Vertical Binds
probing rays of light
spill through
my window pain
my mind wanders
between shadow and fray
I exhale a faint whisper
into the stagnant
life hovering around me
energy awakens and begins
a dizzy stumbling dance
the sun searches for my presence
in this otherwise dim and lonely space
a hot touch finds my face
I squint as if staring
at the abusive hand
of a dead lover
I recoil in a harsh memory laid to rest
haunted specters
edge through unfulfilled spaces
I lie stoic listening for time to move
I step up on a stair
spiraling down to a
door of self-doubt
that has rotted with age
the hinges have rusted,
and a drunken handle is
dangling
a window of self-blame
fogged by anxious ventilation
curdles inside its frame
it slams wide-shut
when confronted
with any shudder of pain
a bucket of trauma spills over revealing memories
unsettling and stark
but suddenly, a cosmic rain of tears
pours down from above
it washes the fear, branded to my heart
I am showered in healing and unconditional love
memories may surface in soft places,
but I won't be bound,
by the fear or inadequacy
that tore me down
I will never allow my
self-worth to be invaded,
nor my soul, to ever again be degraded
Copyright © Gabrielle Jordan | Year Posted 2019
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