Best Antics Poems

I just found out two poodles that I bought
were ferrets!  Ay caramba! And guess what?

To make each one resemble less a rat,
they gave them steroids, making them both fat!

They also fluffed their pretty fur just so
around their heads. So how was I to know?

Each...

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A tall giraffe at our local zoo 
Got neck ache, (as giraffes often do) 
With his neck being so long 
The pain was terribly strong 
That he couldn’t reach the leaves to chew

The giraffe doctor was quickly called
At the condition he was appalled
He told the...

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My car was parked beneath a tree,
More gingkoish than oaken;
I never noticed birds a’perched,
Yet each one left a token.

The windshield was opaquely masked;
The roof and sides were splattered.
They missed the turned-in mirror,
Though that hardly even mattered.

You really had to give them props;
They surely were effective
In...

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One ticket admission to my home  z o o!
SO many creatures, don’t know what to do-
a turtle and a bunny,
a stinky pug so funny,
a Golden Retriever who lost a  s c r e w!

The bunny likes smelling the dog’s behinds,
too bad he will...

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Antics  dealer

I dealt  in antiques as well as antics
Once chased a  sterling  ‘bronze’,  very  unique
It  stood  its ground and just blushed
Till, by and by, I felt  bushed
And chastised,  quit things risqué and of  risk.


03...

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My black cat stares out the front window
On the lookout for neighborhood foes 
Then one instance at night
When I had on the light
Her reflection fought back blow for blow

The desert is a sweet hunting ground
My cat, Ace, sneaks about without sound
But, more wily than she
A...

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Unquotable quotes: Olympic Antics – XXXIII

Why do Judo-kas bother to wear anything at all since all they do is to try their very best to undress one another before hugging themselves on the mat?
Wrestlers at least take up perverse **** positions right from the start.
Besides,...

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The Antics Of A Yoyo Thief

Potential life of as juvenile delinquent
(ala bam mean future streetwise thug)
stopped dead in the tracks – manacles
the above two lines hopefully gives hint
nearly changing changing life of one boy
an undersized puny kid 
whose aborted theft stint
constitutes the gist of following...

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He was poetically intolerant,
she thought herself an Emily
writing sonnets 'how do I love...'
he indulged her feeble whimsies
in light of other finessed talents, 
essentially, larks amidst boudoir's  
uncommonly emboldened expertise...

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Stretching and lowering their head submissively
Two tiger cubs in a fun frolic play and kittens yowl
Actively under trees, limbs, and leaf brushes passivity
Hugs, scratches, bites, and tiger growls 

Along comes a black heart face gibbon 
Swinging from branch to branch in high-speed
 No tail, arms...

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Antics Of A Buzzfeed Ding Housefly...

Non random, but (based on my very
     far out, flimsy laughably 
     amateurish thinking)
     faux feigned aye
firmly believe, that
     what appears bye and by
as...

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It had worked before
He led puppies galore
But Arnold knew his way
Could not be lead astray

Joe the dog convinced
Arnold the pig minced
Arnold decided to go 
But lost~no~ his good sense flowed

Joe came back home free
No Arnold we could see
Then fifteen minutes an oink
Arnold sought chow and...

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There I was an eight year old girl
On an adventurous whirl 
We had a thing for hanging
I ended up dangling
With a driver that wanted to hurl

these things happen when dramas befall 
I got stuck between the van and the wall
out cold I was lying
driver almost...

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With hair ablaze
a jester unconfined.
I scoffed at the mundane 
its life declined.
My wardrobe 
a riot
a rhapsody bold.
Mismatched socks my standard 
stories untold.

In classrooms of tedium 
rules I'd defy
Grasping forbidden knowledge 
'neath watchful sky.
Craving for wisdom in 
esoteric wells.
Chased squirrels with saws 
casting fanciful spells!

Detentions for...

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***My Day Yesterday***

Woke at 5 a.m., but oddly then forgot
To gaze alert to the sun’s rising.

Went for my bi-yearly do at the beauty
Salon where a young woman tired her arm

Waving a wand over me for nearly three
Hours.  I emerged mesmerized, merry,

But of course, not...

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