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Tanka 3

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his first day of school classroom door is open wide new beginnings she peers in the mirror how the years have flown by 03~26~15 Tanka 3 Contest Andrea Dietrich based on modern tanka short long short long long syllables ~awarded 6th place~

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Sara Kendrick

Date: 4/2/2015 3:05:00 PM

Congrats!! Sara

Jan Allison
Date: 4/2/2015 3:06:00 PM

Thanks Sara:-) Hugs jan xx

Edward Ebbs

Date: 3/30/2015 9:02:00 PM

I also like this, nicely written, congrats :)

Jan Allison
Date: 3/31/2015 1:39:00 AM

Thanks Ed:-) Hugs Jan xx

Maurice Yvonne

Date: 3/29/2015 9:49:00 PM

I really like it really, really like it!

Jan Allison
Date: 3/30/2015 2:23:00 AM

Thanks Armand I do struggle with the 'twist' in this form which is surprising knowing my other writes lol:-) Hugs Jan xx

Mohan Chutani

Date: 3/28/2015 11:55:00 PM

Lovely parental feel Tanka, Jan. Congrats and thanx for your visit to my page. Mohan

Jan Allison
Date: 3/29/2015 4:13:00 AM

Thanks so much Mohan:-) Hugs Jan xx

Eve Roper

Date: 3/28/2015 11:35:00 PM

I hated seeing my sons grow up too fast. Congratulations on your write. and a 7 Blessings and hugs dear friend

Jan Allison
Date: 3/29/2015 4:13:00 AM

How the years fly by Eve!:-) Hugs Jan xx

John Lawless

Date: 3/28/2015 1:51:00 PM

Just dropping back to say congrats on this one.

Jan Allison
Date: 3/28/2015 2:16:00 PM

Thanks John I appreciate your support:-) Hugs jan xx

Sandra Haight

Date: 3/28/2015 1:28:00 PM

Congratulations, Jan, on this great Tanka. Your words leap the generation of years between mother and son so well. Hugs, Sandra

Jan Allison
Date: 3/28/2015 1:33:00 PM

Thanks Sandra I am finally getting to grips with this form:-) Hugs Jan xx

Kp Nunez

Date: 3/28/2015 12:23:00 PM

Happy your persistence paid off. Congratulations, Jan! Hugs! :)

Jan Allison
Date: 3/28/2015 12:27:00 PM

Thanks Kim I have learned so so much in the last 13 months since starting to write:-) Hugs jan xx

Abdul Malik

Date: 3/28/2015 11:43:00 AM

Very nice. Everybody can relate to this. I like it.

Jan Allison
Date: 3/28/2015 12:00:00 PM

:-) Hugs jan xx

Abdul Malik

Date: 3/28/2015 11:41:00 AM

Very nice. Everybody can relate to this. I like it.

Jan Allison
Date: 3/28/2015 12:00:00 PM

Thanks Abdul:-) Hugs Jan xx

Joseph May

Date: 3/28/2015 11:13:00 AM

Congrats on a fine win Jan

Jan Allison
Date: 3/28/2015 11:59:00 AM

Thanks Joseph:-) Hugs Jan xx

Carrie Richards

Date: 3/28/2015 10:24:00 AM

The contrast is stunning, and rather sad, dear Jan! A great mix of emotion !! Congratulations on making the top 10 !!!!

Jan Allison
Date: 3/28/2015 11:59:00 AM

I am made up Carrie I have worked so hard on this form recently - thanks for the lovely comment:-) Hugs jan xx

Njeri Hunjeri

Date: 3/28/2015 7:58:00 AM

Super smart. All the best in the contest.

Jan Allison
Date: 3/28/2015 8:01:00 AM

Thanks Njeri:-) Hugs Jan xx

Jack Horne

Date: 3/28/2015 7:48:00 AM

oh, love this - VERY clever. So glad to see this was a winner

Jan Allison
Date: 3/28/2015 7:56:00 AM

I am working SO hard to try and get this form right Jack and am so so pleased to have made the top 10 - this was my last ditch attempt and I finally got it right - I do love Andrea's comment about graduation - I now know how I could improve my poem :-) Hugs jan xx

David Mohn

Date: 3/28/2015 1:02:00 AM

Congrats Jan...I love this!

Jan Allison
Date: 3/28/2015 5:38:00 AM

Thanks so much David - it was a real challenge I find the turning point in the poem the hardest bit to get the hang of - may start with the final part first next time and work backwards lol:-) Hugs jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 3/28/2015 12:40:00 AM

wow, Jan, so this is what you have been working on? You told me how hard you have struggled to produce a tanka, and I think your struggle paid off. Maybe not perfect, but pretty darn good!! you are getting the idea of juxtaposition. Just gotta hone it. congrats. i really loved what you were saying in this one. Probably for me, it would begin: he graduates/hats fly in the air... hahaha. that is about the time I felt my own self getting old!!

Jan Allison
Date: 3/28/2015 5:36:00 AM

WOW Andrea I am so so made up to place in the contest I struggle so much with this form - and started about 7 poems this was my last ditch attempt - I won't give up! I like the idea of graduation - that really works with the final lines:-) Hugs Jan xx

Sara Kendrick

Date: 3/27/2015 5:06:00 PM

Been there..Very descriptive of the mother's emotion..Thanks for stoppinb by..Sara

Jan Allison
Date: 3/27/2015 5:17:00 PM

Thanks for the visit Sara I do appreciate your support:-) Hugs jan xx

James Fraser

Date: 3/27/2015 2:35:00 PM

Life summed up for parent and child. Nicely crafted Jan. Good luck in Andrea's contest, hugs//James xx

Jan Allison
Date: 3/27/2015 2:37:00 PM

Yes a mother's life changes totally once they go to school:-) hugs jan xx

Bl Devnath

Date: 3/27/2015 11:10:00 AM

Really beautiful Tanka where each day is beginning and how the days passes by that's like a dream. Good luck in the contest, my lovely friend. Loved always,bl

Jan Allison
Date: 3/27/2015 12:45:00 PM

Thanks so much BL:-) Hugs Jan xx

Joseph May

Date: 3/27/2015 10:11:00 AM

Beautifully written Tanka Jan....Time is so swift in its passage...best wishes

Jan Allison
Date: 3/27/2015 12:45:00 PM

Thanks Joseph:-) Hugs Jan xx

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 3/27/2015 8:32:00 AM

So well done Jan! This is a gem.

Jan Allison
Date: 3/27/2015 8:36:00 AM

Thanks Richard I hope I dont fall down on the syllable count I didnt go for the traditional count just went on short long short long long - can only cross my fingers and hope hugs jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 3/27/2015 8:29:00 AM

- This was truly excellent, dear Jan!!! - Good luck in the contest - I wish you a beautiful and relaxed weekend :) - hugs and love // Anne-Lise :)

Anne-Lise Andresen
Date: 3/27/2015 8:36:00 AM

- I might have to try a tanka myself ........ but not today :)))

Jan Allison
Date: 3/27/2015 8:30:00 AM

Thanks Anne Lise it was a last ditch attempt after starting 7 others and getting no where lol - I am struggling with this form but determined to get it right:-) Hugs Jan xx

Kp Nunez

Date: 3/27/2015 5:17:00 AM

Wow Jan, this is much more daringly different than my modern tanka...and it has an upbeat message! Blessings for the contest, my friend.

Jan Allison
Date: 3/27/2015 6:22:00 AM

I am not confident with this form and struggle so badly Kim this was my last ditch attempt - just hope Andrea likes it:-) Hugs jan xx

Shane Cooper

Date: 3/27/2015 3:37:00 AM

I am not sure if I shall post it yet. I shall probably attempt another rewrite first. I know what you mean about the years flying past, my beautiful granddaughter Aimee-Rose will be going to high school next year. Seems like only yesterday that I was laying her to sleep in her cot. Stay safe dear friend. Love Shane xxx

Shane Cooper
Date: 3/27/2015 4:22:00 AM

You and I do think alike regardless of all else. I have already spoken with Andrea, I was not writing for this competition. I did not write well in her first competition It is for my need to be able to learn and grow in my poetry that I am determined to be able to express my heart in what ever form suits the mood of the write. Yet I know in my heart that I can never match that which you and many others create here, I always struggle to find the words where your words flow straight from you heart to your quill. Stay safe dear Jan

Jan Allison
Date: 3/27/2015 4:13:00 AM

Shane may I suggest you maybe get some advice from Andrea now the contest is over - I am sure she will help you - it is the way we learn I may simply turn my other 'efforts' into haiku but they still need a lot of work. Hugs Jan xx

Shane Cooper

Date: 3/27/2015 3:32:00 AM

It is a well written piece Jan. And you are right it is a very hard form to write in. I posted a tanka earlier today, but was not happy with it, it did not feel right. So after some good advice and some research I attempted a rewrite. Four hours later I have written twelve words which I think are much better but not good enough still

Jan Allison
Date: 3/27/2015 4:10:00 AM

I have 7 more attempts in the pending file Shane I struggle so badly with the concept but I won't give up - this was my final attempt and I got the last spot in the contest:-) Hugs jan xx