Methane Bertha
Her name was Methane Bertha
And if you met you'd know why
There's always a southern wind blowing
Everyone she meets holds their nose
And then says goodbye.
She eats nothing but sprouts coffee and beans
She has a massive deriaire and isn't very clean
Bertha once had a date
At last it was her fate
But it's so hard to kiss someone
With a gas mask on your face.
Her best friend smelly Janet
Had a lovely thought
She bought Bertha a present
in the shape of a cork.
Bertha placed it carefully
Where the sun doesn't shine
But the gas just built up inside of her
She grew like a balloon
And floated in the air.
The fire brigade was called
And they rushed as fast as they can
But soon as they saw it was Bertha
They turned around and hastily dropped their plan.
Eventually the cork flew out
And Bertha landed safely upon the ground
With a very long southern wind kinda sound.
One day Bertha was out in town
And everyone around ran away
It was methane Bertha
And they knew a southern wind would blow them away.
Well one day Bertha met her man
He had a constant cold
So didn't understand.
He was a trumpet player called Angelo from Peru
It wasn't long before she had learned to play the trumpet too
That southern wind would give out a cheerful tune
And very soon
They gave outside concerts
Around the world
And run their car on methane
And would blow together so romantic
Under the stars and moon.
If ever you see Bertha
My advice to you
Is to wear a close peg on your nose
Like the locals do.
Peter Dome.copyright.2014. July.
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