Best Antics Poems
With hair ablaze
a jester unconfined.
I scoffed at the mundane
its life declined.
My wardrobe
a riot
a rhapsody bold.
Mismatched socks my standard
stories untold.
In classrooms of tedium
rules I'd defy
Grasping forbidden knowledge
'neath watchful sky.
Craving for wisdom in
esoteric wells.
Chased squirrels with saws
casting fanciful spells!
Detentions for antics
the school's icy stare
Derided in classrooms
a spirit too rare.
Math teacher's scorn
a job painting lines foretold.
I retorted, "How much does it pay?"
- detention took hold.
Mom asked me why I never brought my girls home?
I chuckled and said, "They're not the type to be shown!"
The wild ones
the rebels
the ones full of flame.
Not the kind for a dinner
not the ones with a name.
Misfits my comrades
a menagerie strange.
United in chaos
defying the change.
Years danced in a blur a pantomime bright
But a disquieting word a sense of not quite right.
A whirlwind of antics a panoply grand
Impromptu escapes with career-shifting sands.
Near-death encounters with fauna
a squirrel, perhaps?
But the thrill
oh the thrill
fueled my madcap laps!
The thrill of the unexpected
a fading strain
A gnawing suspicion
a predictable bane.
The mask I had crafted
of rebellion's grand guise.
Cracked and revealed
the truth in my eyes.
The jester unmasked with a lesson I gained.
That the extraordinary in the ordinary
can be just plain.
No longer I chase the fantastical dream...
But accept the real where
beauty can stream.
For the truest defiance lies not in the fight.
But accepting oneself in the ordinary light.
So here I stand
flaws and all
unashamed.
The laughter remains though the fantasy's tamed.
With lessons in tow I'll mend and I'll mend.
Explore the mundane and find joy till the end.
For the greatest adventure
in life's simple quest...
Is finding the magic
within one's own breast.
Categories:
antics, angst, character, conflict, humor,
Form:
Rhyme
I just found out two poodles that I bought
were ferrets! Ay caramba! And guess what?
To make each one resemble less a rat,
they gave them steroids, making them both fat!
They also fluffed their pretty fur just so
around their heads. So how was I to know?
Each one looked so much like a toy poodle
they had me fooled - whole kit and caboodle!
Our veterinarian has verified
the facts for me. Those poodle dealers lied.
And folks now say I should have realized
the truth, which stared at me with beady eyes!
Those ferrets sure run fast; I think I’ll buy
two tiny leashes, or else I could try. . .
to sucker someone stupider than me.
Hey, buy one poodle; get the other free!
For Janice Canerdy's Rhyming Couplets Poetry Contest
* I wrote this April 22, 2013 after hearing a news story about a guy who actually believed he had bought a poodle when it was a ferret on steroids! See above for the link to the news footage!
Categories:
antics, humor, pets,
Form:
Couplet
A tall giraffe at our local zoo
Got neck ache, (as giraffes often do)
With his neck being so long
The pain was terribly strong
That he couldn’t reach the leaves to chew
The giraffe doctor was quickly called
At the condition he was appalled
He told the staff not to laugh -
Just get giraffe in the bath
So to the bath the giraffe was hauled
Well you can just imagine the sight
The poor staff the giraffe tried to bite!
They got him in the tub
Gave his neck a good rub
Then they tucked him in bed for the night
They were told they must keep his neck warm …
To this order the staff must conform
Staff decided to knit
A long scarf that would fit
It’s now part of giraffe’s uniform!
Animal Antics Contest
Sponsored by Shadow Hamilton
09~05~16
N B The title will be amended after the contest to - 'You're having a Giraffe'
which in rhyming slang means you are having a laugh.
Categories:
antics, animal, fantasy, fun, humorous,
Form:
Limerick
My car was parked beneath a tree,
More gingkoish than oaken;
I never noticed birds a’perched,
Yet each one left a token.
The windshield was opaquely masked;
The roof and sides were splattered.
They missed the turned-in mirror,
Though that hardly even mattered.
You really had to give them props;
They surely were effective
In doing such a thorough job –
I held off my invective.
We call somebody bird-brain
When we denigrate their smarts,
But mischief made of droppings
Proves their humor’s off the charts!
Categories:
antics, animal, urban,
Form:
Rhyme
One ticket admission to my home z o o!
SO many creatures, don’t know what to do-
a turtle and a bunny,
a stinky pug so funny,
a Golden Retriever who lost a s c r e w!
The bunny likes smelling the dog’s behinds,
too bad he will NEVER know what he’ll find!
a grossly dingle-berry,
something hairy and scary,
“GO find a carrot you’re way out of line!”
The pug snuffles and snorts through out the night,
then I’m yawning while I’m struggling to write-
the turtle has a long neck,
I’m always like, “WHAT THE HECK?”
then he basks while choking on a termite!
You may think my family is distressed,
and maybe we NEVER get any rest-
a million bucks I won’t take,
we have a bond that WON'T break,
we do love our z o o that’s quite picturesque!
Syllable Count: 10-10-7-7-10
Animal Antics Contest
Sponsor: Shadow Hamilton
Dedicated to my beautiful zoo:
Bo-my sweet Golden Retriever age 11 (dying of cancer :(....)
Mugsy-my stinky Pug age 12
Lucky-my white fluffy bunny age 3
Pebbles-my long-necked turtle age 2
Date Written: August 18, 2016
Categories:
antics, animal, pets, silly,
Form:
Limerick
Antics dealer
I dealt in antiques as well as antics
Once chased a sterling ‘bronze’, very unique
It stood its ground and just blushed
Till, by and by, I felt bushed
And chastised, quit things risqué and of risk.
03 jun 12
Categories:
antics, life, love,
Form:
Limerick
My black cat stares out the front window
On the lookout for neighborhood foes
Then one instance at night
When I had on the light
Her reflection fought back blow for blow
The desert is a sweet hunting ground
My cat, Ace, sneaks about without sound
But, more wily than she
A coyote, hungry
Up a Mulberry, Ace had to bound
I recall my cat’s first Christmas tree
A huge playground was all this could be
Up the tree in a flash
To the floor they did crash
Think she saw eight of her nine lives flee
September 5, 2016
Categories:
antics, animal, cat, funny,
Form:
Limerick
He was poetically intolerant,
she thought herself an Emily
writing sonnets 'how do I love...'
he indulged her feeble whimsies
in light of other finessed talents,
essentially, larks amidst boudoir's
uncommonly emboldened expertise
Categories:
antics, allegory, hyperbole, poetess, poetry,
Form:
Imagism
***My Day Yesterday***
Woke at 5 a.m., but oddly then forgot
To gaze alert to the sun’s rising.
Went for my bi-yearly do at the beauty
Salon where a young woman tired her arm
Waving a wand over me for nearly three
Hours. I emerged mesmerized, merry,
But of course, not like I once was,
For the once-and-future dreams don’t
Endure, tho do abide other ambits.
I opined on my decline as I pet the pups, passing hours
Choosing fabrics while I listened to TV
News to be sure Europe was still there;
Had sweet potatoes and salmon for
Supper, which I think I thought was luncheon;
Handled emails with friends; heard
Two-dozen scam phone calls ring on unanswered;
Looked out my window, so sad as I’d missed
The fall of dusk; sighed; reached for
A pastel at midnight — too late to begin
— I sent hushed regrets to my canvas;
Pulled over my blanket with a prayer
Unable to recall closing my eyes.
——————————————————————————————
(c) sally youngeslinger 2/11/22
Thanks be to God…
Categories:
antics, age, beauty, day, dog,
Form:
Alliteration
Stretching and lowering their head submissively
Two tiger cubs in a fun frolic play and kittens yowl
Actively under trees, limbs, and leaf brushes passivity
Hugs, scratches, bites, and tiger growls
Along comes a black heart face gibbon
Swinging from branch to branch in high-speed
No tail, arms as long as his body like ribbons
Teasing he joins in “You can’t catch me! Yes indeed!”
Swinging from branch to branch in high- speed
Reaching for the cubs as fast as he could
He pulls their ears and pulls their tail to take heed
Can't seem to get enough of play since he began
The cubs jump and stretch and extended their claws
With all their efforts falling back to the ground with no avail
They suck and draw breath playing hide-seek to get their jaws
on the gibbon. From behind, the gibbon stood on the ground and pulled their tails
They turned and chased as fast as they could and failed
Worn out conveying a lack of interest they walked away
Swinging from branch to branch in high-speed he stopped and inhaled
“Where are you going?he wailed.I’m not done playing? Come back to play another day. “
9/9/2016
Animal Antics - Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Shadow Hamilton
Categories:
antics, animal, cat, fun, nature,
Form:
Free verse
There I was an eight year old girl
On an adventurous whirl
We had a thing for hanging
I ended up dangling
With a driver that wanted to hurl
these things happen when dramas befall
I got stuck between the van and the wall
out cold I was lying
driver almost crying
vans were forbidden, for fear of a sprawl
*Naughty me, ended up unconscious
from hanging onto the back of our neighbors’ van,
poor man needed shock treatment, luckily
I lived to tell the tale lol *
Categories:
antics, childhood, funny
Form:
Limerick
It had worked before
He led puppies galore
But Arnold knew his way
Could not be lead astray
Joe the dog convinced
Arnold the pig minced
Arnold decided to go
But lost~no~ his good sense flowed
Joe came back home free
No Arnold we could see
Then fifteen minutes an oink
Arnold sought chow and plonk
We had a dog once who led off
two puppies at different times
and we never saw them again.
Then we got a white landracer
pig..The dog tried to lead him
off but the pig came back
every time..
Written: Saturday, September 17, 2016
Categories:
antics, dog, pets,
Form:
Rhyme
My feline’s eyes reflect her ginger hues.
She follows my man everywhere she can.
Her tracking sight chases away the blues.
But when squirrels discovered her, they ran.
She travels with us, a definite plus.
She likes to go fast, so step on the gas.
She ignores all limits. Yes, cats can cuss!
She likes to fish, quietly, wait for bass.
A middle-aged cat can still be a brat.
She gnaws on my cord like something abhorred.
But a yell from the man cancels all that.
With an innocent look, she drops the cord.
A cat in the house trumps any old mouse.
All her checks done, she’s asleep on my blouse.
Categories:
antics, animal, cat, character, pets,
Form:
Sonnet
Charlie the chimp lay in the grass and felt a bit displeased
while the rest of his group screeched and climbed and played,
swinging about and chasing one another in the trees
sniffing the bottoms of the friends they'd made.
But Charlie, being brighter. made an outcast of himself
sadly he had done this by his own choice,
his friends who'd had enough, had now all left him on the shelf,
and all this because of his different voice.
He'd made a big mistake when visitors each day all came,
of learning all the things families said,
and now instead of him just screaming out 'Ah! Ah! Ah!Ah!,
and 'Ooh! Ooh!' he'd say 'good morning' instead.
By the end of summer season his human vocabulary
was heading for at least three thousand words,
sat every night alone atop his favourite Baobab tree.
these phrases practised where nobody heard.
The wind was gusting really strong on one particular night
and into his enclosure something blew,
turned out to be the main pages of the Washington Post
and also inside it, the showbiz review.
His reading skills he'd absorbed were now getting pretty good,
he'd read all of the stuff he thought worth knowing,
The Senate said Obamacare's not working like it should,
and the Amazon rainforest's slowly going.
In a photo of a Primate called Bieber he wondered why
his top half oddly has no body hair,
but maybe that explains why there's no females standing by
to pick off any fleas they might find there.
Alpha male tore Charlie's paper, coz he wouldn't give a hug
and so Charlie went and told him to 'get bent',
then he sat up in the treetops with a grin and feeling smug,
since he knew none of them knew just what that meant.
6th September 2016,
for contest 'Animal antics', sponsor Shadow Hamilton
Categories:
antics, animal, humor, nature,
Form:
Rhyme
When in Paris do as Romans do where pardon me I lost my Latin there
What is love truly like not to quench the stereo type
in clicks and cliche's let us count the ways from one liner's to hopefully the refiner
My face my mother has good taste grace please do not waste
Faint hearted love does not hurt only a shallow flirt
Fair love not everything goes in rules of the court
Next to you sugar taste like salt I wronged you it's my fault
In small houses best not to hurt the one
but forgive least that be turned to stone
Love thy neighbor a gift from above do not throw stones or live in
glass houses when push comes to shove
A many splendored thing not a splintered thing with kid's glove
One size fits all comfortably when God is your Love
For the Love of God is the truth better than the kisses of an enemy a rebuke
To love immeasurably the only measure to set us free is His pleasure
Love has everything to do with Love and contrary
to the other opposites do not attract well rarely
So when your bow you are a singing love is not blind just forgiving
So quit playing cards save your money and love your wife
looking for one choose words carefully ask a right
one will return as with promises, doves and ravens
one is wise but the other a safe haven
If you will and if it pleases how do I spell love JE SUS
Categories:
antics, faith, funny, love, on
Form:
Free verse