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The Dance of Jealousy

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'The Dance of...in 16 lines or less' Contest

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Miranda Hawley

I saw them dance the Second Waltz, so lovely, so fine,
Oh my Lord, how my jealous heart did despair and pine.
On the terrace, in the dark of night, moonbeams shone bright.
Curse them, a perfect couple that evoked a great sight.

One, two three and a twirl, oh what a delicate dance
I stood, looking in envy, mesmerised in a trance.
Would that magic music finally pause and take her
To a comfy seat and I would take her as my fleurr.

Hold her ever tight, and face to face, we would engage
In a soft whisper, kiss her soft ear, 'twill be our stage.
But no, they danced on, oblivious of my green face
The terrace was their dominion, it was their birthplace.

Jealous I slinked home, abandoning her forever.
I will not see her again, neither now or ever.

Placed 1st.

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Valsa George

Date: 7/18/2024 9:29:00 PM

Though jealousy is not at all admirable, I greatly enjoyed your poem on the jealousy you felt. That which we couldn't grasp, let it slip away. Never feel any regret about it. Congratulations on your top win.

Kim Rodrigues

Date: 7/11/2024 8:54:00 PM

Congrats on First Place! Woo Hoo! <3

thriveni c mysore

Date: 7/9/2024 4:19:00 AM

congratulations dear poet. Happy writing.

I Am Anaya

Date: 7/8/2024 2:43:00 PM

Congratulations on your top win! Good choices :)

Sara Kendrick

Date: 7/7/2024 10:27:00 AM

Congratulations on your winning work. I am delighted to see it on the winners' list. Way to go. Good one. Sara K

Regina Mcintosh

Date: 7/7/2024 6:34:00 AM

Wonderful writing. Jealousy is surely a vice... lovely. such a glorious write. Congratulations and God bless you, love, Gina

Victor Buhagiar
Date: 7/7/2024 8:03:00 AM

Thank you Regina.

Beryl Edmonds

Date: 7/7/2024 1:47:00 AM

A truly wonderful poem on the dance of jealousy Victor, congratulations on your win in the contest… Beryl

Victor Buhagiar
Date: 7/7/2024 8:04:00 AM

Thanks Beryl. Appreciate it.

Jennifer Proxenos

Date: 6/10/2024 1:11:00 PM

Hi Victor,Who wouldn't be jealous seeing their love who jilted him/her and who wouldn't have the emotions you had. A very different approach, a romantic triangle - well you were far luckier in reality in the romantic arena, you met and married the love of your life. Hugs and blessings, Jennifer. Jennifer.

Indiana Shaw

Date: 6/9/2024 8:10:00 AM

A beautiful Sonnet, Victor, it evoked all the emotions and so much more, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful . . .

Maria Williams

Date: 6/9/2024 3:31:00 AM

Very poetically described dear Victor. Your story telling is always outstanding. This in particular was gripping from beginning to end. I was caught up and enchanted. A fave for me. don't believe I have seen this movie, it looks great, I must watch it...Hugs

Hilo Poet

Date: 6/9/2024 2:25:00 AM

They woke me--device woes, glad they did, I'm able to evidence your refineries, a very good contender. Mines not finished--and not even close, my friend. Hope you'll see my meaning--if you read Martian, Aloha, William

Eileen Manassian

Date: 6/7/2024 10:01:00 PM

Jealousy should be jealous of your writing prowess! How hard to see a loved one being cosy with another. Well... her loss. Blessings

Nette Onclaud

Date: 6/7/2024 9:52:00 AM

ohhh, a poem that is mint--- wonderfully essayed... soupie for you... huggs

Karen Jones

Date: 6/7/2024 1:48:00 AM

Beautiful words with poetic angst! Well done Victor!

Unseeking Seeker

Date: 6/6/2024 2:40:00 AM

Pangs of a jilted lover, penned in your inimitable style, Victor. Enjoyed!

Supraja Kannan

Date: 6/5/2024 7:28:00 PM

Oh wow... This is so unique... Very lovely.... Beautifully articulated the jealous person's emotions... Loved it....

Daniel Henry Rodgers

Date: 6/5/2024 5:37:00 AM

Dear Victor, I believe you have swept me into a world of moonlit terraces and waltzing lovers. The longing and jealousy just reach me to that heart-wrenching final line. I really loved how your rhymes are so melodic, like the music that taunted your narrator. I would say this is a masterful evocation of unrequited love's bitter ache. - Blessings, My Friend, Daniel

Eve Roper

Date: 6/4/2024 11:39:00 PM

Life goes on with pain in our hearts when turned down. Great story write my friend.

Evelyn Judy Buehler

Date: 6/4/2024 5:24:00 PM

Victor, your elegant sonnet is the finest work I've read on the subject of envy. The Second Waltz made the perfect accompaniment to the poem. The final two lines were very stirring and memorable. This is a fave.

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 6/4/2024 4:32:00 PM

Wow I really like this unusual sonnet. It elicits jealous feelings very well. Good job, Victor

Hilda Greenhough

Date: 6/4/2024 1:14:00 PM

I've never been jealous. It does no good. If you friends are successful, you should be happy. If your enemies are successful, you should also be happy because now they will leave you alone. Lol. I like this poem a lot.

Ink Empress

Date: 6/4/2024 11:36:00 AM

Dear victor, apologies for reaching your poem a little late, iv been a bit unwell. But here i am again to read one of your amazing poetic creations. Iv seen few poems on this “ dance of “ theme and i must say yours is an emotively moving one that flows in such eloquence! Love especially the opening stanza! And the last two lines are so soul stirring! Pleasure reading your work always

Mike Bayles

Date: 6/4/2024 8:16:00 AM

You are the master of romantic poems. I also like the turn at the end of the poem.

Sotto Poet

Date: 6/4/2024 8:00:00 AM

your sonnet is delightful Victor. A sweet love tale that shows how love may triumph over envy, a human emotion that is common when we care deeply for another person.