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Bertha Poems - Poems about Bertha


Premium Member Bejeweled Bertha
Bejeweled Bertha can dive into any pond Flipping back to the surface with rare jewels on She sometimes finds emeralds, once she found gold Her necklace today of pearls looks like antiques, oh so old. Bejeweled Bertha’s family is full of magical beasts. Some can conjure up the most scrumptious delicious feasts. One uncle can go down into a cave and...

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Categories: bertha, character,
Form: Rhyme
Big Burpin' Bertha
Big Burpin’ Bertha had terrible gas! She wondered why no one would give her a pass And when she would bend Well, let’s not pretend A mass of that gas would trespass, oh how crass! Dedicated to Jan Allison The Gas Expert...

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Categories: bertha, fun, humor,
Form: Limerick



Big Bertha
Big busty Bertha was at the business luncheon, with everyone talking business and munching, suddenly she let out a big sneeze, everyone thought it was a striptease, when in fact it was just a wardrobe malfunction....

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Categories: bertha, business, food, humor,
Form: Limerick
Premium Member Black Pearl Pirate Ship Versus Hurricane Bertha
Black Pearl Pirate Ship versus Hurricane Bertha August 9th 2014. Liverpool was a mighty port New Brighton stood by Perch Rock Fort The Black Pearl sat on Wirral sands and stone And against Hurricane Bertha stood alone Bertha howled and shrieked anew A massive wind that blew and blew Waves and tides lashed at Black Pearl But could not unseat this ungainly girl Her...

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Categories: bertha, adventure, boat, children, community,
Form: Narrative
Premium Member Methane Bertha
Her name was Methane Bertha And if you met you'd know why There's always a southern wind blowing Everyone she meets holds their nose And then says goodbye. She eats nothing but sprouts coffee and beans She has a massive deriaire and isn't very clean Bertha once had a date At last it was her fate But it's so hard to kiss someone With a...

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Categories: bertha, character, crazy, funny, howl,
Form: Free verse



The Secret Life of Buxom Bertha
The Secret Life of Buxom Bertha By Elton Camp Bertha’s nineteen she always will mention She certainly know how to get attention She goes to pick-up sites every day There, her many charms to display Her enticing measurements she’ll share To tell her astonishing libido does dare “Oh, John, I just can’t wait to meet you. Please tell me everything you’d do!” She knows exactly...

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Categories: bertha, humor,
Form: Rhyme
Big Bertha and the Diet Pills
Big Bertha and the Diet Pills By Elton Camp Bertha, her figure came to hate So she resolved to lose weight For advice, Susan she went to see “These diet pills really helped me” “They’re what Weight Watchers use So many colors from which to choose” “The letters WW will clearly identify. These are something you should try.” Bertha took a dozen of the pills...

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Categories: bertha, humorous,
Form: Rhyme
Premium Member Bertha
Bertha Bertha who had a cute little nose one day at the beach took off her clothes. Her mother said “Bertha! “get dressed or I’ll hurt ya.” Bertha just five, could care less what showed. ©Kathryn McLoughlin Collins...

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Categories: bertha, childhood, children, , cute,
Form: Limerick
"colored" Women Called Bertha
Why do people associate the name Bertha with a "colored" woman? Is it the strut, or the way she carries herself? Or is it just the mischief of demonic elves? Caucasioan women are confident with their well endowed selves, Many would try to augment their shape, Yet, they never get labeled with words like "ape", or rarely get called Bertha, So why is it...

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Categories: bertha, politicalwomen, women,
Form: Prose Poetry
Bertha Had a Little Lamb
Bertha had a little lamb That was Mary's sister And everywhere that Mary went Bertha often missed her See Mary was the oldest child And Bertha well she wasn't And Mary understands her sheep But poor old Bertha doesn't So Bertha had a little lamb Its fleece was black as coal And everywhere that Bertha went She just wouldn't let him go See Bertha was the black...

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Categories: bertha, funnygirl,
Form: Rhyme
Bertha Bea
Bertha Bea Barbara Bathwork will not do her homework because she wants to do nothing but play all day and not sleep at night either. So do not even bother her for eternity....

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Categories: bertha, childhood
Form: Rhyme

Book: Radiant Verses: A Journey Through Inspiring Poetry