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On a Roll For Contest

I nestled my bottom on the seat
Of the toilet - I’m being discrete
I finished my job
Now need a lynch mob
It’s a good thing I didn’t excrete!

There’s no paper left in the loo
My language is turning quite blue
If you use the last sheet
Will you kindly replete
Or there’ll be a hullabaloo

Contest -I’m so annoyed
Sponsor Mary Oliver Rotman

01 08 15

Copyright © Jan Allison | Year Posted 2015

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James Fraser Date: 10/10/2015 1:33:00 PM So so annoying is this, also is leaving the toilet roll beside the basin, double grrrrrr! for that - hugs//James xx Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 10/10/2015 2:17:00 PM LOL :-) hugs Jan xx

Sara Kendrick Date: 8/13/2015 3:00:00 PM Awesome work !! No wonder it is in the winners’ list. Congrats..Sara Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/13/2015 3:09:00 PM Thanks Sara:-) hugs jan xx

Edward Ebbs Date: 8/11/2015 11:12:00 PM LOL hopefully it's a full bathroom and the shower is right next to you! Congrats! :) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/12/2015 2:56:00 AM ha ha ha Ed - good thought! Hugs jan xx

Tim Ryerson Date: 8/11/2015 6:16:00 AM BIG congrats my friend! The title is sheer GENIUS...One point I'd like to make though, why aren't MEN allowed to complain when their wives fail to put the toilet seat back UP? It's an outrage I tell you! Gender discrimination at its worst... Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/11/2015 11:44:00 AM ha ha ha Tim - i wrote a poem when i first started posting called something like 'ode de loo' I do like to have fun with my titles:-) hugs jan xx

Dr. Upma A. Sharma Date: 8/10/2015 1:06:00 AM Congrats on ur awesome winning poem Jan! Great work! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/10/2015 4:15:00 AM Thanks Dr Sharma:-) hugs Jan xx

John Lawless Date: 8/9/2015 8:16:00 AM Sorry Jan, I was in a rush to post a poem. Isn't one of the ten great laws of spirituality "to insure a spiritually uplifting experience for those to follow......put a new roll of TP on the roll." I think it comes right after the one about refilling the ice cube tray. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/9/2015 8:30:00 AM Wise words indeed John - maybe there should have been an 11th commandment written!:-) Hugs Jan xx

Eve Roper Date: 8/8/2015 10:37:00 PM Back to congratulate you on your win. Hugs Eve Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/9/2015 1:16:00 AM Thanks so much for all your support my friend:-) hugs Jan xx

Skat A Date: 8/8/2015 9:59:00 PM Jan, Congrats in Mary's contest. **SKAT** Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/9/2015 1:16:00 AM Thanks so much Skat:-) hugs Jan xx

Etienne Lariviere Date: 8/6/2015 3:34:00 PM voila today you have made me cry for the poor, and now you make me laugh at myself! Bravo Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/6/2015 4:09:00 PM Thank you so much for your support my friend:-) hugs jan xx

David Fisher Date: 8/3/2015 8:19:00 PM You flushed down, I mean 'out' a winner here, Jan. Good luck in the contest! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/4/2015 2:55:00 AM LOL David - thanks for dropping by:-) hugs Jan xx

Shane Cooper Date: 8/3/2015 7:24:00 PM Little Jan Me thinkest that my lady fair is spending a lot of time in the Outhouse these days!!! Love the poem!! Put a smile on my dial Love Shane xxx Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/4/2015 2:54:00 AM I am trying to get away from writing poems about poop but this really is a pet hate lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser Date: 8/3/2015 2:51:00 AM Jan, hilarious!hahah! the title is two thumbs up for me! hugs!xx~Olive Eloisa =') Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/3/2015 3:42:00 AM Thanks Olive - I do like to have fun with the titles too:-) hugs jan xx

Paul Callus Date: 8/2/2015 10:55:00 AM Two complimentary and humorous limericks which as usual elicit more than a smile! Love the title. ~ Hugs // paul Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/2/2015 10:58:00 AM I need to stop the poop poems Paul but sometimes I have to go with the flow lol:-) hugs jan xx

Kp Nunez Date: 8/2/2015 10:02:00 AM lol! That's why I always check for your humorous writes! This is tops! hahahah...You sure are on a roll...! huggs Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/2/2015 10:04:00 AM LOL Kim:-) As long as I can brighten someone's day that is the main thing:-) hugs Jan xx

James Peranteau Date: 8/1/2015 10:56:00 PM Comical indeed dear poet ! "on a roll"....love it ! Good luck..have a great upcoming week Jan....much love, james Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/2/2015 4:41:00 AM Thanks James and I am still laughing at your mail - very funny:-) hugs Jan xx

Anna Hopper Date: 8/1/2015 9:56:00 PM Laughing out loud! Excellent job, as always! Enjoyed your humor this evening! Great pen. Good luck! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/2/2015 4:40:00 AM Thanks so much Anna:-) Hugs Jan xx

Afolabi Muideen Date: 8/1/2015 7:09:00 PM Lol!!!,I love this piece, It so much funny, this read like a winner to me...........A.M. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/1/2015 7:12:00 PM Thanks so much Afolabi:-) hugs jan xx

Joseph May Date: 8/1/2015 4:05:00 PM Love the title of this humorous write....good luck in the contest...hugs Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/1/2015 4:19:00 PM Thanks Joseph I do appreciate your support:-) hugs Jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen Date: 8/1/2015 1:35:00 PM - I love your "smile" ....... your humor !!!! - You are "true" and straight to the point !!! - Makes me always laugh :) - I wish you good luck in the contest! - Hope all is well with you - (big waves, waiting for me - now in august) - (7) - hugs // Anne-Lise :) Login to Reply Anne-Lise Andresen Date: 8/1/2015 1:50:00 PM So true !!! ...... Absolutely free :))) Jan Allison Date: 8/1/2015 1:45:00 PM Thanks Anne Lise - my first poem was called 'Splendid Isolation' - written after my husband's cancer surgery but when I posted my first poem here I posted a humourous one - my intention is to write with humour whenever I can:-) There is always someone going through tougher times than we are and a smile costs nothing:-( hugs jan xx

Thomas Martin Date: 8/1/2015 1:21:00 PM ROFL! Great, Jan! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/1/2015 1:27:00 PM Thanks Thomas - I am the self confessed Queen of poop poetry and wear my crown with pride:-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich Date: 8/1/2015 1:15:00 PM on a roll, GREAT word play. GREAT humor, as always, jan. YOU ROCK!! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/1/2015 1:19:00 PM you know me Andrea - I can't resist the opportunity to write pooh poetry and this REALLY does irritate me - not so bad at home but at work they have these horrid massive rolls and the end of the paper gets torn off and you can't get your hands on the next sheet - arrgghhh - I always take some in with me in my bag now lol

Demetrios Trifiatis Date: 8/1/2015 12:58:00 PM The problem with Limericks is that they turn up to the least expected places, Jan! ...Riotous! Will the contest take place in public view? Ha-ha! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/1/2015 1:03:00 PM ha ha ha I hope Mary will judge it behind closed doors:-) hugs Jan xx

Nette Onclaud Date: 8/1/2015 12:45:00 PM *laughing*.. you never run out of poop poems, jan.. another fun poem.. huggs Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/1/2015 12:47:00 PM I have to go with the flow Nette - maybe I could write a book of pooh poetry lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Eve Roper Date: 8/1/2015 12:38:00 PM Hahaha... oh your poems are so wonderful and creative a 10++++ Hugs dear friend Eve Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/1/2015 12:41:00 PM No Eve they are simply a load of pooh - but who cares lol :-) hugs Jan xx

Bill Lindsay Date: 8/1/2015 11:35:00 AM Don't know where you'll finish in the contest; but I'm guessing No.1 or No.2 ;) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/1/2015 11:40:00 AM ha ha ha ... Guess if I get a podium placement I will be flushed with success:-) Hugs Jan xx

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