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Two Lovers On the Porch

Black star studded night Porch totally visible by porch light Two young lovers standing on porch Knowing daddy soon will call of course Serious talk has occured Only the night has heard their words He's saying that he joined the force Soon he'll leave for service of course She's afraid she'll be alone With him gone so far from home Maybe her time can be usefully spent She'll go to school if he'll give consent (Inspired by Brian Strand's Edward Hooper's Summer Evening contest but not an entry.)

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Lynette Chachere

Date: 2/19/2010 8:03:00 AM

second stanza reminds me of Dear John(: so cute. but about your poem, it's all true. there is so much going on in the minds of people younger, that they can't always control their actions at the moment. -Always&Forever Lynette

Innocent Ododo

Date: 10/20/2009 9:49:00 AM

Its a nice poem Sara. Keep up love. Thanks

Elaine George

Date: 10/19/2009 11:52:00 PM

Dear Sara, You should have entered. It is very good. Love, Lainie

T.A. Skyles-Theoklapoet

Date: 10/19/2009 1:56:00 PM

You should enter it.It's a great read loving,tender it's beautiful Sara.I have Fredrichs ataxia.Thanks for reading my poem.Teresa

Doris Culverhouse

Date: 10/19/2009 7:01:00 AM

nicely penned, good job!

Caroline Cécile Delacroix

Date: 10/18/2009 8:00:00 PM

Very nice write. Good imagery and great rhyming. Thanks for sharing and thank you for your comments on my poems. Caroline.

Kate W

Date: 10/18/2009 12:09:00 PM

beautiful write enjoy reading your poetry..........kate

John Patrick Robbins Aka Gonzo

Date: 10/18/2009 7:56:00 AM

It should have been one really good write flows so very well. Really likes your use of ryhme in this one keep that pen flowing

Kelly Zakerski

Date: 10/18/2009 5:01:00 AM

Sara - You truly have a gift my dear - Thank you so VERY much for ALL of the insprirational words. My husband leaves for Afghanistan in July, so these all hit home. Thanks again for your great writes. Love, Kelly

James Fraser

Date: 10/17/2009 6:23:00 PM

Beautiful piece Sara >> James

Tim Lundmark

Date: 10/17/2009 5:05:00 PM

I loved the poem, I can only aspire to be as accomplished a poet as you!

Mohammad Yamin

Date: 10/17/2009 4:27:00 PM

A beautiful poem, Sarah. I like it. Also thanks for your encouraging comments on my poem Big Heart. -Mohammad

John Freeman

Date: 10/17/2009 2:50:00 PM

Beautiful narration of two young lovers on the porch, things are so different when thought out in a young mind. I remember thoes times at the things I would have done differently, had I waited and thought it out through a more mature mind. I sure we all have, and would have done differently. Thanks for your encourgement in contest. Sincerely, love, Moses