Notes About The Poem

One Stone Cold Heart

My father’s funeral, a sad occasion but his cruel actions go beyond the grave My sister had organised a display A silver frame contained a picture of his smiling face Many other smaller photographs were scattered on the table One picture in particular caught my eye I’d never seen this photograph before … One stone of cold chiselled grey granite Three generations of names embellished with gold letters a permanent family memorial… But MY name was missing One of the mourners asked me why my name wasn’t there It is a question I still don’t have an answer for Two years have passed since he died … I am still yet to grieve (This has been a very cathartic poem to write. I have since discovered that in 2007 my father organised for his name, my mother’s name and my sister’s name to be added to the family grave in Lithuania. Just the dates of death are missing… along with my name) Two word challenge contest Sponsored by John Lawless 11-05-17
Copyright © | Year Posted 2017

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12
Scars Avatar
January 9, 2018 at 11:07 AM
so sad Jan, I wonder why he would do that..so sorry about that, yet such a great poem and congrats :)-luloo
Gauthier Avatar
January 6, 2018 at 7:13 PM
Congrats again, Jan. For sure, it's the people the closest to you that can hurt you the deepest. We PSoupers are your new family. Warmest wishes.
Hamilton Avatar
January 6, 2018 at 9:12 AM
Very emotive write Jan, I remember reading this poem, congrats on a fine placement!
De Beaulieu Avatar
December 1, 2017 at 2:14 PM
Oh those are hurtful words. You will heal in time. I did not weep for my dad, all through my life he gave a a hard time. Verbal abuse every day. So i know how it feels tobe hurt by a parent. Have a nice evening my friend.
Allison Avatar
December 2, 2017 at 4:25 PM
I doubt I will ever grieve for him Darlene and my mother hasn't either:-( hugs jan xx
Thayer Avatar
December 1, 2017 at 8:32 AM
Heart wrenching words, I can relate. Godspeed...Vickie Thayer
Allison Avatar
December 1, 2017 at 11:34 AM
Thanks vickie I'm sorry you can relate too it is such a difficult thing to come to terms with:-( hugs Jan xx
Breedt Avatar
November 30, 2017 at 1:19 AM
Hi my Jan, you pulled this one from the gut. Its deeply personal and leaves a broken bitter mark. May your name be written in flame in other minds . The ommision was.meant to wound but you go and fix it now, make it heal, make it real. Fandamilies bah! Legacy bah! Live on in enlightenment. Love is what makes the world go round. I am sending mine to you. Here...
Allison Avatar
November 30, 2017 at 7:29 PM
Thanks Jannie. I am over the pain and writing the poem was incredibly cathartic. I will never visit the country either in life and definitely not in death. there was no reason for my name to be omitted as my paternal grandmother's remains are in Siberia yet she is named on the grave. My father hurt me in life and after his death - I will never grieve for him nor has my mother:-) hugs jan xx
Gauthier Avatar
November 25, 2017 at 8:51 AM
Chilling, Jan. On the surface, your poem flows great for maximum impact... ouch! Freedom is a gift - you are a soul of the global village, out to venture on your own where your path and final destination is far from predetermined.
Allison Avatar
November 25, 2017 at 9:53 AM
I would never have been interred in the family grave, but there was no reason why my name wasn't put there as my paternal grandmother is buried in Siberia yet her name is on the gravestone. It was so so painful at the time but it matters not now I am over the hurt and will never set foot in Lithuania in life or in death:-) hugs jan xx
Wigley Avatar
November 16, 2017 at 9:46 AM
Belated congrats on a rather sad POTD, Jan. I can only console with the fact that you are not stone, you are warm and give warmth and love. The letters you missed were cut from cold steel. Your opposite. Viv x
Allison Avatar
November 16, 2017 at 9:50 AM
Thanks Viv :-) Unfortunately I didn't melt the sponsors heart with this one lol and got an n/a but POTD means much more than a win:-) It was so so painful at the time but since writing the poem I go on the internet and look at the gravestone and the hurt is gone - I have written a poem about my final resting place and I am happy I will remain on the IOM - well scattered to the wind and sea but you know what i mean lol:-) hugs jan xx
Hamilton Avatar
November 15, 2017 at 11:56 AM
So sorry for all that you went through Jan, sometimes family can cause the worst pain, and they are the ones that are supposed to be there for us, congrats on POTD, very emotional write!
Allison Avatar
November 15, 2017 at 12:02 PM
Thanks John. I have been on a rollercoaster of emotions over the last 4 years since I wrote my first poem. Seeing the photograph was incredibly painful at the time but I am long over that hurt and writing the poem was so cathartic:-) hugs jan xx
Bateman Avatar
November 15, 2017 at 7:43 AM
Hello Jan, Congratulations on POTD with this very personal, moving, sad, and emotionally-heart rendering write. I know that this one had to be difficult for you to write. Sometimes the best way to deal with such "Ghosts of Personal Cruelty" is to confront them head-on, as painful as it is, even if they are family. And you've done this quite admirably with your write here. And I certainly agree with what Charlie Smith said, "Stay true to yourself and you'll rise above it all." Best Wishes, Gary
Allison Avatar
November 15, 2017 at 7:48 AM
Its over 2 year's since my father's funeral neither my mother nor I have grieved - it was incredibly painful to see the gravestone without my name on it (irrespective of where my remains are to be interred ... my paternal grandmother is listed but her remains are in Siberia) I am well over the hurt and the poem was incredibly cathartic to write:-) hugs jan xx
Smith Avatar
November 12, 2017 at 8:24 AM
Cruelty springs from all types, mothers and fathers sadly are not exempt. Stay true to yourself and you’ll rise above it all. Congratulations Jan for POTD honors...
Allison Avatar
November 12, 2017 at 8:29 AM
Thanks Charlie, it was so painful at the time but now I don't care and it was so cathartic to write the poem. My hubbies cancer has given me an inner strength I never knew i had:-) hugs jan xx
Sivey Avatar
November 8, 2017 at 6:44 AM
This is such a sad poem! I feel so sorry for you, and I just want to reach out and give you a HUG...as friends are the ones that really get us through things like this! I'm glad that writing this poem helped you, that is awesome! It is tough to experience harsh words or actions that our family might say or do! But just remember you are who you make of yourself, you have control of your own life and you can make the best of anything...just like you did! I'm proud of you Jan! Great Work my friend!
Allison Avatar
November 8, 2017 at 3:55 PM
Thanks so much Russel, your comment means a great deal. My hubby was proud of me for writing the poem as it is probably the most personal poem I will ever write, i am over the hurt but it was so painful at the time. The poem gives me closure, since I wrote the poem I have looked at the grave on the cemetery website and feel no emotion :-) hugs Jan xx
S     Avatar
November 8, 2017 at 4:29 AM
Contratulations on this POTD Jan. Such a very sad write. My heart hurts for your pain. Unanswered questions can haunt us. Prayers for your peace. Best, Judy
Allison Avatar
November 8, 2017 at 3:52 PM
I am at peace Judith, my father died in Feb 2015 and I am past the hurt but it was very painful at the time , writing the poem has been so cathartic:-) hugs jan xx
Ashley Avatar
November 7, 2017 at 7:47 PM
A deeply painful, emotional poem that you penned so excellently Jan. Heartrending... Congratulations on POTD honors with your moving and powerful poem!
Allison Avatar
November 8, 2017 at 3:50 PM
Thanks Susan:-) hugs jan xx
Pett Avatar
November 7, 2017 at 4:40 PM
Congratulations on achieving POTD with this heartbreaking poem Jan.
Allison Avatar
November 7, 2017 at 5:54 PM
Thanks Roy:-) hugs jan xx
Robinson Jr. Avatar
November 7, 2017 at 3:55 PM
Very painful, emotional poem, Jan. It made my heart cry ... mostly for the pain that photo no doubt caused you. Brilliantly expressed self-awareness. Kudos for POTD. Harp piercing poetry. Love and joy always.
Allison Avatar
November 7, 2017 at 5:58 PM
Thanks Freddie it was incredibly painful at the time but now I am past hurting. I have been on line twice since i posted the poem and looked at the picture of the gravestone in the ceremony - I have closure and the poem has been so cathartic to write :-) hugs jan xx
Rodrigues Avatar
November 7, 2017 at 3:37 PM
Awfully sad. Hoping you find peace. Cruelty that stems from parents is the worst. Nice expression of you cathartic emotion!
Allison Avatar
November 7, 2017 at 5:59 PM
I am at peace Kim, the poem just had to be written and the contest was the catalyst for the words to come flowing. My final resting place is in a recent haiku poem:-) hugs jan xx
Cunningham Avatar
November 7, 2017 at 3:20 PM
By sharing this we can all see who the better person is. Yes it is you ! Well done for POTD. You deserve it.
Allison Avatar
November 7, 2017 at 6:01 PM
Thanks Tom I am at peace the poem was very cathartic to write, it was incredibly painful at the time when i saw the pic for the first time but I've looked at it twice online since I posted the poem and I am over the hurt:-) hugs jan xx
George   Avatar
November 7, 2017 at 1:22 PM
Dear Jan, Your name will never be forgotten. You are a poet with the gift to touch the very soul of the reader. Sincerely, Elaine
Allison Avatar
November 7, 2017 at 6:06 PM
Thanks so much Elaine:-) hugs jan xx
Cresswell Avatar
November 7, 2017 at 12:31 PM
Congratulations! Your poem does me in as father/daughter relationships can be the best or worst there are. Mine was also the later. I found your poem so familiar in its wondering why. Well done!
Allison Avatar
November 7, 2017 at 6:38 PM
They say you can choose your friends and not your family - if it hadn't been for support from friends at home and on soup I would have struggled with life issues over the past 4 years since my hubby had cancer surgery and I wrote my first poem and joined soup:-) hugs Jan xx
Andresen Avatar
November 7, 2017 at 12:10 PM
- A deep sad writing, Jan - Giving me a lump in my throat ... why or how can part of your blood do that .... - Congratulations on your p.o.t.d. - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
Allison Avatar
November 7, 2017 at 6:40 PM
We both know the issues families can bring Anne Lise:-( people's actions are so unpredictable:-( hus jan xx
Marcum Wong Avatar
November 7, 2017 at 11:28 AM
I can only imagine how you felt when seeing that photo. How sad Jan....his loss! Congratulations on having this very deserving poem honored for POTD! : )
Allison Avatar
November 7, 2017 at 6:42 PM
I've recently found the picture on line and looked at it twice since I posted the poem. I feel nothing now, the pain was intense when I saw the pic at the funeral but it has gone, it has been the best thing to write about it!:-) hugs jan xx
Roper Avatar
November 7, 2017 at 11:08 AM
:'( wonderful poem, but so very heartbreaking... people can be very cruel and when it is family it is even worse. Congratulations On Poem of The Day Hugs sweet friend <3
Allison Avatar
November 7, 2017 at 6:48 PM
Thanks so much Eve yes the cruelty of family can be beyond comprehension:-( hugs jan xx
Andresen Avatar
November 7, 2017 at 12:12 PM
- Really true, Eve
Yvonne Avatar
November 7, 2017 at 10:59 AM
Maybe there were two stones. One for the naughty the other for the nice. You only saw the naughty list.
Allison Avatar
November 7, 2017 at 6:50 PM
ha ha ha well there will never be a stone showing where i was I am to be scattered and have written a poem about my final resting place which was chosen in 2013:-) https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/spectacular_sunset_on_our_final_resting_place_952095 hugs jan xx
Yvonne Avatar
November 7, 2017 at 10:58 AM
I still have a lump in my throat. Congratulations on poem of the day.
Allison Avatar
November 7, 2017 at 6:52 PM
I'm overwhelmed how my poem has touched so many people Armand:-) the pain was terrible when i saw the pic but i have closure through this poem:- hugs jan xx
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