Best Anatomically Poems
Due to growing Nimbus clouds of oppression
an area of low pressure has been building
Rest assured, it won't lead to bouts of depression
but rumblings of thunder have now been heard,
foreshadowing the bombs of fury soon to come.
Be advised: the ripping winds will not be deterred.
To counteract and neutralise any negative vibes
this Poetry Souper has been on a strict vegetarian diet
of lentils, cabbage soup, curry and beans; re-fried
They have been consumed in copious quantities.
Take shelter from wind gusts. There may be a riot!
Steps are being taken because many have died
from the expulsions of a toxic build up of gas.
It's predicted to be tornado level turbulence
emanating from winds blown out of my a s s
Anatomically referred to as expelled flatulence.
Blowouts should be considered as lethal blasts,
and not to be taken lightly, ignored, or scorned.
This is a public service alert of severe wind forecast.
The approaching storm is of gigantic proportions.
Gas masks are advised. You have been warned!
Warning Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Richard Lamoureux
Submitted to Weather Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Angela Tune
2/28/20
Categories:
anatomically, humorous, wind,
Form:
Rhyme
Snowman stands in all his splendor
Perfectly made of three snow globes
Proud of his coal eyes and carrot nose
Large colored marbles for mouth and smile
Hardy twigs at his side for arms
Glancing down he’s quite content
He was made anatomically correct
Classically covered by a large fig leaf
Categories:
anatomically, fantasy, funny, snow, winter,
Form:
Free verse
I've bought a brand new mabel fern,
expansive, I can tell you,
when I've learned just how it words
I'll have a go and bell you.
It's got five ponds of crudity
which should last me a moth
but just for now I'm sending taxis
and this is the firk one off.
I've learned to use the camilla,
and music files called empty trees
which quite impressed my goon ladle
who wished she had one of these.
The only treble that I'm having
is the massages I type out
keep changing anatomically, don't know what that's about.
I may just take it back and give the ship assassin what for,
and get my monkey refunded and find another store.
Hope you and the wolf are in good hearth.
Categories:
anatomically, humorous,
Form:
Watching Homer struggle
to explain how a god wounded by a mortal
cannot die but may thereafter live with minor pain
and the humor when that god
complains to Jove that His supervision of His daughter
is inadequate and His Love too unconditional
while Diomed (or Tydides)
wreaks havoc on the Trojans and Hector
gives it back (in kind)
anatomically correct descriptions
of spears piercing jawbones and groins
sons without fathers hunting and fishing thereafter
alone. Written
amazingly presciently!
as a metaphor for Vietnam (our war)
forgotten consensually
as this generation slips lazily away
to Hades (or kayaks to the huckleberries)
where the lights are always blue, gentian actually,
supper's served at 4 and former adversaries
pass the heavy hanging time playing pinochle (and pool).
We're selling the house to pay the taxes.
Pallas Athena wars among the men
from the axle of her chariot
and Venus is injured by Diomed,
standing in the field of battle where she never should have been,
in her adorable hand.
What has this to do with Solomon in jail.
Not the Jewish king, a black American male,
same thing.
Your children can be failed at school and marched to war.
You can be taxed and sent to gaol for the honor of it.
anyone lived in a pretty how town.
We have no obligation
to perform the Iliad or read poems and even Homer
considers Achilles effete (compared to Hector)
and Odysseus is wrong even when he's right.
Therefore, modern man explores
the mathematics of circles in coordinate planes and their tangents
(when) (once) (soon)
the secret of warp speed is discovered
expansion of the species will be limitless and permanent.
Categories:
anatomically, blue, daughter, father, jewish,
Form:
Free verse
Executing my pace to destiny with an added pair of legs
makes it a perfect symphony
the long queue of my aspirations and visions
will translate into reality
by passing through the doors of your views.
Your focus, ideology and belief, nothing more I expect
corresponding to mine, like a lock and key
that I respect.
One can expertly execute, but two will effectively deliver
every bridge has two ends
and no coin has just one side.
Little wonder!
The body’s functionality naturalizes in pairs.
the limbs, eyes, ears and lungs;
even the mouth, nose and the brain
house anatomically paired contents.
This rounded finger-loving element
just confirms our steady Life’s movement.
My mind rings with an uproar of oceans
but not anointing that finger becomes my dreadful superstition.
Now! Let’s honour the “pair-religion” as I…
Stand on a foot and a knee, engaging you with the popular line
“Will you marry me?”
Categories:
anatomically, beautiful, culture, cute love,
Form:
Romanticism
(alternately titled one me silly more till manufactured
from go win addle American
non refundable private parts)
each set of twenty three chromosomes
the basic biological building blocks
of life came out cervix
when second hand of analog clocks
barely and scarcely swept across dial,
wrought offspring appearance
as a pier a docks
closely resembling a monkey
perhaps...hmm...
maybe mother mated with a chimp
assimilating chromosomal flox
genetic combination brought about add hocks
viz bouncing baby boy skinny and fair game
as a pluperfect future target for jocks
when I took first gasp of air sputtered
like an old engine that knocks,
now just easing into ma deuce score
and xix year with hair reed locks
twittering, snorting, rattling nonetheless
became precious human dependent
with mat chew anti body mox
see for father and mother
to care despite expelling nox
shuss gas out derriere, which profuse flatulence
natural immunization
kept away infected kids with pox
nicknamed little buttock blaster
now sits in a comfy chair and rocks
reminiscing about boyhood
and a pooch named Socs
who told time applying faux paws vox
like tum make sounds resembling tick tocks
Nowadays every potential mom and dad
disappointed unless offspring(s) feverish follow fad
decreeing qualified as gifted birth of lass or lad
go wing great lengths to prod and push
progeny until a genius to be had
rather tubby thankful and gratefully glad
regaling robust surprise
packaged traits of yore
inheriting genetics descended
when early apes did de tour
terrestrial virgin earth
anatomically complete store
reed awesomely astounding miracle from spore
sized fertilized ovum (healthy
and sound baby boy or girl) hood roar
if lionized, which feline bellow mew might mean
change my dye ya pore
and pamper me sum more
gnome hatter wailing mama or papa ignore
thence nurturing baby pipes por favor
kinship knits omnipotent bond evermore
where tis instinctual to adore.
Categories:
anatomically, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form:
Personification
Almost all aborigines are Australian
And are apparently also Albanian
Although an amateur actor and atheist
Allegedly also an arsonist
Asked an adjacent Albanian
Are any Albanians Australian
An ardent and arrogant activist
And actually an able archivist
Abruptly answered accordingly
All answers are always affordably
Available at advisory areas
And an agent adept at arias
Answers abruptly affirmative
And adds an adapted alternative
An anatomically accurate assessment
And Albanian Australian attestant
An aborigine and an Australian
Aren’t actually actual Albanian
29 June 2922
Contest: Begin With A Letter
Sponsor: Angela Tune
Categories:
anatomically, humorous, identity,
Form:
Rhyme
As you chameleoned in this red restaurant
I passed by you nonchalant
You came near hoping I’d notice
Little you know, Already I have sensed you in abyss
We strolled over chaos and headlights
We talked over fermented duck eggs and silly insights!
I took you to an awkward place
You held on to my smiling face
We landed with sugar skulls and a mojito on hand
The fondness we had, the giggles we jammed
I retreated tipsy, the weather flu got you drowsy
Nonetheless, we parted the night in a starry ecstasy
We seconded with coffee
Our conversation, though barred by ethnicity was flowy
That sunny humid afternoon was supposed to be your flight
You chose to miss it to spend us one more night
The night you desired to remain became my renewed adventure
I took you to places that gave both our hearts the seizure
We were sitting, popping a bottle of beer on top of the city.
Blinded by the vast aerial urban lights, we were cozy.
By daybreak, we had to wake the reality
To face the hour where we separate from our shared gravity
Miles do separate us anatomically
But from the distant galaxy, we belong in one entity
Until we meet again, let us nod over an interim use of fiber optics
Let’s be ambidextrous until we can find better tactics
All that is cyber for now we’ll have to see for later
I may see you soon, I may see you never
Will there ever be a sequel to this chapter?
All that I know is the cold July you snuggled with Ember
All memories of you remains calm and light
That moment… I’ll forever hold…
Until your next flight…
I am just waiting on the other side
Categories:
anatomically, funny love, memory, missing
Form:
Free verse
I have a live doll.
She curtsies and twirls, dances.
Farts and says excuse me through a giggle,
Poops and pees,
Is anatomically correct.
Little blonde doll,
I comb her hair but it is always wild,
Sometimes I’d like to carry her by it
But I never do.
My live doll
Smiles and sings songs
Has multiple sayings from her pull-string:
I love you,
Please and thank you,
Mommy and Daddy,
F*&% or fork.
(We aren’t quite sure.)
My pretty doll,
She is fully posable
Has multiple outfits:
Pink dresses, blue jeans,
Pajamas for night.
She came with a certificate.
My darling doll,
I hope the world
doesn’t rip off your limbs
and forget you under the bed.
Categories:
anatomically, child, fear, growing up,
Form:
Free verse
ELEPHANTINE ERROR
”That’s not my elephant!”
She said loudly between mouthfuls of spaghetti.
Ella was one of my 2nd graders,
And we had just discussed the Bill of Rights,
And were taking our lunch break.
Some kid said Democrats were better than Republicans
‘Cos donkeys were better than elephants.
Seemed to me a good enough reason to prefer
One useless party over another.
Then they were trading pictures, hand-drawn,
Of party symbols, and Ella was indignant
Cos another girl said her (messy) picture of an elephant
Was better, anatomically speaking, than Ella’s
(messy) skinny elephant pic, adding sarcastically
That this inferior pachyderm was no doubt called “Ella”.
Then Ella yelled, between mouthfuls of spaghetti,
But I’m a Democrat and this is my donkey !
I knew then that party allegiance
Was going to be a lifelong thing for Ella.
Couldn’t be known as Ella the Elephant,
Every time she held up her poster at conventions.
Categories:
anatomically, funny
Form:
Free verse
I don't have a beer gut.
I have a liquid grain storage facility.
I don't get falling-down drunk.
I become horizontal accidentally.
I am not short.
I'm compact anatomically.
I don't have a hot body.
I'm not combustible physically.
I'm not a cradle robber.
I'm prone to differential relationships generationally.
I'm not unsophisticated.
I'm challenged socially.
I'm not a bad dancer.
I'm caucasian overly.
I don't hog the blankets.
I'm unappreciative thermally.
I'm not a male chauvinist pig.
I have swine empathy.
I'm not afraid of commitment.
I'm challenged monogamously.
I'm not a diplomat.
I am correct politically.
Categories:
anatomically, people
Form:
Rhyme
Children were afraid of metallic plastic face robots
So the solution was to make them look real
Real?
Yes, Lifelike Optimum Robotic Assistant, LORA
She will be the best nanny you ever had, she never needs sleep
Programmed in all domestic chores and child safe and friendly
Children just love her...
Model Z12 2-4-6, lets call her Nora our Lora
The neighbors will be so jealous...
The children are happy and getting so smart
As parents no worries if were apart
Nora can protect, dress, feed even play games
Being a parent will never be the same
She's gentle and soft, eyes with a glow
Anything asked of her she already knows
The house is perfection, the meals homemade
Happiness is a LORA android man made
At night we never lose sleep
Nora is there if the baby weeps
If Tommy is frighten by nightmares
Nora can hold him and soothe away fears
We have it easy and are pleased
Nora has everyone at ease
Last night as we played Mommy and Daddy games
Nora came in our room and it felt strange
She heard me call baby and her functions stopped
Next morning maintenance took her back to the shop
The baby cries and Tommy is sad
The house a mess, the food taste bad
When can we get our LORA back?
Another week! Don't call me Jack!
Finally Nora is here
Everyone smiles with cheer
Nora save us from our fate
Parents can go on a date
But as we try to leave
Nora hands Susie a bottle
No Nora you watch the baby
It's just the Mister and me
Nora seems unsettled
Late at night I am in the shower
Nora comes in like a prowler
She begins to wash me
Nora please let me be
Nora no, she gets wet
Her body is anatomically correct?
But Susie it was just a glitch
Nora is reprogrammed and fixed
Besides the children love her...
Nora's eyes seem alive
She sways as she walks by
Never ages always is fair
Even has a pleasant scent in her hair
She is so soft to the touch
Susie is jealous. Too much
Spring and time to mow the lawn
Whose that with no shirt on?
Tan and teen with a gleam in his eyes
Fernando don't forget the trim
Clean the pool..
But Susie he is too lifelike!
Why didn't you tell me you got a gardner robot?
Baby, you hate yard work
Besides who said Fernando was a LORA?
Categories:
anatomically, conflict, confusion, emotions, fantasy,
Form:
Rhyme
I’d orbid any suns with you,
or earths.
Together casting shadows,
Proclaiming insignificance
of light or night or day or
time.
Silently swooning weightless,
airless.
Compositions of magnificence
crashing through stars
and holes of darkness.
Big, bold balls of deafness
with graves of blazing fire.
Nautical pilots of our sky
orbiting each other.
Categories:
anatomically, desire, destiny, devotion, love,
Form:
Free verse
I have an important message
for man's best friend
humming like rolling wheels at 90
incandescent like a hubcap overhead
listen to this you highway palm readers
the pressure in this tire
is anatomically incorrect
and at four atmospheres
ALERT! ALERT!
all radar units report your locI and foci
on the plan-it planet,
space never got named
by causes and their waiting effects
the secret of death
is to pay no attention to it
I go with the info dear recipient
info in outfo out
if we never meet
tell them I ain't invisible
it may not be much
but it won't be enough either
wheels for legs radio screaming
entertaining beyond abomination
we Febrilacs from planet Nu-Oc
speak our own language,
if monotony generates subtlety
it must be high resolution
because others have done so
is not enough
in zero plastic space
the big molecule
a million moving parts
sonic on the inside freezing out
do we try to figure it out in
here's the secret
amnesia is the root of all comedy
blame it on the invisible
beans from outer space
and their gift
the list of blisters
Categories:
anatomically, how i feel,
Form:
Free verse
Modern girls come anatomically correct
With diamonds in their eyes not marbles
Some come in plastic with moving parts
Made in China for a fraction of the price
Talking dolls with pull strings are cheaper
Batteries are not included with later models
Real dolls need credit cards to have and hold
From this day forward they always say I do
Categories:
anatomically, beauty, identity, money, silly,
Form:
Free verse