Where do I stand
When presented with a choice
Transported by a full force
That lands me in a false chance
Yet, I stand.
Breaking the shackles
That held me in my ankles
So tight like a buckle
Wrapped in my knuckles
Yet, I stand.
What is given is a Token
The heart that bleeds is broken
The life that fades is taken
Certain thoughts can't be driven
Yet, I stand.
I tried by following the trace
Which led me to climb the trees
That blew away my tears with its breeze
Then I felt my soul soothed by a kiss
Yet, I stand.
A Concentration was needed in the motion
But Consideration paved way for a failed emotion
Without caution moments became illusion
With a precipitation of low evaluation
Yet, I stand.
All of these void I tried to avoid
Because it placed in me a typhoid
The fever in me which devoured
And my body left to divide
Yet, I stand.
The sour in my body was bathed with gingers
Especially at the tip of my fingers
Sending a message of dangers
Yet, the pains still lingers
Yet, I stand,
Yet, I live.
Like ghosts in my pockets, weighing me down,
burdens echoing with quiet sorrow,
coiling tight around the soul in silent pain.
Some weights like umbrellas cast aside after storms,
others iron shackles, rusted, locked in permanence—
all carried unseen, but deeply felt.
Knots in the spine, scars engraved on the mind,
tangled threads, riotous roots of clinging shadows—
held tight, wrapped in sorrow and guilt.
The weight of unspoken words,
unfinished tasks, unkept promises,
and unmanageable memories—
all soaked deep in regret.
Letting go is not an option
when remorse is all you have,
and anguish your only friend.
Anxiety consumes.
IT eats
And IT eats
devouring,
until the only substance left is drool.
A drool so cold and numb,
one could say IT hurts.
IT dribbles down the brain
looking at memories,
looking at moments,
ripping them and moving to the next.
IT leaves IT'S exhausting trail while going back to IT'S hiding place.
In the back of the mind IT sits, getting hungry. The anguish is almost addicting.
One more thought circles back and once again anxiety pounces,
always hungry,
always empty,
never satisfied.
Taking a child from an unmarried mother is shocking, many are shamed and shunned by society with many taking their own lives, sadly
in some parts of the world this vile practise continues.
Quote by poet.
Paul and Suzy fell in love whilst they were both still at school,
They were inseparable and often seen holding hands together,
Suzy found out she was with child; her parents were outraged.
When her son was born her parents gave him up for adoption,
the next morning, she was found dead with a note by her side
and in her hand was a small cuddly toy that Paul had given her.
The abyss swallowed you
Into the ocean of despondency,
Right above death's holler,
And you couldn't quitclaim.
No skepticism, no demurrer—
You took fate lightly.
Memento Mori, your guts finally cried out
To space and sky.
No one to reckon with
But your aimless shadow.
What fate bestowed upon you
Is beyond your hamper,
And what claim have you to the Messiah
That the life that's yours isn't what you chose?
Take what's yours—
No one needs your debacle,
For each man has enough already.
If fate made you deplorable,
Make lime out of lemons,
Or otherwise, yada-yada-yada.
But what’s not acceptable
Is a sheep’s tears
And a wish not to live out your life.
If misery didn't visit you,
Who then should it claim?
For there to be balance in life,
You must accept fate—
And I too will accept mine.
## The Feast
They gather in the shadowed corners of my mind,
A ravenous horde, their forms undefined.
Not flesh and bone, but whispers sharp and cold,
They gnaw at peace, and stories left untold.
Doubt, the gaunt hound, with eyes that never blink,
He sniffs at joy, and leaves a bitter stink.
Anxiety, the spider, spins her silken snare,
Trapping my breath, and tangling in my hair.
Despair, the serpent, coils around my heart,
Squeezing the hope, tearing my world apart.
He hisses low, of worthlessness and pain,
A constant echo in the pouring rain.
They feast on dreams, and visions bright and bold,
Leaving behind a wasteland, barren, cold.
They steal my voice, and paralyze my hand,
Leaving me lost within this desolate land.
But even in the darkness, a flicker starts to grow,
A tiny ember, refusing to let go.
It’s the will to fight, the strength to rise and stand,
To reclaim my mind, to take back my own land.
For though they feast, they cannot truly win,
The human spirit burns, a fire from within.
And one day soon, I’ll banish them from sight,
And bathe my soul in healing, golden light.
They embrace the illusion, loud noises of praise - in lieu of
the mirage, I opt for unblemished soul.
Hidden symphony conjuring reckless gambit, in the open
they unveil their virtuous guise.
They are drawn to one another like magnets,
embracing shared values, dancing with darkness.
They cast stones at the different, branding diverse worship as heresy,
but God's ways invite diverse devotion.
If your laughter dances too closely with his,
you're in the waltz of flirtation.
If you lock the door of greeting, you've sealed
the envelope of rudeness in the church's mail.
They sculpt divinity from the clay of humanity,
crafting a godlike statue from the very beings it resembles.
And to souls like mine,
they label us intoxicated by the spirits of transgression.
If I choose to swim against the river of man-made language,
am I cast as a rebel in the sea of sin?
You're dying....
I'm Cancer,
No denying.
I'm happy
No lying,
Years fighting,
Years trying,
I love that,
You're dying.
September crashes through the seas,
Summer’s depths, carrying my dreams
Taking my regrets, with the breeze,
Breathing light across the tide’s streams.
October paints it’s fierce display,
Rusty leaves in stunning outbursts,
Trembling hues seem to gently pray.
Dancing with autumn’s tranquil firsts.
November calms with its grey brush,
Washing dawn with overcast blues,
Tempting us to see autumn’s flush,
Caressing the waves who enthuse.
This is the struggle with autumn,
Where souls sometimes hit rock bottom.
Anointed in Kerosene to confer in agony with ignited desecration of mortal flesh to bone, seared by melting anguish writhe blistering contortions through a suppressed discomfort in furious continual thresh heshers pernicious by physical immolation.
Written on Apr/27/2024
I could fill a bottle with air,
sunken by liquid depression.
A matter so densely populated.
by false hope and worthless thoughts.
I cower to my need to feel this way,
for this was the path I chose.
and this is the shoe I must eat.
God be damned, and I damned me.
So yes, I'll be having another,
and another, and another,
until the floor quakes.
under the pressure of shattered glass.
and the walls give in to my blows.
And F you for saying a word to stop me.
Don't you know who I am?
You are the son of Adam,
and I am the afterbirth, less than.
Earth can't decompose me.
because I don't deserve the mercy of death.
So, my heart will pump and my liver will fill
and this darkness will swallow me.
until I am nothing but matter.
enveloped by all things vile.
Leave me alone while I shiver.
Forget about me as I remember.
Go back toward the light,
for I will be forever lost.
"An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth,"
Israel's war crimes, a brutal truth..
The statistics are glaring and growing more bleak.
One thousand Gaze an children killed every week..
Fathers in anguish, mothers drown in their tears,
their babies now gone before their first year..
Every fifteen minutes a child killed in their blast,
while one in four are starving now, some eating only grass.
For those that survive while in harms way, are losing
their limbs as the bombs splay.
12,000 innocents, undeserving of their fate,
while the rest of the world just watches and waits..
47% of Gaza's population are children.
Neath bright skies
I never mourn
When love dies
Then anguish born
Written: January 21, 2024
____________________________________
Its lack of meaning is puzzling
The smile on my face
The pure one is evanescent
I ditched you in afar space
Nobody cares of my anguish
Or even witness my tears
They presume I'm laughing
Yet I regret not having you here
Nobody grasps how inure it is
They believe me to be fearless
I'm told it won't harm me
Yet, I suppose this is witless.
Vivid feelings for you turn idle
They believe I was set free
Still, it's as if chains bind me
I am tangled in the mystery
Nobody feels I need you badly
They expect I can handle it alone
But they don't grasp I'm bawling
In a state of utter lassitude
Today, I lost something dear
I lost something unreal
The core of my soul has left lately
My loss has devastated me
My beliefs have vanished
Once I felt adducible, I lost
I lost my core convictions
In sadness, I cry—why me?
What is this crazy world in which we live
Time enough to blame, no time to forgive
Mad greed for power has grown out of bounds
Caught in a dilemma are moral grounds
Ethics as guide, are long dead and buried
No house for poor, rich have mansions storied
Obsessed with creating wealth temporal
Unknowing any moment takes a call
On our deaths despite the medical care
Be carried to the grave with no fanfare
Vainful is our existence we know not
Life starts not in the womb but in God's thought
When it's time to go, in dust we mingle
No wealth gained will help no love can sprinkle
The elixir eternal that we yearned
Forever remained elusive ungained
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