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ONE STONE COLD HEART

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My father’s funeral, a sad occasion but his cruel actions go beyond the grave My sister had organised a display A silver frame contained a picture of his smiling face Many other smaller photographs were scattered on the table One picture in particular caught my eye I’d never seen this photograph before … One stone of cold chiselled grey granite Three generations of names embellished with gold letters a permanent family memorial… But MY name was missing One of the mourners asked me why my name wasn’t there It is a question I still don’t have an answer for Two years have passed since he died … I am still yet to grieve (This has been a very cathartic poem to write. I have since discovered that in 2007 my father organised for his name, my mother’s name and my sister’s name to be added to the family grave in Lithuania. Just the dates of death are missing… along with my name) Two word challenge contest Sponsored by John Lawless 11-05-17

Copyright © | Year Posted 2017




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Date: 1/9/2018 11:07:00 AM
so sad Jan, I wonder why he would do that..so sorry about that, yet such a great poem and congrats :)-luloo
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Date: 1/6/2018 7:13:00 PM
Congrats again, Jan. For sure, it's the people the closest to you that can hurt you the deepest. We PSoupers are your new family. Warmest wishes.
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Date: 1/6/2018 9:12:00 AM
Very emotive write Jan, I remember reading this poem, congrats on a fine placement!
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Date: 12/1/2017 2:14:00 PM
Oh those are hurtful words. You will heal in time. I did not weep for my dad, all through my life he gave a a hard time. Verbal abuse every day. So i know how it feels tobe hurt by a parent. Have a nice evening my friend.
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 12/2/2017 4:25:00 PM
I doubt I will ever grieve for him Darlene and my mother hasn't either:-( hugs jan xx
Date: 12/1/2017 8:32:00 AM
Heart wrenching words, I can relate. Godspeed...Vickie Thayer
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 12/1/2017 11:34:00 AM
Thanks vickie I'm sorry you can relate too it is such a difficult thing to come to terms with:-( hugs Jan xx
Date: 11/30/2017 1:19:00 AM
Hi my Jan, you pulled this one from the gut. Its deeply personal and leaves a broken bitter mark. May your name be written in flame in other minds . The ommision was.meant to wound but you go and fix it now, make it heal, make it real. Fandamilies bah! Legacy bah! Live on in enlightenment. Love is what makes the world go round. I am sending mine to you. Here...
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 11/30/2017 7:29:00 PM
Thanks Jannie. I am over the pain and writing the poem was incredibly cathartic. I will never visit the country either in life and definitely not in death. there was no reason for my name to be omitted as my paternal grandmother's remains are in Siberia yet she is named on the grave. My father hurt me in life and after his death - I will never grieve for him nor has my mother:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 11/25/2017 8:51:00 AM
Chilling, Jan. On the surface, your poem flows great for maximum impact... ouch! Freedom is a gift - you are a soul of the global village, out to venture on your own where your path and final destination is far from predetermined.
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 11/25/2017 9:53:00 AM
I would never have been interred in the family grave, but there was no reason why my name wasn't put there as my paternal grandmother is buried in Siberia yet her name is on the gravestone. It was so so painful at the time but it matters not now I am over the hurt and will never set foot in Lithuania in life or in death:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 11/16/2017 9:46:00 AM
Belated congrats on a rather sad POTD, Jan. I can only console with the fact that you are not stone, you are warm and give warmth and love. The letters you missed were cut from cold steel. Your opposite. Viv x
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 11/16/2017 9:50:00 AM
Thanks Viv :-) Unfortunately I didn't melt the sponsors heart with this one lol and got an n/a but POTD means much more than a win:-) It was so so painful at the time but since writing the poem I go on the internet and look at the gravestone and the hurt is gone - I have written a poem about my final resting place and I am happy I will remain on the IOM - well scattered to the wind and sea but you know what i mean lol:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 11/15/2017 11:56:00 AM
So sorry for all that you went through Jan, sometimes family can cause the worst pain, and they are the ones that are supposed to be there for us, congrats on POTD, very emotional write!
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 11/15/2017 12:02:00 PM
Thanks John. I have been on a rollercoaster of emotions over the last 4 years since I wrote my first poem. Seeing the photograph was incredibly painful at the time but I am long over that hurt and writing the poem was so cathartic:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 11/15/2017 7:43:00 AM
Hello Jan, Congratulations on POTD with this very personal, moving, sad, and emotionally-heart rendering write. I know that this one had to be difficult for you to write. Sometimes the best way to deal with such "Ghosts of Personal Cruelty" is to confront them head-on, as painful as it is, even if they are family. And you've done this quite admirably with your write here. And I certainly agree with what Charlie Smith said, "Stay true to yourself and you'll rise above it all." Best Wishes, Gary
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 11/15/2017 7:48:00 AM
Its over 2 year's since my father's funeral neither my mother nor I have grieved - it was incredibly painful to see the gravestone without my name on it (irrespective of where my remains are to be interred ... my paternal grandmother is listed but her remains are in Siberia) I am well over the hurt and the poem was incredibly cathartic to write:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 11/12/2017 8:24:00 AM
Cruelty springs from all types, mothers and fathers sadly are not exempt. Stay true to yourself and you’ll rise above it all. Congratulations Jan for POTD honors...
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 11/12/2017 8:29:00 AM
Thanks Charlie, it was so painful at the time but now I don't care and it was so cathartic to write the poem. My hubbies cancer has given me an inner strength I never knew i had:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 11/8/2017 6:44:00 AM
This is such a sad poem! I feel so sorry for you, and I just want to reach out and give you a HUG...as friends are the ones that really get us through things like this! I'm glad that writing this poem helped you, that is awesome! It is tough to experience harsh words or actions that our family might say or do! But just remember you are who you make of yourself, you have control of your own life and you can make the best of anything...just like you did! I'm proud of you Jan! Great Work my friend!
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 11/8/2017 3:55:00 PM
Thanks so much Russel, your comment means a great deal. My hubby was proud of me for writing the poem as it is probably the most personal poem I will ever write, i am over the hurt but it was so painful at the time. The poem gives me closure, since I wrote the poem I have looked at the grave on the cemetery website and feel no emotion :-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 11/8/2017 4:29:00 AM
Contratulations on this POTD Jan. Such a very sad write. My heart hurts for your pain. Unanswered questions can haunt us. Prayers for your peace. Best, Judy
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 11/8/2017 3:52:00 PM
I am at peace Judith, my father died in Feb 2015 and I am past the hurt but it was very painful at the time , writing the poem has been so cathartic:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 11/7/2017 7:47:00 PM
A deeply painful, emotional poem that you penned so excellently Jan. Heartrending... Congratulations on POTD honors with your moving and powerful poem!
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 11/8/2017 3:50:00 PM
Thanks Susan:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 11/7/2017 4:40:00 PM
Congratulations on achieving POTD with this heartbreaking poem Jan.
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 11/7/2017 5:54:00 PM
Thanks Roy:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 11/7/2017 3:55:00 PM
Very painful, emotional poem, Jan. It made my heart cry ... mostly for the pain that photo no doubt caused you. Brilliantly expressed self-awareness. Kudos for POTD. Harp piercing poetry. Love and joy always.
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 11/7/2017 5:58:00 PM
Thanks Freddie it was incredibly painful at the time but now I am past hurting. I have been on line twice since i posted the poem and looked at the picture of the gravestone in the ceremony - I have closure and the poem has been so cathartic to write :-) hugs jan xx
Date: 11/7/2017 3:37:00 PM
Awfully sad. Hoping you find peace. Cruelty that stems from parents is the worst. Nice expression of you cathartic emotion!
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 11/7/2017 5:59:00 PM
I am at peace Kim, the poem just had to be written and the contest was the catalyst for the words to come flowing. My final resting place is in a recent haiku poem:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 11/7/2017 3:20:00 PM
By sharing this we can all see who the better person is. Yes it is you ! Well done for POTD. You deserve it.
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 11/7/2017 6:01:00 PM
Thanks Tom I am at peace the poem was very cathartic to write, it was incredibly painful at the time when i saw the pic for the first time but I've looked at it twice online since I posted the poem and I am over the hurt:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 11/7/2017 1:22:00 PM
Dear Jan, Your name will never be forgotten. You are a poet with the gift to touch the very soul of the reader. Sincerely, Elaine
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 11/7/2017 6:06:00 PM
Thanks so much Elaine:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 11/7/2017 12:31:00 PM
Congratulations! Your poem does me in as father/daughter relationships can be the best or worst there are. Mine was also the later. I found your poem so familiar in its wondering why. Well done!
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 11/7/2017 6:38:00 PM
They say you can choose your friends and not your family - if it hadn't been for support from friends at home and on soup I would have struggled with life issues over the past 4 years since my hubby had cancer surgery and I wrote my first poem and joined soup:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 11/7/2017 12:10:00 PM
- A deep sad writing, Jan - Giving me a lump in my throat ... why or how can part of your blood do that .... - Congratulations on your p.o.t.d. - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 11/7/2017 6:40:00 PM
We both know the issues families can bring Anne Lise:-( people's actions are so unpredictable:-( hus jan xx
Date: 11/7/2017 11:28:00 AM
I can only imagine how you felt when seeing that photo. How sad Jan....his loss! Congratulations on having this very deserving poem honored for POTD! : )
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 11/7/2017 6:42:00 PM
I've recently found the picture on line and looked at it twice since I posted the poem. I feel nothing now, the pain was intense when I saw the pic at the funeral but it has gone, it has been the best thing to write about it!:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 11/7/2017 11:08:00 AM
:'( wonderful poem, but so very heartbreaking... people can be very cruel and when it is family it is even worse. Congratulations On Poem of The Day Hugs sweet friend <3
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 11/7/2017 6:48:00 PM
Thanks so much Eve yes the cruelty of family can be beyond comprehension:-( hugs jan xx
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Sunshine Smile
Date: 11/7/2017 12:12:00 PM
- Really true, Eve
Date: 11/7/2017 10:59:00 AM
Maybe there were two stones. One for the naughty the other for the nice. You only saw the naughty list.
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 11/7/2017 6:50:00 PM
ha ha ha well there will never be a stone showing where i was I am to be scattered and have written a poem about my final resting place which was chosen in 2013:-) https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/spectacular_sunset_on_our_final_resting_place_952095 hugs jan xx
Date: 11/7/2017 10:58:00 AM
I still have a lump in my throat. Congratulations on poem of the day.
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 11/7/2017 6:52:00 PM
I'm overwhelmed how my poem has touched so many people Armand:-) the pain was terrible when i saw the pic but i have closure through this poem:- hugs jan xx
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