had happened many, many years ago to my eldest sister.
Oh my, what children should not hear, for they instantly repeat what some
adults say.
Auntie Said
My grand-daughter called her grandpa chrome-dome
now Sue don't call him names just leave alone
Grannie, I just heard what Auntie said
now I have to put Auntie to bed
Grannie, Auntie's singing grandpa's chrome-dome
Grannie, Auntie's singing grandpa's chrome-dome.
03/27/2018
Evie
Her Christian name is Constance, but I call her Auntie Confidence.
She spurts self-assurance as easily as a strawberry popsicle in July.
She oozes confidence. Some of us stand close, hoping it will drip on us.
If you say, “women can’t,” she will show you that this woman can.
Dare I brag, she was the first female engineer in the aerospace program?
Our family falls under Auntie Confidence’s spell when she stops by.
She is like a meteorite - teaching us to be real, to be confident
To be ourselves and let no one stop us. I am blessed to know her.
The great spirits began to dance their thanksgiving song
Grandmother Forest watched with pride and thoughtfulness
Auntie Running Bear had formed Brother Fire, and was seeking
Truth from her nephews’ spirit animals.
Wise Owl was there, summoning his power animal.
Hooting in the trees verified he had reached his inner truths.
Sly Fox was trying his best to concentrate, but he was distracted.
Irritated that Wise Owl’s spirit guide was verifying his presence.
This is not a competition, Auntie Running Bear cautioned her charges.
Communing with your spirit guides is something we do individually.
They come in their own time; know they are here, to be summoned.
Creeping turtle felt her spirit animal’s presence, for she was clairsentient.
What if we feel she is here, but we cannot see her?
You have reached a Nirvana that the medicine woman cannot dispute.
Grandmother Forest watched and listened in fascination.
Thrilled she knew how to hoot like an owl. What sound does a turtle make?