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The Last Thing I Need

The Last Thing I Need They all promised plenty none ever came through I was forced to move on from the lies and abuse I can't sit and long for what I don't have Those feelings of want could drive me quite mad So deep and unsettling to wallow in sorrow It strips away hope for today and tomorrow They say loneliness kills and this may be true But living without hope Can do the same thing too Dark negative thoughts can ruin your dreams Deep in your heart you feel the screams All bloody and ragged they tear at your soul It can make you believe you will never feel whole When deep loneliness starts gripping at me I cut myself off from society Though it may seem the wrong thing I know You can't see me like this my pain, it will show It's only people, you see that created the pain and brought to my life the wrong kind of rain I don't have it in me to tear downs these walls I carefully keep built to block out the falls If I don't let you in my heart you can't break the LAST thing I need is another heart ache. (NO, not crying in my beer, lol - just letting the words flow)

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White Wolf

Date: 6/19/2017 1:25:00 AM

Lenna! Yes yes yes! You have removed yourself from the equation and stepped out of the road and let your pen take flight in this piece! I really enjoyed this one! Well done!

Lenna Walker
Date: 6/19/2017 8:32:00 PM

Thank you Rick !! You are right, my pen WAS flying, glad you liked it :)

Elizabeth Kinch

Date: 6/17/2017 2:53:00 PM

Expertly expressed Lenna. I'm sure we've all been there at some point in our lives.

Lenna Walker
Date: 6/19/2017 8:30:00 PM

Thank You Elizabeth:) Yes, I'm sure many can relate :(

Darren White

Date: 6/17/2017 1:36:00 AM

Not whining at all. Real, raw feelings. You express yourself well and as you can see below: you absolutely don't need to put a smiling face on here. Be who you are and as you are. Hugs.

Lenna Walker
Date: 6/17/2017 11:38:00 AM

I really wasn't whining, I just had a thought and my pen just began writing.... before long I had this whole thing written and still felt like I left something out. But as you suggested, I will be who I am, as I am ..... as for those who never deserved me in the first place, their loss :) Thank You so much Darren - Hugs, my friend !

Sara Ella

Date: 6/17/2017 12:22:00 AM

I so relate to this Lenna and it is not whining the way you have written. You have expressed exactly what happens. <3 <3 <3 So well done!

Lenna Walker
Date: 6/17/2017 11:31:00 AM

Thank You Sara, I appreciate your comments my friend :)

Heidi Sands

Date: 6/16/2017 5:43:00 PM

Exactly Lenna! I can completely relate to this. Right on target with how it can be! Well written. I liked the flow, the truth of it all :)

Lenna Walker
Date: 6/16/2017 6:15:00 PM

Thank You Heidi :) I guess a lot of times we think we are alone in how we feel, but the truth is we all get hurt. But I feel a lasting relationship is one where you make life better for each other, it can't be one sided. I am tired of being the horse all the time, sometimes I want to be the buggy !! Have a great weekend Heidi :)

Chris Green

Date: 6/16/2017 5:14:00 PM

You said exactly how it feels Lenna. I think many of us (if not all) have been in this situation and felt this pain and told ourselves...never again. I don't know about everyone else, but I have the hardest time listening to myself. I will probably never learn. I can tell this comes from inside, maybe long ago, maybe recent but regardless, you have expressed these feelings and emotions so well.

Lenna Walker
Date: 6/16/2017 5:42:00 PM

Hi Chris ! Thank You for that. I'm not sure how I feel about that poem. It felt a bit like I am whining about being lonely, yet I cut myself off from any chance of finding a companion. The walls can keep me safe from another broken heart, yes, but what else do they do? Some say, if it is meant to be ... yadda yadda yadda. Have a great weekend my friend:)

Tim Smith

Date: 6/16/2017 4:48:00 PM

I hear you Lenna...let it flow

Lenna Walker
Date: 6/16/2017 4:57:00 PM

:):) Thank You Tim, I did and still feel like I left something important out. Something I cannot seem to put into words I guess. Have a great weekend Tim :)

Lin Lane

Date: 6/16/2017 4:41:00 PM

You sound like a sister of my soul. And the last thing you want to hear is, "It'll be ok" or "you need to get out and get over it." You will in your own time, and it does take time. So have that beer, or have two and I'll be thinking of you.

Lenna Walker
Date: 6/16/2017 5:13:00 PM

Thank You Lin, I wasn't going to post this since it doesn't read positive, but then neither do many others I read here. I am glad you can relate (not glad you have been treated bad) so I know that someone understands what I am saying here. Oh, I hear it all the time, "get over it and get out there". Really?? Out where?? I've BEEN out there, but at this age there are twice as many women as men. I am looking for a companion, I am NOT looking to be just a 'friend with benefits' or being someone's maid. I did try the dating thing and that is what I found, so I am not looking. If I meet someone eventually, fine, until then I'm glad to have a beer with you (in theory) Here's to you sista !!