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The Nature of the Beast

My overcast mood broods. In a mental melee across my mind’s skies, as far as the eyes can see, maddened crowds of electrically charged thought-clouds prey seized negative space surrounding the heart of me. Across my mind’s skies as far as the eyes can see brain-storms rise in cumulonimbus angst, roaming seized negative space surrounding the heart of me with flashing lightning jags. I seethe in my gloaming. Brain-storms rise in cumulonimbus angst - roaming. Blowing the chastised chasms of my blackened mind with flashing lightning jags - I seethe in my gloaming under dark emotions thundering and squall-lined. Blowing the chastised chasms of my blackened mind, ‘I-should-have-known-better’ flared-up winds are fuming under dark emotions thundering and squall-lined seeking to shred your justifications looming. I should have known better! Flared-up winds are fuming... Maddened crowds of electrically charged thought-clouds prey seeking to shred your justifications. Looming, my overcast mood broods in a mental melee. Susan Ashley April 14, 2018

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Alycia Wheatley

Date: 6/6/2018 10:28:00 PM

The imagery is vivid. As a reader I was pulled in by the feeling, " I've been there before" love the reoccurring mantra " I should have known better!" As we all feel when wronged.

Susan Ashley
Date: 6/7/2018 11:04:00 PM

I relish your beautiful comments, Alycia, and I'm so glad you were able to relate to the feelings conveyed in my poem. Your lovely thoughts are held in my deepest appreciation. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

John Hamilton

Date: 5/1/2018 2:46:00 PM

Not a fan generally of pantoums, but I like this one Susan, you just have a way to draw the reader in with your amazing imagery, glad I dropped in on this one! Your vocab is out of this world!!

Susan Ashley
Date: 5/3/2018 8:52:00 PM

John, I relish your wonderful comments and delight in your visit. Glad you enjoyed my pantoum, even more so since your generally not a fan of this form. I treasure your thoughts and your time spent here as well. Warmest wishes, my friend.. ~Susan

Faraz Ajmal

Date: 5/1/2018 10:56:00 AM

Oh it s a really beautiful written poem, a really nice example of a pantoum, I recently heard about this form of poetry and checking out examples of this poem, I m glad that I come across this one, your this poem was full of imaginations and a really enjoyable one to read

Susan Ashley
Date: 5/3/2018 8:46:00 PM

Faraz, I am elated that you enjoyed my poem. Thank you for reading and leaving such lovely comments. Your visit delights me and your wonderful kindness touches my heart. I deeply appreciate you precious thoughts, my friend. Warmest wishes ~Susan

Arturo Michael

Date: 4/20/2018 5:24:00 AM

Trouble is brewing somewhere in the mind...a stormy poem...should be calm by now...I never understood this thing called pantoum...not that I didn't try...A big sunny hug...All the best Susan...

Susan Ashley
Date: 4/20/2018 8:56:00 PM

Dear Arturo, thank you for the big sunny hug and for your wonderful visit to my poem.. No troubles in this mind :) this poem was inspired by a very dramatic, bad mood cloudy sky I saw while I was driving home from work last week. I thought, if this sky was emotion, it would be dark, intense, brooding feelings of anger - and so a poem was born :) Thank you for your beautiful comments, mon ami.. Warmest wishes and hugs ~Susan

Jessica Amanda Salmonson

Date: 4/16/2018 4:47:00 PM

And then fire came out of your eyes and turned that sucker to ashes!

Susan Ashley
Date: 4/17/2018 10:10:00 PM

Lol! You know me so well ;) Thank you, Jessica, your comment is awesome! Warmest wishes ~Susan

Paul Callus

Date: 4/16/2018 11:02:00 AM

Well done, Susan...another excellent Pantoum. I can't imagine you in this scenario, but I can definitely imagine you getting into the 'mood', poetically! Love how you tweaked some of the lines when it came to repeating them...clever. When you take some days off before posting I know that you're working hard, and you never disappoint:) ~ Warm wishes // paul

Susan Ashley
Date: 4/19/2018 2:12:00 PM

Paul, your comments are always so delectable and never fail to be pleasurable and satisfying. Thank you for your fantastic insights, you know me so well my dear friend! :) Your remarks inspire me always. Warmest wishes and hugs.. ~Susan

Gershon Wolf

Date: 4/15/2018 9:54:00 PM

Susan, I'm gonna go with my initial thoughts here, which I consider high praise--although they're a bit risqué, esp. for a square like me: Can you imagine putting Stormy Daniels and Donald Trump in a room together and letting them slobber over this poem---and then watching their reaction to see (if they understood anything, of course) which of them figured out that you'd just pantsed the H out of both of them simultaneously? LOL forever! OK. Enough of that. This is a MARVELOUS pantoum! :) gw

Susan Ashley
Date: 4/16/2018 6:42:00 PM

Lol! I'm entertained by your imaginative comments, my dear friend, Gershon. You never fail inspire giggles and smiles, esp. when it's at 'The Donald's' expense.. Lol forever, indeed! Thank you for your marvelous comments and your very charming visit, my witty friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Probir Gupta

Date: 4/15/2018 8:59:00 PM

A wonderful pantoum, Susan ... Great creativity ...

Susan Ashley
Date: 4/16/2018 1:09:00 PM

I am charmed by your visit, Probir and I relish your wonderful comments, my friend. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan

Jack Horne

Date: 4/15/2018 2:54:00 PM

wow, such a powerful write here. I find this form very tricky but you've pulled it off perfectly

Susan Ashley
Date: 4/15/2018 3:46:00 PM

Hi Jack, your visit is such a pleasure! I actually love writing in this form. I love the subtle shifts of meaning you can create within the repeated lines with deft punctuation. I'm so happy you enjoyed my poem. Thank you for sharing your lovely thoughts with me. Warmest wishes my friend. ~Susan

Jean Murray

Date: 4/15/2018 9:24:00 AM

So glad to hear the menace was only a figment of your imagination Susan. You are always co composed here.

Susan Ashley
Date: 4/15/2018 9:35:00 AM

Haha! It takes a lot to lightening light my thunderous fuse, Jean, although I have had a stormy day or two, here or there.. :) Your visit is a pleasure and your presence on my page is a delight! Thank you for your lovely comments, my friend. Warmest wishes ~Susan

Viv Wigley

Date: 4/15/2018 1:40:00 AM

I considered taking cover while reading this landscape of approaching menace, Susan, hope your storm has passed :)

Susan Ashley
Date: 4/15/2018 8:56:00 AM

Lol! The sky is bluer and sun shines brighter after a storm that clears the air, emotionally or atmospherically :) My poem is pure fiction, just based on my dramatic emotional interpretation of an ominously cloudy day we had recently. Thank you, Viv, for your awesome comments and I'm thrilled that you found the content of my poem to be a 'menace'.. that was the emotional feeling I was going for. Your visits always delight me, my friend. Warmest wishes ~Susan

Maria Williams

Date: 4/15/2018 12:07:00 AM

An astounding Pantoum Susan my dear friend. Creative brilliance shining through crevices of dark moody places. Each stanza more brilliant then the previous, only goes to emphasize what I've said before, you my dear are one of the best poets on this site. Take a bow, bravo and a fave......Maria xxx

Susan Ashley
Date: 4/16/2018 1:06:00 PM

Ohh, Maria, my dear friend, I adore your comments - 'Creative brilliance shining through crevices of dark moody places' - such artistically beautiful sentiments of high praise from someone whose poetic talents I so admire.. I shall treasure your comments always. Thank you, dear one, for your wondrous friendship, encouragement and for the fave. You're one of the best poets here and one of my faves for sure :) Warmest wishes lovely lady.. ~Susan

Leanne Lovejoy-Burton

Date: 4/14/2018 8:34:00 PM

Nothing beats a rollicking good thunderstorm better than a roll in clean white sheets running black lines banging beautifully all over the margins. Su, Love this pantoum in all its pent up stormy electric gloaming. X hey, I am digging these Pantoums, they add another whole dimension to delivering ...dare I say it, a beautiful climax. :)

Susan Ashley
Date: 4/15/2018 9:39:00 PM

I just love the gusto of your rollicking comments, Leanne. I love writing pantoums and I'm glad you enjoyed this one.. and yes, I agree they do add a whole new dimension to delivering a beautiful climax! :)) Thank you for bringing your awesomeness to my page and sharing your mojo with me.. ~Su

Akkina Downing

Date: 4/14/2018 8:04:00 PM

Just how I felt today... But i kept myself cool. Lol! As always beautiful write from you my dearest friend. Always enjoyed your amazing talent! Sending you my sizzle love ~ Kina ~

Susan Ashley
Date: 4/15/2018 9:06:00 AM

Ohh my beautiful and joyous friend, it's hard for me to imagine you in a stormy and 'menacing mood'.. I'm glad you kept your cool and didn't let your lightning strike. I hope your skies are blue, your sun shines brightly and the air is cleared for you, my dearest Kina. Thank you for your awesomeness and the way you light up my page! Sending you a lovely electrifying bolt of sizzle love, my wonderful friend :)) ~Su

Frederic Parker

Date: 4/14/2018 6:12:00 PM

Nothing like a good argument to release the stress...

Susan Ashley
Date: 4/14/2018 6:48:00 PM

Yes, and to clear the air! Thank you Frederic for your insightful sentiments and for being the first to comment.. Warmest wishes my friend.. ~Susan