Home » Poems » Charlotte Puddifoot » Selfie Suicide - First Draft

Selfie Suicide - First Draft

She tries to think how she might make it real. She feels like a windblown flame just a meaningless username. This morning she excavated the garage. Rope (is it strong enough to hold?) She thinks of e e cummings balloonman far and wee feels herself to be an anchorless balloon, floating free... Voices and faces are fainter, receding now... And it will recede, a tide going out the flame of her wick blowing out and a final blessed silence soft as black velvet.

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Peter Dome

Date: 3/2/2024 9:04:00 AM

Wow. Very deep and emotionally sad. As you know, it happens a lot sadly. Some have said, it's a long-term solution, to a short-term one. Well done. I hope it's not how you feel. Pete.

Peter Dome
Date: 3/2/2024 9:07:00 AM

Suzette Richards

Date: 2/11/2024 8:48:00 AM

Congratulations on your 3rd place win in my First Draft contest with this free verse, Charlotte. A great execution of the brief. It was a sensitive topic treated with respect. ~Suzette=

Hiya Sharma

Date: 2/11/2024 8:09:00 AM

Woah, this was painstaking to read, dear Charlotte.. You've really expressed those vulnerable emotions that run through the minds of individuals who dive in the tides of depression and are chased by suicidal circumstances. Your wordplay really is soul-hitting and really conveys in a direct way. It's also very turbulent, with so much turmoil of feelings, reflecting through. Brilliant for a first draft. Sending you best wishes and light.

Linda Alice Fowler

Date: 2/10/2024 1:34:00 PM

Hi Charlotte. A little dark - I like it. Congratulations! :)

Charlotte Puddifoot
Date: 2/10/2024 1:48:00 PM

thank you

Ink Empress

Date: 2/10/2024 6:45:00 AM

Dear Charlotte, a subject that many dont write about and many dont talk about in fear of not being understood, i have helped so many suicidal individuals, some transgender men, and some who have so many mental health issues, due to child abuse etc. so i felt this poem deeply. And its very graphic and very straightforward how youv written, probably thoughts that run through their mind in such situations, The rope line was hauntingly on point! You must be an empath, sending you light always

Charlotte Puddifoot
Date: 2/10/2024 1:47:00 PM

i am an empath, yes, with some psychic ability, but i've also struggled myself with suicidal depression..however, i started writing this poem after hearing of a case where someone killed herself and live streamed it on social media, so it's also a commentary on the whole sm thing

I Am Anaya

Date: 2/9/2024 8:15:00 PM

Heavy, Charlotte but unique, like you. I'll stick with politics...sure Suzette will love this!

I Am Anaya
Date: 2/10/2024 3:11:00 PM

Back with CONGRATULATIONS! excellent for just a draft

Charlotte Puddifoot
Date: 2/10/2024 1:49:00 PM

no good will come from politics, but thanks for your comment

Paige Hind

Date: 2/9/2024 12:52:00 PM

Gosh, I hope you're okay. This is so beautiful, 'real'- as you put it. Even though it's very dark... wishing you light!

Charlotte Puddifoot
Date: 2/10/2024 1:50:00 PM

thanks for commenting, will visit soon

Paul Bell

Date: 2/8/2024 12:15:00 PM

Seemingly there's a Canadian guy who sends you stuff through the post and even checks to make sure you're doing it right. Isn't the internet great.

Paul Bell
Date: 2/9/2024 10:15:00 AM

Speedy recovery.

Charlotte Puddifoot
Date: 2/9/2024 4:27:00 AM

ah right, wondered what you were talking about..health issues, so not been around much

Paul Bell
Date: 2/9/2024 2:06:00 AM

Should have explained, the guy's been charged with sending suicide kits to people. You okay, been awhile.

Charlotte Puddifoot
Date: 2/8/2024 2:34:00 PM

John Lawless

Date: 2/8/2024 4:59:00 AM

I keep cutting the rope but it's still too long...This is an ingeniously written and poetically intense take on the subject.

Charlotte Puddifoot
Date: 2/8/2024 2:36:00 PM

thanks, it's just part of the rough draft of an unfinished poem

Tom Woody

Date: 2/7/2024 3:31:00 PM

Hmmm...not big on suicide poems or music. I was on Deviantart back in the day and all those young people wanted to write about was suicide and cutting. It got old. Still, your unique free verse style always shines. Wishing you a nice week. I haven't forgotten you

Tom Woody
Date: 2/8/2024 2:58:00 PM

Lol I understand totally

Charlotte Puddifoot
Date: 2/8/2024 2:37:00 PM

it's been a difficult week...i feel the same way about apocalyptic poetry, old hat, it says nothing new to me..still, if it's penned by you i'll read it, just because